Facing fertility issues? Here are 7 things that might totally exhaust you in your efforts

Not everyone in the world has the pleasure of getting pregnant right away, without having to put in a lot of effort. However, people who aren’t lucky in this regard are the ones who truly understand how stressful trying to get pregnant can get. For couples who are trying to become pregnant, just the stress and overwhelming desire of getting pregnant can trigger an urgency to conceive. But there are plenty of other things as well that tend to exhaust them. These are typically inclusive of stressful events like having the ‘dreaded talk’ with their partners, setting up their first appointment with their chosen fertility specialist and a whole lot more.

Just the mere thoughts of aspects such as these can exhaust a couple, but honestly speaking, there are plenty of other things that can add to their exhaustion and drain them off every bit of their energy. The worst part is that these things cause further problems in any conception efforts that such couples make. Here’s a look in to the seven things that tend to cause even more issues for people seeking fertility treatment:

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7 The stress caused by waiting, and waiting, and waiting

For some people, waiting is just, well, waiting right? And that can’t be too hard, yeah? But things are the complete opposite when you are trying to conceive and have fertility issues to deal with. Although waiting is not something exhausting, it can get just that in such cases. Why is that so? Well, for the simple reason that when you try to conceive and are desperate for it, you actually start living by the clock and the calendar. You end up having to count the days until your next period, working out the days when you ovulate, figuring out when the best time to ‘try’ will be, and then again waiting for your next period to arrive. Honestly speaking, the entire ordeal can get extremely stressful and becomes rather tiring in the long run – particularly when the same cycle needs to be repeated for years.

The worst part about the stress that the entire act of ‘waiting’ causes is that it tends to make conception even harder for the couple. Yes, like it or not, but stress actually has the potential to interfere with conception and will make getting pregnant for you a whole lot harder. It is for this reason that when you don’t conceive for a long time, people just end up saying ‘Relax, it will happen soon’. Although it sounds a bit weird, there’s a kernel of truth in there. If you don’t relax and continue trying hard, you will continue to stress yourself out and that will further diminish your chances of getting pregnant.

The reason why this happens is that stress affects the working of the hypothalamus, which a gland found in the brain and regulates the hormones that are responsible for telling the ovaries to release eggs. This means that upon being stressed out, you might ovulate later or might even skip on it for the month. Hence, if you have sex on the 14th day of your cycle thinking that you are going to ovulate, your chances of conception are lost. 

6 #: Insurance

There aren’t many insurance policies out there that offer coverage for fertility treatments. Those who are fortunate enough to have the sort of health insurance that covers fertility treatments initially think they have it all worked out for themselves. What they do not realize is the fact that getting a ‘go-ahead’ from an insurance company is nothing short of being a misery. Honestly, I personally know a couple who has been waiting for the past six weeks for their insurance provide to ‘approve’ their coverage request, but there’s always something or the other that comes up and creates a hindrance. They started out with sending in the required forms, after which they were requested to fill in another forms. Upon sending that, the entire procedure was repeated TWICE again and they STILL have not heard back from their provider – think how stressful and exhausting that must be!

There are plenty of things that you should know about acquiring coverage for fertility treatments. When purchasing health insurance, it is vital for you to go through the tiniest of details to find out whether or not fertility treatments will be covered by it or not. The thing with a majority of insurance companies out there is that they do not prefer paying for procedures prior to having a claim being filed. However, at the initial stages, they will let you know which procedures will be covered under the policy you have purchased and how much you can expect to be paid for them.

When purchasing health insurance that covers fertility treatments, it is necessary for you to verify whether the following services are covered by it or not:

  • Injectable infertility drugs
  • Diagnostic testing for infertility
  • In vitro fertilization (IVF)
  • Artificial insemination
  • Surgeries that assist in restoring or correcting fertility

At times, insurance providers merely cover costs associated with monitoring and medications, so long as you do not use them alongside any other artificial means of conceiving a baby. In certain cases, insurance companies provide coverage for everything related to your fertility treatment except for the insemination itself. 

5 #: Looking for a sperm donor

Before getting into details, not all couples who have fertility issues have to look for a sperm donor. However, this aspect of fertility treatment is a major concern for many couples out there and hence needs to be mentioned. Honestly, couples at times need to go through countless sperm donors before actually finding ‘the one’. Yes, the entire process of finding the right sperm donor can get extremely exhausting, but before that, there’s the stress of choosing a sperm bank first.

Donor sperm is basically used by couples in which the husband/partner doesn’t have sperm or has a very poor semen analysis. This option is also taken up in case the male has a genetic problem that might get inherited by the baby upon conception. Now, when it comes to selecting a donor, there’s a lot involved. Couples have the right to decide the sperm bank as well as the donor that they wish to use. To come to a decision pertaining to the donor they want to use, couples go through extensive details like the donor’s ethnic background, race, physical characteristics, career history, general health and educational background etc. Each sperm bank has several donors available, and to be honest, going through all the information available about them can get extremely exhausting. Seriously speaking, choosing a sperm donor can turn out to be one of the most overwhelming tasks that a couple needs to fulfill in their efforts to conceive a baby.

While going through all of this information, couples also need to make sure that they choose a donor who has been tested for infections like:

  • Chlamydia
  • Gonorrhea
  • Syphilis
  • HIV
  • Trichomonas
  • Streptococcal species
  • Hepatitis B

The reason why testing is important in this regard is because all of these diseases and organisms can get transmitted to a woman via semen. Apart from impacting the woman, it can have extensive effects over the developing fetus too.

With such a lot of risk involved, finding a sperm donor that is just right can get rather overwhelming. In the long-run, the entire procedure tends to exhaust couples, and makes having a baby even more complicated for them.

4 #: Trying, trying and trying yet again

Trying is perhaps one of the most exhausting aspects involved in trying to conceive a baby. Yes, just the mere act of trying can get rather unnerving for most couples to the point that they just want to give up. For people, trying to get pregnant equals dressing up all sexy every night, but trust me, it’s the complete opposite. The last thing on a couple who has sex for the sole purpose of conceiving a baby is that of passion and romance – passion and being sexy usually goes right out of the window when conception comes in. The only thing that couples start focusing on is that of having sex when it is the ‘right time’ and when perfect timing comes in, the ‘fun’ aspect is nowhere to be found.

The thing with infertility is that there are quite a few medical conditions that can lead to it. These are inclusive of:

  • Endometriosis
  • Blocked fallopian tubes
  • Ovulation disorders
  • Premature menopause
  • PCOS
  • Uterus abnormalities
  • Uterine fibroid tumors
  • Premature menopause etc.

However, it isn’t always just the female who suffers from infertility issues. Research shows that about one-third of infertility cases are caused because of problems with the male partner. The different problems that males suffer from are inclusive of:

  • Sperm production disorders
  • Structural abnormalities
  • Infections and immunologic disorders
  • Ejaculatory issues

However, the one thing that matters the most in every TTC effort a couple makes is that of the age of the woman’s eggs. With the passage of time, the genetic material tends to lose out on its viability. For this reason, women who are under 35 years old have the best chances of conceiving a baby with the help of the different treatment options available these days for infertility. But the one thing in common amidst all women trying to conceive is the anxiety and depression that they face. Trying to get pregnant and then getting your period each month is not only overwhelming, but extremely disappointing too, which makes ‘trying’ all the more exhausting. Oh and when there are friends and family members around who conceived easily, things tend to become a whole lot more upsetting for the couple!

3 #: Having to talk about ‘the struggle’

Who thought talking could get hard? No one, right? But that’s the case with talking when you are trying to conceive and are facing fertility issues. No matter who you decide to talk to, be it your partner, your mother, your best friend, your sister or just strangers on an online forum, there is always the need to talk to someone or the other when you have so much going on in your life. But the downside is that talking about fertility issues isn’t as easy for every other couple out there. For instance, if you have been trying to conceive for the past two years, talking about it can get rather unnerving with time. Telling the entire story over and over again can really wear you out. At times, it makes you feel like your life has come to a halt, and everything is moving fast – just this hurdle is not ready to budge.

However, in order to battle your feelings of depression and to keep yourself sane, it is necessary for you to talk to someone or the other about it. No matter how uncomfortable it makes you, no matter how challenging you find it to be, it is highly recommended for you to talk about it with someone. Although when you start talking about it, even the friendliest of suggestions might appear stingy and insensitive, it is vital for you to remain calm and keep your cool.

Now, there are quite a few tips that you can follow when communicating with family members and friends about your infertility issues and the treatment you are receiving for them. Before anything else, it is necessary for you to decide how much details you wish to share with others about your trying to conceive efforts. It is best for you to discuss this particular aspect with your partner, so you both remain on the same page when talking to people. Remember, your partner might not be comfortable with disclosing certain bits of information, and you need to ensure his/her privacy. When talking with people, don’t be afraid to ask for their support and tell them how you think they can keep you motivated. As long as the conversation remains on point, you’ll get through it. 

2 #: Facing setbacks

No matter how hard you try, facing setbacks is a part of the entire trying to conceive procedure. When you get down to it, you will hear a lot of things like “Don’t give up”, “It will happen at the right time”, “Don’t give up”, “Maybe next month” etc. But no matter what anyone has to say, each failed cycle comes with its own set of disappointments along with the dread that the same craziness is going to continue to the next month. The worst part is that in such a situation, you don’t really have any other option but to listen to people and keep your cool. Not everyone knows what it is like to put in all that energy and watch it yield negative results, and putting up with that is perhaps one of the toughest setbacks that couples have to face when TTC.

Undergoing disappointments, setbacks and a range of obstacles is one of the most common things couples get to come across when they take up infertility treatment. Considering that they are already rather emotional about the entire ordeal, such an occurrence typically tends to trigger further distress. Already upset about the situation they are in, it is common to see such couples become extremely anxious in case a roadblock comes up in their plans. The worst part is that their emotional response is so overwhelming at times that it tends to derail any chances of success that they might have.

If this is the sort of situation you are in, well, there are a few things that you can do in order to deal with the ‘bad news’ or at times when problems come up in your treatment plan. First of all, take a deep breath and then think whether this problem is fixable or not – if it’s a medical condition that has triggered this hindrance, it can easily be resolved. Instead of getting caught up in your emotions, think straight. Instead of panicking about things, stay calm and get in touch with your fertility specialist right away. The harder you take this setback on yourself, the tougher it will be for you to conceive in your next cycle.

1 #: Dealing with the disappointment

Putting up with regular disappointments is perhaps the most trying and exhausting aspect of trying to conceive a baby. Come to think of it, there is literally a limit to how much a person can take and if you get used to the idea of receiving bad news, the entire ordeal gets all the more tiring and exhausting. However, there is always the need for you to continue trying and somehow, you just learn having to live with such disappointments.

But there are plenty of ways for you to cope with your disappointment. To begin with, it is necessary for you to refrain from blaming each other, and yourself. Feelings of disappointments are natural, but getting pregnant doesn’t always have to come easily – and if it is taking a while for you to get pregnant, you don’t need to blame yourself for it.

The next thing that you need to do is to bear in mind the fact that the path to pregnancy is packed with ups and downs, and in order to make things work, it is necessary for you and your partner to talk to each other and even communicate with other couples who are in the same position as you two. Also, don’t base your life on a strict course of scheduled sex and ovulation tests – relax for a bit and just take a break for a while. As you relax, spice up your love life and have a bit of fun together. Take a vacation – seriously, the internet is PACKED full of stories of couples who went out for a vacation, had the time of their lives and ended up conceiving a baby without worrying about scheduling sex and taking their basal body temperature!

The next thing that you need to focus on is that of pursuing your interests. If nothing around you interests you anymore, well, look for something new for you to try out. If you like hiking, head out on a trip; if you are interested in playing the guitar, take it up. No matter what it is that tempts you, give it a go and follow your heart for a while.

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