The last few days, I've taken a bit of a negative bent on my "How To Baby" series. Let's lighten it up - this one is going to delve into some of the sweetest stuff of life. Hole onto your hats, mamas. Grab some tissues. We're about to cut so many onions.
Knowing You're Ready
I remember the moment I knew that I needed to start seriously considering whether or not I wanted to bear children - and when. It was early December - my OB informed me that I had PCOS, and showed me how my ultrasound showed two bump-laden ovaries all swollen and puffy-like. This is what it looks like when an egg implodes during development. Frantically, I started researching everything I could find about PCOS. That's how I learned about the Keto diet. And it's also the moment I learned that PCOS is the leading cause of infertility in women.
Hard questions don't get any easier when you're an adult. I used to think that growing up meant you would know the answers to things - but really it's the weight of knowing that there are even more unanswered questions. I wrestled with this idea - yes, it was nearly a year ahead of our "schedule" - did I want to broach the topic of possibly trying for kids *now*? Was I even ready to have a baby, if we could get pregnant? Heck - was I emotionally stable enough to handle a miscarriage?
Eventually, I came to the realization that there's really no such thing as "ready" for any of this. You just have to decide to take the leap of faith - or you don't. Not deciding is still making a decision.
After a few months of regulating my body and health through diet and exercise, I started to feel like our hopes for biological children might not be so slim. I went out on errands one day, and found myself imagining a future where I was having a conversation with my own eight-year-old from the backseat. It was the first time I'd really vividly envisioned my life as a mother to children - to just to a baby. In this vision, I had at least two kids in a *gulp* van - and I had just picked up said 8-year-old from school. Hey, I know - it's just my imagination running wild with a daydream. But that moment - it was sweet. Blissful. I'll remember it forever. And when I have an eight-year-old talking to me from my back seat, I'll smile and feel my heart melt into a tiny mom-puddle a thousand times over.
Other women also remember the moment they realized they wanted to become a parent with fondness. There's something about the gravity of the decision - knowing you're choosing to roll the proverbial dice come what may. One mom even said realizing she wanted to have kids was a huge moment of growing up.
"I've had to put aside my selfishness, and learn things like patience, organization, cooking, multi tasking, responsibility. I've enjoyed the way they've made me grow up! I just turned 29 last week and was reflecting on how much better I like the person I am now than the person I was before kids, and I really think they had a lot to do with it."
Did you have a moment of realization that you wanted to pursue parenthood? Did you decide to try to get pregnant? Or adopt? Is the memory a vivid one? Tell me you experience on Twitter @pi3sugarpi3.