“Sometimes it feels like I have no connection with my spouse…Kids don’t obey me…It seems like I’m a stranger to my own family…” – does this sound familiar to you? Probably, at least once in a lifetime everybody has faced this feeling when their family is almost like a separate country, where all members live by their own rules. So, what should you do to keep the family closer – where everyone wants to share their feelings, motions, experiences, success and even failures?
If you want a strong relationship between you, your spouse and the kids, you must cherish it and make efforts to bring the family closer. These 9 secrets can make your family closer. Maybe you already use all or some of these tips without knowing it. Nevertheless, we recommend reading them and trying to put some in your family’s life.
9 Those Magic Words, “I love you”
There is no doubt, how important these words are to your significant others. You’ll agree - when your hubby says this magical phrase, your day shines brighter. So, let him know what you feel for him too. Leave a sweet note on the fridge or send him a lovely SMS.
You must tell your kids “I love you” as well. It doesn’t matter how old your children are, you must find moments to tell how much you love them. It can be the first step to strengthen your relationship. All children need to hear it and feel loved by their parents, it goes a long way to stopping problems before they start and helping kids adjust.
It’s essential to tell your family you love them especially in those unpleasant moments when you have conflicts or are angry with them. Exactly, in those provoking moments they should know that your anger doesn’t change the fact that you love them.
8 Trust and Conversations
Talking is an essential factor of any relationship. So, find moments for family conversations about your values and other significant issues. The best place to talk is over a family dinner every evening with talk about important issues to each individual.
Let kids ask questions and express their doubts. You and your hubby can give them honest answers. These conversations should be without any limits. Make them funny and cozy, where your spouse and kids can relax and chat easily. This will help your kids trust you and want to tell you their secrets. Don’t judge them if they talk about something bad that happened or that they did. Let them know, that they can trust you, because it’s significant to them.
The same stands for the relationship with your husband. Find some time to spend together and just talk. Not just about the kids, your income or other problems. Yes, these are important topics, but you both must find time to talk about your feelings, emotions and expectations. There cannot be any secrets between you two.
7 Family Holidays
Yes, although it sounds old fashioned, family holidays are great for spending time together. If you haven’t started this tradition yet, this year is your opportunity to start. Plan a family trip at least once a year. Even the planning could be fun. Involve all family members. If your kids are big enough, ask them what they would like to see or do during their holiday.
Try to combine your and your hubby’s holiday times. Save some money for the holiday trip or search for some discounted trip offers. Have a concrete holiday plan, you could create a holiday budget and start saving a certain amount every month. If your incomes don’t allow you to have holiday abroad, think about local routes. It would be nice for you all to escape from the daily grind even for the weekend. Besides, the holiday memories will last a long time.
6 Family Traditions
Think about adding something extraordinary for your family only! You can create your own family tradition that will make your family seem like a cool club. It doesn’t have to be anything big, it can be as simple as ice cream after a baseball game. But these little traditions mean the world to your kids and your relationships.
Another idea - you can create a special ritual before going to sleep. For toddlers it can be a fairytale or lullaby song – the little ones will remember this tradition forever. Don’t forget these rituals when your kid grows up. If your child can read by himself – he can read something for you then. Even teenagers can be involved in these rituals – a short conversation, the special good night wish or something else can be the best end to the day.
These are just simple examples of lovely family’s secret traditions that make you all closer together. Just make it pleasant and unique.
5 Intimacy is Essential for Everyone
After you have children, being alone with your husband will become very rare. So try to keep sex in your intimate lives to keep your relationship close with your hubby. Don’t forget to find time for only the you two of you. Leave the kids with the grandparents and go out, just you two.
Or you can make a romantic dinner at home surrounded by candle light. Once in awhile arrange a sentimental overnight trip where you can enjoy being together. This escape from kids will help to keep a romance and intimacy between you and your spouse.
Everybody will agree that while raising kids, parents forget each other often, but if you make a conscious effort to find time to be together, it will make all the difference to your relationship.
Having time alone with your kids is also important. Give them this special time where he won’t have to share your attention with anybody. It must be a time just for you two. Play with your kids. You’ll see their eyes start to shine when you join in their play time. Let them see your funny (or sometimes silly) side and enjoy the time you have together.
4 Never Forget Important Dates or Places
Never (ever!) dare forget any important or significant date, place or other occasion that means something to your family members! Celebrate all birthdays and anniversaries. Don’t miss your kids’ school or kindergarten festivals. Congratulate your husband with important achievements in his professional career.
Remember all your kid’s friends’ names. Pay attention to what your children talk about, what is influential for your spouse. This will make them feel important for you. These little moments show that you care about your family. And they will feel better about themselves that you think about them and their world.
3 Advocacy Everywhere, Every Time
Your family must be solid. This should be rule number one. Don’t criticize your spouse’s opinion or behavior, especially in public. Save your opinions and observations for private conversations later. Your significant other and children should feel that you respect them and stand by their side always, no matter what happens.
Respect your kid’s choices too. You can dislike his shirts or hats and maybe the toys all over his room, but let your kid be himself. Never castigate your children in front of their friends, teachers or other significant people. They will feel ashamed and probably will keep their distance from you.
Let your family become a priority for you and let them know it. Enjoy this time with your family and let it be only your family’s time. They are worth it.
2 Everybody Likes Surprises
Who doesn’t like surprises. Try to make your family happy with little unexpected presents. It doesn’t need to be a special occasion, just buy something just because…you love them.
It can be a small toy or a cake for your smallest child given without any reason. Make a romantic dinner for your spouse – just to spend an evening together. Arrange a day trip to a movie or fairground. These little surprises will make your family feel excited about the spontaneity, and they’ll appreciate their mom and wife.
Besides, kids love receiving their parents lovely gifts and this will help them learn about generosity and kindness.
1 Be the Best!
People admire the perfect people around them. Of course, being perfect can be mission-impossible. But you can try for your family. Be the best wife and mom for your kids. Make your husband fall in love with you again and again.
Don’t forget to love yourself, so feel beautiful and do things for yourself too. Don’t forget your spiritual side, nurture this as well. You are the heart of your family and only you can make it closer. Try your best to be an example for your kids and spouse. They already know you’re the most wonderful woman in their lives.
Make your kids be proud of their incredible mother as well, try never to disappoint them. It may sound difficult, but if you at least try they will see it. Set a good example for your daughter, and let your son compare every girl with you.
All positive actions and motives can be used to ensure your happiness. Remember – nobody will care more about you than your kids and husband. So, your task is to make your family as solid as a fist. If it seems rough, stay positive. A positive attitude is the best answer to all doubts.