It's completely understandable why the vast majority of articles regarding birth and the birthing process are written for females and the female perspective. After all, moms are the ones who are going through the lion's share of the work. They're the ones who have to grow, carry, and nurture the child as well as go through the extreme birthing process — not to mention pump their milk and keep their baby feed and happy.
But this doesn't mean that the male perspective isn't important. Because it is. Most of the time, it's far more beneficial for a mom to have a partner to raise the child with, whether that's a man or a woman. But for this article, we will mostly be focusing on the male perspective, as it's the most interesting, given the fact that dads have a much different thinking process from moms.
Readers may be taken aback to know that there are actually a number of things that most dads find really uncomfortable about the birth. Some of these things have to do with the ick factor, while others are tied to the empathy and sympathy they have for their baby-mama. So, let's delve in, shall we? Without further ado, here are 20 things every dad finds extremely uncomfortable about the birth and the birthing process.
20 Rushing To The Hospital
Usually, it's the dad's responsibility to get his pregnant partner to the hospital in time for delivery. This can pose a lot of stress for dads who feel the importance of this duty on their shoulders. This is one of the reasons that they do practice runs, similar to what Ross did for Rachel in Friends. This helps them figure out precisely how long it will take them to get to the hospital as well as which is the best route to take depending on the time of day. As you can see, a lot of thought goes into it. Dads tend to be on guard about this constantly. It's a state that becomes them until the baby finally comes. And this state can make them very uncomfortable.
19 Monitoring The Contractions
Right before and during the birthing process itself, a dad usually is the one who has to pay attention to the contraction monitor. This is because their pregnant partner can't see it from where they are laying. This means that the dads are responsible for letting a woman know when her contractions are about to peak as well as when they are going to subside. The medical professionals are usually not yet in the room or a very busy delivering the baby. A dad wants to make the mama feel comfortable and in control as possible, which is why they tend to narrate what's happening on the monitor. However, this can cause them a bit of stress and thus make them uncomfortable.
18 The Stress Of The Wait
Obviously, waiting around in a sterile hospital is particularly hard on the mom. But when a mom is fully in things, it's the dad that feels the level of discomfort. After all, they are on the sidelines with a lack of control. Even when the mama is dealing with contractions and increasing discomfort before the baby arrives, the dad has to find ways of keeping her calm and focused. Here, the wait can drag on forever. And, of course, there's literally nothing that they can do to speed up the process. This is why it can cause them a lot of discomforts.
17 The Extreme Nature Of Labor
This entry may be the most obvious one. But most dads just are prepared for the extreme nature of the birthing process itself. This is an incredible full-on aspect of nature. It's never pretty and it can be a lot to take. Additionally, the dad is seeing their partner in what seems to be a lot of distress. Even if he has done a bit of research on this process, or has been through it before, it never curbs the impact that it has. Besides, moms tend to be far more prepared for the birthing process than dads. After all, they've truly felt like it was coming for months ahead of time. Additionally, dads don't have as strong of a stomach as we may think.
16 Being On The Sidelines
Up until the birthing process, a dad has been pretty much in the game. Sure, he hasn't been the one growing the baby inside of them. But he has had an active role in making sure his wife is happy and comfortable. This can involve driving her around, caring for her home needs, and even doing some medical things at home. But when she arrives at the hospital, a dad needs to stay on the sidelines and let the professionals do their job. This can cause a level of discomfort within him. Whether he has a control issue or just wants to help, the feelings can add up until the baby is born and he can take it and his wife home.
15 Giving Birth 43 Hours Later
Most dads believe that labor only lasts a few minutes, or, at least, an hour. But this isn't always the case. While some labors can be very swift, others can be long, tedious, and belaboring. The second a dad senses that their child's birth will take longer than expected, they start to get uncomfortable. This is because it means that the intensity of the action will be prolonged. It also means that there's more opportunity for things to go wrong. Therefore, it can be a bit nerve-wracking for the dad. The mom feels this too, of course, but sometimes they are so caught up in what's going.
14 Being Entirely Helpless
Men, by their nature, tend to enjoy the feeling of control. This isn't always a bad thing. In fact, when it comes to business, it's one of the reasons they can succeed. But when it comes to giving birth, they have absolutely zero power. They are utterly out of their element that it's almost funny. But being out of one's element doesn't always have to do with ego, it can do with empathy as well. When a dad sees his partner under the amount of pressure that they are during pregnancy, he will likely want to step in and help in some way. However, there's literally nothing he can do but support his wife on the sidelines. This also means that they have to trust the professionals doing the job.
13 Professionals Making All The Choices
Trusting the medical professionals is an absolute necessity for both moms and dads. But sometimes a mom will trust them quicker than dads can. This is because the moms and the medical professionals, whether they're doctors, nurses, or doulas, are actively in on the process. Whereas as dad is relegated to the sidelines to be a cheerleader. If a dad doesn't like the professional, things can get uncomfortable very fast. A dad can feel like they are sliding in on the process that should be between him and his partner. Additionally, dads don't like when the medical professional seems like they are making all the choices for both of them.
12 Over-Reacting To Everything
One of the ways a dad can feel like he has some importance in what's going on is if he gives his partner a big reaction. Overreacting to a specific circumstance can make them appear like they're really involved and care about the process. This is something that they could worry about if their partner has mentioned it before. After all, every dad wants to show their wife that this moment means something to, even if they process things more internally.
Additionally, dads can get very uncomfortable with their partners if they overreact to their circumstance, AKA battle their doctor in every arena. This is because the dad typically wants things to go as smoothly as they can. And arguing with a medical professional the whole way through can be a negative.
11 Being Woefully Unprepared
When a dads pregnant wife is on that hospital bed, with the lights hitting her, and the doctors put on their latex gloves, things get real very fast. It's usually then when a dad realizes that he's been woefully unprepared for this moment. This could entirely be about becoming a father for the first time and all the responsibility that goes with it. But it could, and often is, entirely about the pregnancy process. At least, it is at the moment. A dad could have read all the books and seen a few Youtube videos to prepare himself, but being in a room with active labor going on is another thing entirely. This is when they feel mighty uncomfortable since they really feel like they don't know what to do.
10 The Change in Relationship Dynamic
Introducing a baby means that a couple's relationship dynamic shifts drastically. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. That third little person totally changes the balance and alters the focus and energy. Realistically, the baby will get the majority of a mom's attention for a very long time. Maybe even for the rest of her life. Most of the time a dad understand this and the same perspective is felt by him. But sometimes this isn't the case. And that feeling can really settle in during the birthing process as this is when a dad finally realizes that a baby is just about to come to life and everything is going to change forever.
9 And The Money Just Decreased
Worrying about money isn't necessarily a negative thing for a father to feel when his baby is being born. It's actually very realistic. Whether a family has a ton of money or very little, having a baby is going to shift the balance of the bank account to a considerable degree. When you add up all the expenses that a baby brings, both in the short-term and the long-term, it can make any person's heart sink. Sometimes a dad can start to feel uncomfortable about this when he begins to see that the baby is actually a reality; AKA when they are coming out of their mother.
8 Providing The Necessary Distractions
It's usually part of a dad's job to provide his pregnant partner with all the necessary distractions while they are waiting for delivery as well as directly afterward. Taking a woman's mind off of the extended wait and her eager anticipation can be very helpful in calming her down and making things run more smoothly. This sounds easy in theory, but a woman's hormones are running high at this point, which means she could change her desires at any given time. Suddenly, watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix is so, so not a great idea. This can make a dad feel very uncomfortable as he has to constantly attempt to make his wife happy.
7 Not Knowing All The Technical Lingo
Not knowing the medical lingo necessary to understand what exactly is happening can make a dad feel very uncomfortable. It's part of the feeling of a lack of control. A dad is also naturally very worried about the health and happiness of his partner and their unborn child. Therefore, they want to stay on top of things. But sometimes the medical staff can fill their brains with terms, situations, and anecdotes that they just don't understand what's so ever. One way for dads to avoid this feeling is to prepare themselves and do their homework as much as possible. But, more importantly, they need to be able to ask the doctors to clarify and answer their questions.
6 Being Tuned In With The Mother During Labor
Dads are often tasked with helping to push a mother's body during contractions. Believe it or not, but this whole process can be a group task. Usually, a woman is lying on her back while giving birth, therefore the dad will be at her side and supporting her under her shoulders. The dad will also often help bend back one of her legs to be able to help her get into the right position for each push. But at the moment, people can feel disconnected. Therefore a dad can feel the stress of having to attempt to be in tune with their partner who may be fluctuating constantly. This can make a dad feel pretty uncomfortable.
5 Responsible For Being The Advocate
A certain pressure is put on a dad's shoulder when they have to represent their partner at the hospital. Sometimes they really need to step in and take control of the situation in order to make sure their wife is happy and healthy. A pregnant woman has one task to focus on and she can't be distracted by anything else, even some of the medical decisions that need to be made. Often, they may be in no position to communicate anything at all. This means that they need to be their advocate and even their mouthpiece. This can make a dad uncomfortable as he doesn't want to do something wrong.
4 Recording The Entire Thing
Sometimes parents, or grandparents who can't be there on the day, really want someone to record the birthing process. Although this may prove to be awkward content for a child to watch later in life, a lot of parents really want it as a keepsake. It's usually up to the dad to do this job. But it can pose a lot of issues for him at the moment. First off, he wants to make sure that he captures his wife in only the best of light. Not during her most uncomfortable and definitely not when her hormones are causing her to become agitated. Getting the right angle is also important. This can make a dad feel uncomfortable as he wants to do the job correctly. That, or he really doesn't want to do it at all.
3 Things Are About To Get Messy
Unless dads have been through the birthing process before, they literally have no idea just how messy it can become. A lot of the time they have to fake their level of discomfort in order to keep the situation calm and their wife happy. After all, he wants her to feel like he's focused on her happiness and is thrilled about the baby to come. But inside, they can be squirming a bit. The entire birthing process can be pretty full-on. It can include primal noises and some pretty memorable sights. Even if a dad believes he's prepared for what he's about to see, he really has no idea until he's in the moment.
2 The After-Birth Logistics
Directly after birth, a dad becomes responsible for being the one who informs friends, grandparents, and other family members of how everything went and details about the new baby. The mom has been through a lot mentally and physically and will, therefore, be just too tired to do any of it. Therefore, a dad will have to make the calls, set up the Skype conferences, and keep everybody else happy. This can be a lot of work and make him feel pretty uncomfortable as everyone has their own desires and levels of expectation. After this, there are the logistics of transporting the baby and mom home. This first-time adventure can get a guy's nerves on edge.
1 If Bad Things Happened
Of course, one of the most important things going through a dad's mind during the birthing process is the health and safety of his partner and his baby. Although the chances are low, bad things can happen during the birthing process. It is, after all, a very extreme process. Childbirth classes can help to quell some of these worries, but deep down they always exist, causing a level of discomfort within the dad until the entire thing is over. Of course, not every bad thing that can happen is life ending or long-lasting. But even still, a dad's job is to worry a little, and this can really affect him.