The decision to have another child is, for a lot of parents, one of the hardest decisions to make. While some parents just know that they definitely want another child, others have a lot of difficulty deciding whether adding another person to the mix is the right decision. When you already have one (or two, or three) kids, adding another child will disrupt the family balance already in place.
Maybe you like the idea of having another child, but when you make a list there are a whole lot more cons versus pros. If you’re on the fence wondering whether or not you should expand your family, here are 10 signs you’re probably done having kids.
10 YOU’VE STARTED GIVING AWAY BABY STUFF
Most parents of young kids have basements and closets full of toys and clothes that their kids have outgrown. A lot of parents keep these items thinking that they will use them for a future child. If, however, you’ve already started (or are itching to start) giving away or selling all those baby books and onesies, it’s a good sign that maybe you’re not interested in having more kids. If you can’t bear the thought of giving away a single item, however, maybe you haven’t completely closed the door on having another child.
9 THE THOUGHT OF GOING THROUGH PREGNANCY AGAIN MAKES YOU CRINGE
Some women love being pregnant and once their baby is born, miss the feeling of creating a life. Maybe you think of the idea of being pregnant again with excitement. Or, maybe the thought of being pregnant again breaks you out in a cold sweat.
Some women also have health issues or are at an age where being pregnant poses several health risks. If you don’t at all relish the thought of being pregnant again, you may be at the stage of being done having kids.
8 YOU LOVE YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW
There is something great about settling into a nice groove as a family. You enjoy time together as a family, and you’ve got your routine down to a fine art. Maybe you’ve even carved out some time for yourself. Undoubtedly, adding another child into your life will throw that routine off kilter. And while that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if the thought of a huge disruption and change to your life just gets you down, maybe you’re not ready, or are just done, having more kids.
7 YOU’RE NOT KEEN FOR MORE CHAOS
Having a new baby, as all parents know, is one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. While there are so many wonderful moments, there are just as many moments of pure stress and exhaustion.
The baby will inevitably keep you up all night, and you’ll be consumed over caring for this little being. If you’re trying your hardest to keep a Zen-like atmosphere in your home and hate the thought of disrupting that, maybe you’re done with having more kids.
6 YOU’RE RELISHING YOUR FREEDOM
A sign that maybe you’re done having kids is if you’re really enjoying your independence and you’re not ready to give that up. Maybe your youngest has just reached the age where you feel comfortable leaving them with a sitter for a few hours while you get some much needed time for yourself. You might feel like you’re finally getting some of your identity back, and like you’re not just a parent. If you can relate, maybe it’s a sign you’re not ready for more kids.
5 YOU’RE NOT JEALOUS OF YOUR PREGNANT FRIENDS
You may be at the stage where all your friends seem to be getting pregnant. How do you feel when they tell you? If you get a little nostalgic ping or feel a little envious, maybe deep down you might want to have another child. But on the other hand, if you are genuinely happy for your friend, but are secretly glad it is not you in that position, maybe it’s a sign you want to be done having kids.
4 YOUR BIRTH CONTROL GAME IS TIGHT
How you approach birth control says a lot about your willingness to have another child. Maybe you are a bit relaxed about it and figure, if it happens, it happens.
If you find you and your partner are super vigilant about using birth control, or even doubling down (or tripling down!) on various birth control methods, it may be a good indication that you really do not want more kids.
3 YOU DON’T HAVE BABY ENVY
When you spend time with a friend and their baby, pay attention to how the interaction makes you feel. Do you get the urge to squeeze that baby and never let it go? Or do you ask to hold it just because you can tell the mom wants you to? As she’s telling you her tales of only sleeping two hours a night and marathon nursing sessions, are you secretly happy it is her not you? If so, you are probably done having kids.
2 YOU DON’T MISS THE MILESTONES
Having a baby comes makes most parents very focused on the milestones. There’s the first time they sleep through the night, teething, sitting up unassisted, and the list goes on and on. Maybe you think back fondly over these milestones and wish you could re-experience them just one more time. If so, maybe you’re ready for more kids. If the thought of having to go through a cluster-feeding baby again just makes you squirm, you’re likely done having kids.
1 YOUR FAMILY FEELS COMPLETE
Probably the biggest sign that you are done having kids is if you love your life as a family and you feel like it is complete. The decision to have another baby is a huge one, and should not be taken lightly. There are so many variables to consider, and you can make all kinds of pros and cons lists. However, at the end of the day you may just have to trust your intuition, and pay attention to the signs from your daily life.