You will find a lot of articles on parenting websites about moms, but you must feel a little bad for all the dads out there. They kind of get left out and it really isn’t fair. They already get left out of so much during this journey to becoming a parent. They don’t get to experience much when it comes to the pregnancy. They are left out of all the good (and bad) moments of carrying a baby. The mom-to-be is the one everyone swoons over and wants to talk too, while the dad just kind of stands in the background.
You may think dad is lucky to be able to skip the childbirth part, as that is not a pleasant experience for anyone, but we should feel for him then too. It is quite the emotional time for a dad-to-be, as he has to watch his partner go through something so uncomfortable and painful and he can’t really do anything to help her except offer some cold compresses and encouraging words.
Then the baby comes, and many would think that this is dad’s time to shine. Well, not really. Dad is still left out, and it can be hard for him to navigate his way back into the picture. If baby is breastfeeding, it will be all about mom and baby, as they share in this close, beautiful bonding experience. Breastfeeding is something that dads can definitely not do, but that does not mean that there is nothing he can do to bond with his newborn baby.
We are thinking of all you dads out there, and we want you to know that we know how you feel about missing out on ways to bond with your baby. We have made a list of 15 activities that you can take part in to help build that bonding relationship that will last a lifetime.
15 Dad And Baby’s Day Out
A lot of these things to do not only benefit the dad and baby bond, but they also help mom out and there is nothing wrong with that. Another great way to bond with your baby is to have a dad and baby day out. It doesn’t have to be something extravagant, because they are still really tiny and not too aware of what is going on in the world around them yet, but even something simple will do.
Place them in the stroller, or better yet baby wear them, and take them for a nice walk. The fresh air will help both of you. Fresh air has been known to help babies sleep better, so this tip is full of benefits for the whole family. While you and baby are out bonding, mom can soak in that long bubble bath she has been wanting or read a book she has been neglecting. Take your baby to the park, and even if they are not big enough to go on the slide yet, hold them close while you both take a ride on a swing.
14 Massage Party
You don’t have to be a registered massage therapist to give your baby a little massage. It is a great way to bond with the baby and learn some new skills yourself. The best time to give your little one a massage is right after a bath when you are trying to get them to sleep. Add some lotion and you have the perfect recipe to relax your baby. Again, massages feel good, so the baby will remember that you are one who makes them feel calm and happy. Instant bonding.
There are countless ways to give a baby a massage, and they can all be found with a quick Google search. Don’t worry about hurting the baby, as long as you don’t apply too much pressure your little one will be just fine. Even if they are not, they won’t hesitate in letting you know so just adjust what you are doing, and you are back on the right track.
13 Dance Party Everyday!
If you are a dad to a little girl, then you have probably already had daydreams about the future when you may be giving your daughter away and sharing in a father daughter dance. Well, it is never too early to start, and sharing a little dance together is bound to help with that bonding. Now, if your little one is really young, you don’t want to do any crazy moves just yet. Putting on some slow music and just swaying is enough to help them feel calm.
As the baby gets older, amp up the routine and put in some moves. This will all prepare them for that time when they are big enough to stand on your feet and waltz around the living room. The truth is, nothing looks sexier to a mom than watching her husband dance and be caring with their child, whether a little girl or boy. Dance away!
12 Go To The Doctor’s Visits
Sometimes bonding with your baby is not just about what you do with your baby, it can be as simple as going to every doctor’s appointment. There are a lot of visits to the doctor when your baby is just born, and it is important that dad goes to every one of them. It helps dad feel involved and aware of what is going on with the baby.
This is a different, but important form of bonding. When you are a present parent who knows about their child’s health you are the best person to care for them. You will know what to do if something happens, or help be part of the care if they are not feeling well. Doctors are great sources of information. They are full of tips and tricks for tackling parenthood and if they have children of their own they can sometimes be your best friend when it comes to bonding with your baby.
11 You Are On Night Duty (Please!)
Moms take on a lot of the brute when caring for a baby and that is partially due to the fact that they breastfeed. They are also normally the one who stays home from work to care for the baby. While we know that Dad is busy at work, if you want to bond with your baby, you need to pick up some of the after-hours work as well. One of these would be to take over night duty every once and a while. If mom pumps breastmilk, tell her you will take over the feedings for a night to let her get some sleep.
This is a great way to bond with your baby. There is something about the calm and quiet of the middle of the night while you are rocking with your baby in the dark. It will also help give mom a break and let her catch up on some much-needed sleep. She will thank you for that, and not only will you have bonded with your baby, but you will have a very happy wife as well. It is two for the price of one.
10 Be Your Own Fashionista!
Every person and family are different, but in general most would say that mom has the better fashion sense when it comes to clothes to put on the baby. Dads, it is time to end this now. Another way you can bond with the baby is by getting them dressed. Put on those cute outfits or pyjamas and make it an event. Ask your baby what they want to wear. Now, they won’t answer you but talking to your baby is a great way to help them eventually develop language skills.
If you want even more bonus points from mom, take the baby out shopping for some new clothes, this will give her a little break. Don’t be afraid of messing up, the baby won’t remember the clothes, they will only remember the time you spent together. The good news is, babies tend to look adorable in just about anything, so chances are they will always look super cute.
9 Change Those Nappies
OK Dads, we are just going to get this one out of the way. If you really want a great opportunity to bond with your new baby it is time to get elbow-deep in dirty diapers. You will learn soon that ‘elbow-deep’ is not just an exaggerated way of describing dirty diapers, it can literally be that messy. We know that dads are not the best at changing diapers (most anyways) as we watch the hundreds of hilarious YouTube videos were dads try and get through it with limited gagging.
While it may not be the most glamorous job, it is one of the best ways to bond with your newborn. That is because when your baby is that small, they only have so many needs. They need to be fed, cuddled and have their diaper changed. If mom is exclusively breastfeeding it may be hard for you to help with the feeding aspect, but you can definitely help with what comes out the other end.
8 Skin-To-Skin Is Not Just For Moms!
There is a lot of importance around skin-to-skin for babies, and that is because it is very beneficial. Most newborns are placed on mom right away after birth, that is because mom just spent the last 9 months carrying them and the baby knows no one better than mom at this point. This can all change though, with Dad stepping up to do some of the skin-to-skin bonding with baby. Skin-to-skin is a great way to calm a fussy baby, so when that baby won’t stop crying and mom is busy it is time for Dad to step up.
It also has numerous health benefits for the infant, as it helps them regulate their temperature. The sound of your heartbeat is what is so calming, as that is what the baby is so used to hearing from inside the womb. This is also a great time for Dad to cuddle and feel close to his newborn.
7 When The Crying Starts, Man Up!
Does this situation sound familiar to you: the baby starts crying and everyone starts frantically looking for mom? It happens a lot. When the baby starts to get upset, everyone immediately starts to search for mom to fix it, even Dad does. As a mom, I can tell you that this can be a bit overwhelming, especially if we are trying to have a much-needed bath or moment to ourselves. Dads really need to step in when it comes to their baby crying, for multiple reasons.
The first reason is to take some of that pressure off mom and let her have a minute of peace. The second (most important) reason is that a baby will bond to someone who comforts them. They will see you as their protector and someone safe. If you want to bond with your baby, get them when they are crying and cuddle them and console them. Try out your own little tricks that may work and you may even be starting a father tradition of making silly faces.
6 Be The Funny Guy!
One of the reasons we love dads so much is that they are always the funny guy. They are full of dad jokes and funny faces that have us chuckling all day. It is time to embrace your inner funny Dad! There is nothing sweeter than the sound of a baby laughing, and you can imagine how great you will feel if you are the one to make that first little giggle come out. You will feel like a million bucks and get some boasting ammunition.
Time to try out all the funny faces and sounds you can manage and practice them on your little one. When we laugh we feel great, so it would stand to reason that a little baby would feel the same way. Imagine how their heart will soar towards the person that makes them laugh and how they will always run to you when they are sad and need some cheering up.
5 Join A Dad-Only Group (Yes, They Exist!)
There are a lot of mom groups out there for mom to attend with the baby. It is a chance for her to get out of the house and connect with some other moms at a time when she may be feeling a little lonely. Dads don’t often know that there are dad-only groups available as well. It may seem intimidating, but we encourage you to join one. It is a great way to bond with your baby and give mom a break.
When you become a parent, sometimes it can damage previous friendships because it seems like you all have nothing in common anymore. Meeting fellow dads may help you build new friends. Not replace old friends, but new friends that can relate to you and talk to you about all the woes that dads go through in life. It will also help your little one learns to socialize with others.
4 Take Over Bath Time
Bath time is a very special time for everyone involved. It usually happens at the end of the day as part of a bedtime routine and is a great way for anyone to bond with the baby. This is normally a job that moms do, but it is time for dads to step up and be a part of it too, and you will be glad that you did. There are two options here: you can either bathe them in their bath seat or you can jump on in that bath with them.
Even if you have a little girl, there is nothing wrong with bathing together when they are that young. Some babies do not like the water and being bathed, so this is the perfect way to make bath time a calm and pleasant experience. Holding your little one skin-to-skin is a great way of bonding together. Add some warm water and bubbles and you are bound to have a wonderful time together.
3 Cuddle Up For Nap Time Together
When you become a parent, you don’t sleep: you take part in chronic napping. You nap a lot, because you sleep when the baby sleeps and the baby tends to nap a lot. Take advantage of this and share your naps together. If you bedshare and follow the rules of safety, then there is no reason you can not climb in bed with them and take some naps together.
It is another situation where you hit two birds with one stone, you get to bond with your baby and you get to take a nap. When you bedshare with your baby, they fall asleep feeling your warmth and smelling your odour. This helps to comfort them, and they will begin to know your presence because they have bonded with you. The family that sleeps together, stays together! Just please make sure you are safe when you bedshare with your infant.
2 Reading Is Fun
Reading is a great way to bond with your baby. A lot of parents don’t read to their newborns and infants because they don’t see the point since the baby doesn’t understand what they are saying. They may be right that the baby doesn’t understand what the words that they say mean but reading has so many beneficial properties.
Hearing your voice is a great way to bond with your baby, because your voice is relatively new. They know mom’s voice because they have heard it so much throughout their time in the womb. Your voice was not as prevalent, so you have a lot of time to make up for. By reading to them you are letting them get to know your voice, and it is also helping to prepare them for language development and you may have a baby who speaks quicker than others.
1 Stick By The Mom!
Your best friend when you are a parent is your spouse. Whether it be mom or dad, they are your team mate and you need to stick with them. A good way to bond with your baby is to advocate for mom. Let her have those breaks, make sure she is taken care of and advocate for her right to breastfeed. Nothing is greater to a child than growing up watching their parents work together.
A little boy will grow up to learn how a man treats a woman with respect, while a girl will grow up to know how she should be treated. By advocating for mom’s rights, you are ensuring the health and wellbeing of your baby and as their protector this will only grow the bond. Not everything has to be hands-on to create a magical bond between you and your little one. Just be the best dad you can be, and you are already halfway there.