All moms need to escape their kids at some point, whether we want to admit it to the world, or not. If we are being totally honest, those sweet, precious, needy monsters are driving us mad, and if we don’t get a break, we are going to snap. Sometimes we just need a small escape, like the husband watching the kids while we take a bubble bath, or sneaking a piece of candy when the kids aren’t looking.
The responsibility of keeping another human being alive and happy (or several) can be draining and overwhelming, and sometimes, those small escapes are just not enough to reenergize us. We start looking for ways to hide from our kiddos every day, even if only for a few precious moments.
There is nothing wrong with needing time to yourself. All people need alone time, even moms—especially moms. It is possible to love your children more than anything in the whole world, and simultaneously want to flee from them, because being everything, doing everything for them, all day, every day, is exhausting.
Don’t feel bad about reading this list, moms. Your friends and family won’t know that you clicked this link, and we promise not to tell them that you, too, feel the pressure of motherhood, and need occasional breathers—although we assure you, they need them as well, even if they hide the fact.
Whether you need a few new ideas and places to hide from your kids, or whether you are just looking for a chuckle, check out the mom who hides from her kids in the pantry, and 14 other ways moms escape from their kids.
15 Hiding In The Pantry
Say hello to mama Ashley Gardner, who hides in the pantry from her four toddler girls. Yes, four. If anyone deserves a break from the drama that must be life with that many female toddlers, it's this poor woman. Here she is, documenting a solitary snack break, and she shows us that mothers are never truly alone, not even when they're hiding in the pantry. Baby girl is still peeking under the crack, because they just always know where mama is hiding.
I can absolutely relate to this video, as I believe many mothers can, and I'm sure we have all hidden in many closets and pantries to sneak some candy, or just get a few moments of peace. Good luck, moms! Don't feel guilty for getting your snack on, or needing a break from those little demons, I mean angels. Some psychologist somewhere said that alone time is good for you, and recharges the batteries, so just remember that if anyone tries to criticize you for hiding from the kids.
14 Hiding In The Bathroom
Hiding in the bathroom is definitely a go-to hiding spot for moms (and dads, really). No one wants to hang out in the bathroom (the smell alone is not exactly ideal), but we moms have to do whatever we can to get a break, so this will simply have to do. I hide in the bathroom several times a day; to talk on the phone, to read a book or magazine, and sometimes to write articles like these.
You can even make the bathroom a more pleasant place to be. Bring in a bottle of wine, a smell good candle, a couple good books, and perhaps even your Beats, and you've got a nice little cozy space to enjoy some alone time. Only problem is that the kids will figure you out eventually, so best to rotate and mix-up your hangout spots, so they don't catch on to the locations and patterns.
13 Escaping Into A Glass Of Wine
It's not always feasible to hide from your kids at all hours of the day. Maybe they're sick and they really need you, maybe you have three hours of homework to do with your school-age child, or maybe you've been using your hiding place too much, and the kids noticed it's potential and started using at a fort. When that happens you will have to turn to alternate methods of escape--escaping into the bottle is one of them. This is a type of escape in which you are physically present (i.e. your body is in the room), but your mind has floated off onto an alternate plane called: the buzz. Yes, yes, drinking is terrible and it will turn you into an alcoholic and yadda yadda. That's what the twelve-step program was invented for, people, don't be a buzz kill. I have learned through experience that this happy place can help you get through hours of multiplications problems, and the next day--you won't even remember solving them.
12 Playing Hide And Seek - Without The Seek
Every mom in the world has played hide-and-seek with her children, and I'm pretty sure we have all rolled our eyes when little Susie wants us to play for the 15th time that day. Real hide-and-seek isn't so bad, but playing hide and seek with a toddler who hides under a lampshade can grate on your nerves a bit. "Where is Tommy? I don't see him anywhere! This is just terrible. What ever will I do if I can't find Tommy?" Meanwhile, Tommy is giggling hysterically at his clever hiding place. Sure, it's cute the first 10 times, but now you're starting to question your child's intelligence when he hides behind a see-through curtain. This is usually the point when I tell my kid that it's my turn to hide. I pick the very best hiding place, and stay there for about twenty minutes. Nice break. Or, you can let them hide, and just 'pretend' to look for them. They might fall asleep in their hiding spot, giving you a really big break.
11 Escaping Into A Good Show
Escaping into a good show is another one of those 'mental breaks' we talked about earlier. Your kid might even be sitting on the floor playing with his superhero toys in the same room, but you can block all that out with a little thing called Lifetime Movie Channel. It's one of the best escapes I've ever found, because let's face it—the closet isn't really all that fun of a place to be. If you can just drown out the sound-effects from Iron Man's Repulsor Rays, then you might really feel like you are in a small town in New England, falling in love at a Pumpkin Patch with some handsome hardware store owner. Some moms continue to argue over the whole 'screen time debate' suggesting that TV is bad. But I'm over here like, "I love screens. I want to marry screens, and have their screen babies." If life is about enjoyment and happiness, then I'm doing it right! TV makes me happy folks! Put that on my gravestone.
10 Hiding In The Garage
Hiding in the garage may not be the best solution for every mom. If you have really little children, best not to try this one just yet, or only use it when someone is in the house watching the kids. The reason the garage is such a great place to hide is because kids don't think to look in there. Some kids are even scared of the garage/basement/attic—which is even better—they really won’t look in there. Garages are also insulated, so you can't hear your kids screaming at the top of their lungs. That's also why you might want to use this one with precaution, you don't want to be so far separated from the kids that you can't hear them if they get hurt. For myself, I like to use this one when the husband is home. If I really need true quiet, I will go in the garage to hide. I can get real peace and quiet without having to change out of my jammies, which is the real reason I wouldn't leave the house to get an escape. Priorities.
9 Fleeing To 'The Gym'
Some moms aren't as lazy as I am, so they escape in much better ways than I do. They use their health and fitness as an excuse to escape the kids. This way you can dump the kids on the husband and give him a legitimate reason for leaving the house. "I've got to go to the gym, sweetie! My health is at stake." Be careful how long you spend at the gym, though. If you are going three hours every day, your husband is going to be expecting you to enter a bodybuilding championship. Sometimes you might need to bring the little one with you to the gym, but most gyms have made it possible to still escape those kids for a short time, with the invention of daycares. I have a friend who 'goes to the gym' three times a week. I don't think she has lifted weights or set foot on a treadmill, though. She drops her kid off at the daycare and plays Candy Crush on her phone in the sauna. Well played, my friend. I worship you, and call you God.
8 Escaping To The Grocery Store
Not my favorite escape, because it's still work, and yet I will take any excuse to get out of the house and socialize with adults—even if it's just with the lady who slices my sandwich meat. Going to the grocery store can be relaxing, can get you some exercise, and if your grocery store has a Starbucks like mine does—a little extra caffeine boost, as well. That sounds like a decent escape to me, wouldn't you agree? Sometimes I'll even browse through the magazines, and savor a delicious pastry. This escape is great because you don't feel so guilty about being away from the kids, because you are still accomplishing household tasks at the same time. You can convince yourself you are really doing this for them, so no need to hurry home. Take your time. Be sure to get the right kind of cereal, and it’s really tough to decide between all those different kinds of bread, isn’t it? Three hours at the grocery store is totally normal, right?
7 Hiding In The Backyard
Sometimes, hiding in the house just isn't going to cut it. The noise kids make can rival a carnival, so you've simply got to take that noise outside. Something about being outside disburses all that sound into the atmosphere, making the noise the kids make a little more manageable on your poor eardrums. Whether the kids are outside with you, or someone is keeping an eye on them inside the house, this is still a great place to escape. Nature can be truly relaxing, inspiring, and can be a wonderful place to flee to, in order to recharge your energy. I often step outside with a cup of coffee for five minutes of quiet time, while the kids are inside doing whatever. I know they're safe, but I can't hear every word, every argument, and every noise they make. It's a short reprieve, but it's still a break nonetheless, and I’ll take what I can get.
6 Hiding Under The Covers
This escape is similar to hide-and-seek, only difference is, the kids don't know they're playing. Hiding under the covers is perfect because kids don't think to check there, when it's not bedtime. They can't imagine their mama would be lying in bed, when she's supposed to be running around like a mad woman, doing their bidding. The trick is to ruffle the covers enough that they can't see your body in the tangle of blankets, pillows, and sheets. You also have to be strong enough to wait out their pleas of, "Mommy! Where are you?" If they are truly scared you have left the house or something, by all means call out to them that you are safe, but otherwise, hopefully they will forget they are searching for you, and get distracted by something else. That way, you can have a few moments of peace—to eat some sweets in bed, or just rest for a bit. Lord knows you need it.
5 Putting The Kids To Bed Before Bedtime
Bedtime is a happy time for moms no matter what day it is, but one special escape I discovered is occasionally putting those little ones to bed before the designated time. Sometimes, moms just need a little extra break, and young kids can't tell the time, anyway. They don't know it's 7:30 rather than 8:00. Whatever your kids' bedtime is, it can't hurt them to go to bed early once and a while, and if it gives the kids a more refreshed mom, it's better for everyone, right? I actually used this escape by accident once, not noticing the time, I put the kids to bed a little early. Then I had some extra time to read, clean the house, and just relax in peace. This is a really genius idea when it's been a long day for everyone, the kids are melting down, and mom is frazzled. Put them to bed early, then, go bust out a bottle of wine. You won't get any judgment from me.
4 Escaping To Work
I have been both a work-away-from-home mother, and a work-from-home mother, and I have to say, working out the home is an escape. Yes, you are still working, you aren't partying, or relaxing, and you are certainly not on vacation. But, you are on hiatus from your kids, and that is still a break. I think being away from your kids makes you miss them, it helps you to be more in the moment when you get home, because you haven't been with them all day. This has nothing to do with whether being a working mother is harder than being a stay-at-home-mom. They are both equally hard, in different ways. And yet, working out of the home is definitely an escape from the kids. Even if you just get a part-time job in the evenings or something, it can be really helpful to leave the house for even just a few hours, once or twice a week. It is a working break, but still a break.
3 Going For A Walk - A Very LONG Walk
Going for a walk is so much more beneficial than people realize. It's beneficial for everyone, really, but moms can truly get a lot from taking a daily walk. Not only are you getting exercise and a change of scenery, but you are getting quiet time for your mind to settle, for you to think, and for you to de-stress. The length of time of the walk can vary, but if you need an escape, consider walking. It gets the blood flowing, fresh air running through your system, and quiet time for the mind to reboot. This will only work if someone can watch the kids for a bit at the house, though. I'm not saying don't ever take your kids out for walks, I'm just saying the 'escape' factor would be lost if you bring the kids with you. You need time to not have to worry about someone else for a while. You need time to be worry free, even if only for a short while.
2 Girl's Night Out
Girl's Night Out is one of the best things a mom can do. All moms need to have friends outside of their family. They need to have people the can vent to, really be themselves with, and time to be a woman—not just a mom. When it comes to escaping from the kids, this is probably the most beneficial escape on the list. Girl's Night doesn't have to involve alcohol either. It can just be anything relaxing or fun that you can do with your girlfriends. Movies, painting parties, and shopping extravaganzas can all be fun things to do with your girlfriends. Don't neglect the woman inside, or you could lose her forever. You have to remember that your kids need more than just a shell of a person—a caregiver, they need you to be a person who has needs and desires, and they need to see how you balance all of that, so they can learn to balance their own lives.
1 Escaping Into Your Phone
And finally, we have another mental escape, rather than physical. I don't know about you, but Candy Crush can relax and decompress me pretty quick, and it's just a silly game. My kids can be making noise all around me, but I can get a mental break from all of that stress and worry, by focusing on something fun, simple, and distracting. Sometimes, we moms just need something that can get our brain distracted from all the worries of the day, from all the work that comes with being a mother, and from all the business going on in our minds. APPs and games on our phones can be a quick and easy way to give your brain a little break. It doesn't a have to be a game on your phone. It can also be a puzzle, adult coloring book, or other mental escape, but the phone is often carried with you wherever you go, so that's certainly the easiest. Don't underestimate the escape a quick little game can bring you.