Everything about pregnancy becomes worthwhile once your precious bundle of joy is finally in your arms, but that doesn’t mean that it was all smooth sailing leading up to that special moment. While pregnancy can sometimes feel like an overwhelming roller-coaster of emotion mixed with anxiety and constant lower back pain, giving birth comes with its own unique set of obstacles. Luckily for us ladies, we’ve been doing this whole childbirth thing for quite some time now, so we definitely aren’t alone when it comes to our birthing experiences.
While every woman’s experience during labor and delivery is unique, it’s comforting knowing that other moms can relate to all of the ups and downs that labor bestows upon us. Whether you’re nervous about delivery day or you just want to brush up your knowledge on the process, it’s therapeutic to hear what other women have gone through while giving birth. It’s especially refreshing when celebrities can keep it real about labor is really like. If you’re looking for a good laugh, here are some hilariously relatable descriptions of giving birth from some of our favorite stars.
10 Chrissy Teigen Dined On Lamb Chops While Watching Bravo
When it comes to keeping it real about motherhood, Chrissy Teigen always delivers. If you’ve done your research about birthing or have already been through the process before, you might recall the policy the hospital has about not eating anything during labor. While most moms-to-be painstakingly abide by the rules, Chrissy simply wasn’t having any of it.
The model and food aficionado confessed to Cosmopolitan, “I was so hungry, but you can only have soup in case you have to go into surgery. So I texted John [Legend] while he was performing and was like, ‘Please bring me something!’ He said all they have is rack of lamb. I was like, ‘Bring it to me!" My doctors are gonna hate me but I was eating lamb chops, popsicles, and watching Bravo.” After the arrival of her second child in 2018, Teigen took to Twitter to speak candidly about her postpartum recovery, stating, “I can confirm postpartum life is 90 percent better when you don't rip to your butthole". We all feel your pain, Chrissy!
9 Jenny McCarthy Gives Us The Scoop On Poop
After recognizing that so few people have publicly discussed the less than glamorous parts about giving birth, Jenny McCarthy made it her mission to share her completely uncensored experience with pregnancy. McCarthy went on to publish a hilarious self-help book for expectant moms called Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth, where she shed some light on some of labor’s messiest situations.
In her unabashed anecdote, Jenny confessed, “While I was pooping on the table during delivery I thought, 'Why don't women warn other women about this? I'm sh*tting in front of ten people while spread-eagle in stirrups!" Truer words have never been spoken.
8 Cameran Eubanks Wishes She Was Warned Before Giving Birth
As a new mom-to-be, you’re probably thinking you can never be too prepared when it comes to packing your hospital bag. It’s not uncommon for us to overthink and obsess over having absolutely everything “just in case” but the truth of the matter is that you really don’t need much to give birth. Southern Charm star Cameran Eubanks playfully vented her frustrations about overdoing it, stating, “I wish somebody would have told me that I didn't need to pack my whole house to go to the hospital. I had everything, you name it. I had the aromatherapy for the room, I had my little monogrammed robe, and you know what I used? My toothbrush.”
But Eubanks didn’t stop there. She further went on to discuss the immediate aftermath childbirth had on her nether regions, saying, “I wish somebody told me that I was going to become a baby myself. Not only would my child be wearing a diaper but I would be wearing a diaper as well.” This is about as real as it gets!
7 Ali Wong Got More Than She Bargained For
Some women might prefer to keep the intimate details of their birthing experience under wraps, but Ali Wong certainly isn’t one of them. The comedian even performed an entire Netflix stand-up special while seven months pregnant with her second child where she got down and dirty about what really happens in the delivery room.
Wong joked, “Nobody told me about all the crazy s*** that comes out after you give birth. You know what happens after the baby comes out? You know what else exits? Her house. Her living room, her pillows, the Bob Marley poster, all the food that went bad in her refrigerator for months.” While it may be true that few like discussing the harsh truths of afterbirth, at least there’s one celebrity who had no problem airing it all out.
6 Kate Hudson’s Mom Went Overboard In The Delivery Room
Kate Hudson has always been outspoken about how she underwent a C-section to deliver her first son, but before that became an option the actress revealed how crazy things had gotten in the delivery room thanks to her mom, Goldie Hawn.
Speaking to Ellen DeGeneres about the soon-to-be Grandma, Hudson stated, “She was like, 'OK, well, how much time do I have? Because I was going to take a swim'... I have not eaten in like 10 hours [and then] she shows up with a pizza and Doritos.” But wasn’t all. Kate went on to reveal that her mother tried to give her a visual analogy about what giving birth is like and let’s just say it didn’t go as well as she’d hoped. Hudson explained, “She [brought] a magnolia flower... she did visualizations with me. She told me, 'Imagine your va-jay-jay as a magnolia flower blossoming'." Cringe.
5 Jenni Farley’s Speedy Delivery Left Her Reeling
Jersey Shore star Jenni Farley is no stranger to sharing some of her most personal moments with millions of people, and the birth of her first child was no exception.
The reality personality didn’t hold back when asked about what she endured during labor, revealing, “I had an epidural, I went to bed, then the epidural wore off and when it wore off I was freaking out! I became 10 centimeters dilated and she was out in six to seven minutes so I had what's called rapid delivery. So from four to ten centimeters in less than an hour she was out. She like walked out, ran out and took everything with her. She came out so fast thankfully she didn't have a conehead!”
4 Nicole Polizzi Almost Couldn’t Bear The Pain
Much like her Jersey Shore BFF, Nicole Polizzi has no qualms about having her life play out while cameras are rolling. The star, better known as ‘Snooki’, gave birth to her first child in 2014 and said the pain was almost too much to handle. The reality star revealed, “It feels like there’s a million knives stabbing you in the uterus, and you just can’t do it. I am literally on all fours, in front of the TV — shaking my a** back and forth because I’m in so much pain. And I was just like, I can’t do this.”
Fortunately, everything worked out in the end, but the road to get to that point was a rocky one. Nicole continued, “Everything worked out. But the fact that I felt the contractions up to almost seven centimeters — holy crap”. Hopefully, Snooki will have more ridiculous and relatable birth stories in the near future - she's currently expecting baby number three!
3 Kristen Bell And Her Husband Both Find The Humor In Giving Birth
Kristen Bell has always been pretty open when it comes to talking about the joys of motherhood, so it’s no surprise that she made a few jokes at her own expense during an interview with Ellen DeGeneres. The actress spoke about the amazing effects the epidural had on her, saying, “It was kind of a wonderful experience for me. While they were doing it, I actually thought, what else could we get done down there? Maybe lengthen the shins? I've always wanted to be like 5 ft 7 in. Just anything to keep the epidural flowing."
Although Bell had a rosy perception of her birthing experience, her husband Dax Shepard recounted a much more harrowing experience of their daughter’s birth. The actor told Ellen, “There's a sheet, and then [doctors] go, 'The baby's here,' and then you peek around the sheet, and they're lifting out the baby — but then you notice your wife is completely disassembled. I can see inside of her. I was like, 'It's a girl! Your liver's out, I think! And those are definitely intestines. And she has your eyes. Oh, my God, put her back together correctly!”
2 Tina Fey Almost Gave Birth In The Back Of A Taxi
Remember that scene in Look Who’s Talking where Kirstie Alley’s character was moments away from giving birth in a taxi during her mad dash to the hospital? It might seem a little crazy, but that was almost Tina Fey’s reality when she went into labor with her daughter, Alice. The former SNL star revealed that her birth initially didn’t go according to plan and that she tried to combat painful contractions while making her way to the delivery room.
“I ended up on all fours in the back of a taxi,” revealed the actress, before saying that overall her experience was a positive one. Things got super relatable when Fey revealed that everything was fine once she got an epidural, saying, “I always knew I wanted an epidural. I am not a daredevil. I had lived a drug-free life until that moment. I had never done any recreational drugs, and I felt like I had saved them all up for the moment when that baby was coming."
1 Seth Meyers’ Wife Gave Birth In The Lobby Of Their Apartment Building
When it comes to giving birth one thing is for certain: always be prepared to expect the unexpected. That is exactly what could be said for Seth Meyers and his wife, Alexi Ashe. While preparing for arrival of their second child last year, the Late Night host revealed that his wife ended up giving birth in the lobby of their NYC apartment building.
Shortly after Meyers called for an Uber to head to the hospital, Meyers explained that they were already too late, saying, “We're in the lobby and we're walking down the steps and my wife just says, 'I can't get in the car. I'm going to have the baby right now, the baby is coming.” In a matter of moments, Ashe told her husband that the baby was already out. Meyers described that his wife “looked like someone who was hiding a baby in a pair of sweatpants”. Despite the unconventional circumstances, both mom and baby were happy and healthy. However, Seth later revealed the most absurd part of the birth story: the Uber still charged the couple for their missed ride. How rude!