Before I ever got pregnant I didn't understand why so many women didn't love their postpartum body. How could you not love the body that created life? How could you not just look in the mirror and think, "wow I am a complete powerhouse,"? I just didn't understand how your confidence wouldn't just sky-rocket. After delivering my first child I guess I kind of assumed that everything would just kind of pop back into place. I am not sure why I thought that but I did. I didn't realize that I would have a fourth-degree tear, that my stomach would look like I was still pregnant and that I would just looked puffy!
It took some time but I finally got my body back after about 7-8 months. Wow, why do women complain? It really wasn't that hard. I mean, I was exercising, and I don't eat a lot but it seemed too easy! Well, with each child it got harder and harder to achieve. I gave birth to my fourth child and she is one years old. My weight is back to pre-pregnancy but my body looks like it has gotten beaten up. I understand why women don't look in the mirror and are happy with what they see. They look at their deflated stomach, their saggy boobs, and they might think that gravity is just trying really hard. I sometimes look in the mirror and I am sad. I did bring four lives into this world and I sometimes just am too hard on myself.
First of all, I have to remind myself that I created life. I did that! With my body, I built four humans. My body built these their organs, their little fingers, their toes, and even their brain! Like, how did I do that? My body just knew how to do it! I have to tell myself all the time how awesome my body is because it really is amazing. I didn't like pregnancy but it is really amazing.
No mother is perfect. Every mom, no matter how amazing she looks from the outside, has moments where she doesn't feel good about herself. Every woman has something that they are self-conscious about. You need to understand that nobody is 100% happy with their body. So, it is normal. I am not happy with my body a lot of the time, but there are ways to build up confidence and help you learn how to feel sexy again after pregnancy. Here are some great types to help you feel sexy!
- Become healthier: The best thing that you can do is to make sure that you are being healthy. It is hard to feel beautiful if you know you are not taking care of your body. Eating the proper foods and getting exercise can increase your mood. From the words of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands. They just don't.” Although we laugh at this classic line, she is right! You do get endorphins from exercising and they do make you happy! You will feel so much better if you're taking care of your body.
- Dress up: When I am feeling sad about myself I dress up. I am very much a "comfort" gal where I am usually in basketball shorts, sweats, and my hair is in a messy bun. Although I love feeling comfortable there are times that I feel ugly and frumpy. The simple fix, just get ready! I just get ready for the day and I feel so much better and I feel like I am much more put together. You know though, there are sometimes that I try really hard to make myself feel beautiful and I am still not happy. I often think of Mia Thermopolis from Princess Diaries when she looks in the mirror and she says, "well, this is as good as it's going to get." That is how I feel sometimes.
- Take those selfies: There are a lot of negative connotations associated with selfies. I didn't take them for a really long time, heck I didn't even want to be in pictures. I just always felt like I was ugly and I felt like I couldn't take very good photos. However, I learned that taking pictures every time I feel good about myself is such a great way for me to feel beautiful. Sometimes when I am not feeling great I flip through those old photos and I realize that maybe I am not all that bad looking.
- Talk to your Spouse: Make sure you talk to your spouse about what you are feeling. They can make sure that they are reassuring you that you are beautiful. They will remind you about how perfect and wonderful you are!
- New Wardrobe: Your body is different after giving birth and even if you lose the weight it won't look quite the same. You shouldn't expect your new body to look the same in your old clothes. I kept on feeling really bad about myself because my jeans didn't fit the same even after I lost a lot of weight. I cried because I didn't feel pretty and I had nothing that fit. The only clothes I could fit into with my new wide hips were maternity clothes and that does not make a postpartum woman feel good about herself. It is time for you to go out and get some clothes that make you feel beautiful and look confident. After giving birth to my daughter I was feeling really down about myself and then I got Cadenshae leggings and I finally felt like me again. It is a great feeling to feel confident and comfortable in your new body.
It is okay to feel like you are struggling with your confidence. It is normal. Being comfortable with your postpartum body certainly does not come overnight and it does take time. Just remember, you are beautiful and amazing!
Sources: Simple Slow & Lovely, Extremely Good Parenting, Psychology Today,