It's hard being a woman. We have to endure periods, crazy hormones, pregnancy and menopause to name a few. We also have to have yearly, well, woman examinations. Going to the gynecologist is awkward enough— laying on a table, feet in stirrups, legs spread for everyone to see. Maybe not everyone , but some people. Namely the Dr. and the nurse.
Now, once becoming a mom, and going through labor and delivery; the gynecologist doesn't seem so bad. Think having two people look down there is bad? Try having a whole room full of people.
Most of the time, a trip to the gynecologist is normal and informative. It's a great time to ask questions about "down there" health and discuss problems or worries we may have. When we go to the gynecologist we certainly hope for the least amount of awkwardness. Sometimes though, we don't always get what we hope for.
Sometimes, we get the opposite. Some of the most embarrassing moments stem from a simple visit to the Dr.
For some, having a normal conversation while having a pap smear performed is no big deal. For others, it is so uncomfortable, they opt to not even go. (Don't do this, go to your yearly exam!) If only that was the worst thing to come from this kind of Dr. visit.
Talk to anyone woman and more than likely she will have at least one, if not more embarrassing, awkward or down right humiliating story from the gynecologist. Below there are 15 fantastically funny, and embarrassing stories from going to the gynecologist.
16 Hold My Calls
Imagine, having a yearly exam, only for the Dr. to take out their lunch and start eating it! That is pretty far out there, but not so far out there. I don't know anybody whom has had this happen, but that doesn't mean it hasn't.
A friend of mine told me that once, while she was in the middle of her exam, the Dr.'s cell phone rang. He answered the phone and continued to talk for a minute. He apologized, and said it was important, but she found a new gynecologist after that. Don't mind me doc, just talk on your cell phone while I am spread eagle. Thanks!
That is really inappropriate behavior! And unfortunately this is becoming way too common. Dr.'s when giving a woman a pelvic exam, perhaps shut your cell phone ringer off and definitely do not answer the phone!
15 Shut The Door!
One lady, spoke of her visit to the gynecologist when she was 15. She said it was awkward due to the fact that the woman doing the pelvic exam was a family friend, and about 60 years old. The user told of her mother's experience with this gyno, which was much funnier. The gyno had a hard time getting the speculum aligned right, and had to throw it away.
She tried to tosses it into the trashcan and misses, then she grabs another speculum. After getting it aligned right, someone needed her. She left the mother on the table with the speculum still inside of her, and the door wide open! She comes back in the room, only to tell the mom how "funny" her cervix is. She finishes the exam and tries to throw the speculum into the garbage can again, and misses again. Yikes!
14 Like Mother Like Daughter
Many mothers take their daughters to their personal Gynecologist. It's like a right of passage. My mom did with my sisters and me. It is suppose to be comforting, knowing this Dr. has taken care of a member of the family for many years. Some people don't have such great experiences though. Instead having the same doctor as your sister or mother can be down right awkward.
One user stated that she and her mom went for her first appointment together. Her mom had an appointment that day as well. While being examined, the Dr. asks her (while looking at her vagina) "Aren't you so and so's daughter?" Talk about family resemblance! Come to find out, her mother was examined right before her... still though, that is pretty awkward!
13 Cleaning Out The Cobwebs
Many woman make jokes about their intimate life, or lack thereof. It's funny when we do it, not so funny when our gyno's make jokes. When a women is in the stirrups, it's probably good advice to not make jokes about their most intimate body parts, and sex life. One story is from a call in to a radio show.
The caller was stating that all male gynecologists try so hard to make their patients feel comfortable, because being in the stirrups is so embarrassing. One patient was getting a PAP Smear.
While inserting the speculum, the patient told him "Oh, by the way, there are cobwebs up there." "You don't have an active sex life then?" he responded. "No" she said, "I was talking about your ceiling!" He said they both had a good laugh over that. Sometimes life's embarrassing moments sure make for some great stories!
12 Two For One
While going in for a procedure, a Hysterosalpingography, one women had to wait 2 hours. She also requested that her husband be allowed to go back with her. They told her he was not allowed to go back into the exam room. They got her on the exam table, then asked if some medical students could observe.
Obviously, she was a little ticked, since they refused to allow her husband back there. She gives in, so in walks 8 medical students, a nurse and the doctor, all while she is on the table, legs up, speculum in! The Dr. looks at her chart, then tells her they can't perform the procedure, because of when she ovulated . They told her it would have to wait until next month. How fun...
11 Getting Glitter Bombed
When going to the gyno, most of us take special care cleaning our private parts. Nobody wants to go and risk being unclean, unshaven or not have on cute panties. Not that the gyno should be looking at the patients underwear.
One lady was running around one day, taking no special care to her appearance. She had her little toddler with her, and was running errands, then remembered she had her yearly pap exam. She wanted to at least clean up down there some. She couldn't find any baby wipes, and opted for the rag she had for her daughter.
She goes to her exam and the doctor told her she sure looked really special. Wondering what he meant, but not asking, she soon figured it out when she got home. Her daughter had used the washcloth to wipe glitter off of her hands. Talk about a glitter bomb!
10 Follow The Instructions
One user had quite the funny story, and somewhat uncomfortable story. When going to the doctor we assume they are well trained professionals. Some poor souls have to be there for the interns and newbies. To break them in and help them become well trained professionals.
Here is her story: She went to a big clinic for a whole body exam. They took her to a big delivery room to perform the exam. The intern/resident, whatever he was, came in followed by a nurse. He finally got the speculum in, then began reading the instructions, out loud, trying to figure it out.
He was mumbling and going on about knowing what he was doing. The intern and nurse left the room, and left this poor girl, with a speculum sticking out of her. She had a good sense of humor about it and laughed, which made the speculum fall out!
9 Left In Stitches
This one women has quite the awkward gyno story. Doctor's sometimes over step their boundaries, sure it's in fun and it's only meant to put the patient at ease, but it can also be pretty odd for the person on the receiving end of the joke.
AnonymOH says, "Mine was at my 6 week check post-partum. The Dr. looked up at me and said, "Oh yeah, tell your husband I put a pleasure stitch in there for him, I'm sure he'll thank me as soon as you two resume relations." Then wiggled his eyebrows up and down a few times. It was after the birth of my second child, and I was only 21. It embarrassed the heck out of me!"
I would have been embarrassed too.
8 The Doctor's Advice
When going to the gyno, we often need advice. Sometimes our bodies are acting funny, or we need some help in the bedroom. Not always though do we need advice and sometimes the Dr. is too willing to give unwanted advice. And some of the, ahem, older generation of doctors can be somewhat judgemental.
Some older people—men, have believed for years that a woman's place is at home raising babies and her family, while serving her man (Not all men! Just some). And there is no way a woman could depend on herself and make a living without a husband! Poor Michelle found herself at gyno visit and the doctor, an older gentleman had some not so helpful advice for her.
I'm sure it came from a good place, right? Since she was in college, he asked her what her major was, and she told him. He replied by telling her to find a wealthy man and have his babies, then she would be set! I would have cracked up if my gyno ever said something like that.
7 The Doctor's Job Satisfaction
I am one of those people who feel better talking during awkward situations. Sometimes it eases the tension, sometimes it leads to an even more awkward situation. I am notorious for putting my foot in my mouth, saying the wrong thing is normal for me. I will say this though, I have some pretty funny stories due to that fact!
This story is very familiar to me, I am surprised it didn't happen to me! She and I are kindred spirits, sort of.
Anonymous says: For some reason, I felt the need to start up a conversation while my OBGYN was fingers deep, to lessen the awkwardness for me. First thing that came out of my mouth was, "So ... Do you enjoy your job?" I felt him pause ... and then chuckle. Nurse was off in the corner trying to disguise her laughter by turning her back.
But ... I saw her shaking shoulders, lol. Oops. Way to make things more awkward by sounding like a pervert!
6 First Timer
Going to your first exam with a gyno is nerve-wracking. I remember mine, and due to the type of female problems I was experiencing at the time, they sent me to a specialist to have some kind of camera shoved up there.
A lot of girls who go the first time are virgins, and the thought of something going inside of you is, uncomfortable to say the least. Here is Silver's account of her first visit: " I screamed when my gyno tried to insert the speculum at my first exam. I was a virgin and it HURT. I remember her asking me to keep it down because the waiting room was full."
"The next thing I knew, I was coming to. I FAINTED on the table." Way to make the whole office freaked out.
5 Too Much Information
The above picture is hilarious, and besides, who doesn't love a good pun? Sometimes though, the gyno jokes aren't funny, like when you're actually at the gyno's office. And this joke in particular gives way too much information.
Victoria, 26 was at her family gynecologist for a routine visit. It's the same lady who delivered her all those years ago. While talking of sexual health, the Dr. said she respected her daughters choices, but she wished she could sew her daughter's junk shut.
Wow! Talk about TMI. Nobody really wants to hear judgmental comments from their gyno, especially about their gyno's family members! Yikes!
4 The Doctor Loves Dogs
This one is just odd. Obviously by now we have all heard of some strange things happening in a gyno's office. One thing I would never expect to see is an animal in the office, it just doesn't seem very sterile. Unless of course it was a service animal. For Vicki S, this is where her appointment with her gyno got a little strange.
“I was 18, and my doctor was out of the office, so I went to the other woman doctor in the practice. I'm in a gown, feet in stirrups, when she breezes in and cheerfully asks, ‘Mind if Charlie joins us?’ I look down, and Charlie is her fluffy white dog. In my exam room. Where she is examining my vagina.
I was so young, and it wasn't really a question since Charlie had already taken up residence on my shoes, so I sort of nodded. But I also never went back.”
3 If The Doctor Can't Say Anything Nice, They Shouldn't Say Anything At All
A young girl named Tracy went to the gyno for the first time, when she was in her 20's. She was in a monogamous relationship and was planning on becoming intimate with her then boyfriend. She wanted to get on birth control and have a pelvic exam before losing her virginity.
She also knew she was very tight down there, she couldn't even wear tampons. Now we all know everybody is different, and our bodies just have to get used to certain things, like tampons and being intimate. The nervousness she was feeling while lying on the exam table caused her to contract and make herself even tighter... down there.
So much so that the doctor couldn't even get her finger in there! The doctor got so fed up, that they ended the appointment and said "Well, I'll write you a birth control prescription, but I have no idea how you're going to have sex." Real professional.
2 What's Your Number?
One of the funniest stories I came across is this one.
The first time I went to a doctor after [me and my now-husband] became intimate, [the doctor] asked me about my current intimate life and then she asked me how many partners I have had. I thought she asked how many partners he has had. So I answered "I don't know."
She asked, "Well, can you take a guess and give me an estimate?" To which I replied, "I don't have the slightest idea. I wouldn't even know where to begin guessing." She is looking more and more horrified and trying to figure out what to say next.
Finally she says, "Do you think you have been with 100, 200, in the thousands?" I finally figured out she had asked about my number of partners and cracked up laughing. I quickly clarified and gave her the number. She was so relieved.
1 Being Compared To Livestock
I have a funny story of my own. When giving birth to my daughter, my husband was my only family in the room with me. Along with numerous nurses and the Dr. on call. I had an epidural, and it made my legs numb. When it was time to get my legs in the stirrups, I couldn't move them. The nurse asked my husband to help hold my leg, and if it bothered him (having to see me give birth).
Now, my husband is a good ol' country boy. He is also charming and pretty funny. He goes on to make jokes about delivering plenty of cows and horses. He says this is no different than that.
The nurses cracked up! I was less amused. It was bad enough to have people holding my legs, and my feet in stirrups, about to give birth, basically feeling extremely exposed. But being compared to livestock while in that position didn't help. Gee thanks babe.
After reading these stories, I am so much more thankful for my gyno! She is so nice, has never judged me (at least not out loud) and has never made me feel uncomfortable. These stories have also got me thinking about gynecologists. What they have seen! From glittered coochies, to STD's, dealing with foul odors and fears.
No matter what side of the exam table you are on, it is awkward. It is also part of life, so it really helps to have a sense of humor about it!