In light of this week as baby loss awareness week, men are sharing their experiences dealing with a miscarriage. While they aren’t the ones who feel the physical symptoms, a lost baby still greatly affects their mental health. Without proper counselling, the whole experience can permanently affect their psyche.
Metro published an op-ed written by a father who went through three miscarriages before his wife had a successful pregnancy. He details how each experience affected him and how it was tough for him as his wife’s main support. One thing he does highlight is that he realizes how much harder the whole ordeal was for his wife. She experienced the physical torments of the miscarriages on top of the psychological effects they had on her.
Most of the torment came from mourning the dream of a child. The author detailed how excited he would get at the thought of being a dad. As they began to prepare for the arrival of the baby, he would fantasize more and more on all the things he could to together with his child. They’ve been prepared, and they’re ready to give all their love to their child. To have all those dreams crushed one day is devastating.
It’s not just a single dream of having a child either. Each child is different, so each loss is a different battle in of itself. With each loss, he felt as if his prospects of being a father were diminishing. To make matters worse, it made him more sensitive to any news about children. He couldn’t truly be happy for his friends and loved ones who are expecting a child because he kept feeling like the world is unfair.
Apart from dealing with grief personally, being a strong support system for your partner is also a mental strain. The grieving process is unique to each party involved. A miscarriage affects people differently, and it’s important to recognize that. Just because you aren’t the person who carried the child doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to grief and you need to be the positive support all the time. This week is all about raising awareness of what happens to people when they lose a baby, and dads’ feelings shouldn’t be overlooked.