I Know It Is Supposed To Be Beautiful But I Hate Breastfeeding

Sadly I was not able to nurse my first child. He was seriously tongue-tied and couldn't latch onto anything. He even struggled to drink from bottles. We had to do fast flow nipples to even get him to drink.

I told the pediatrician and I was told: "every first-time mom thinks that their child is tongue-tied when they can't nurse." It was so rude! I had to pump for him which was very exhausting. I ended up being right! He did have a tongue and lip tie and had to get it fixed at four years old because it was messing up his speech and teeth.

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I was very excited when my second baby was born and he immediately latched. I was so excited to not have to pump as I did with my first. I felt like it was going to be so much better. I was told how beautiful and natural breastfeeding was and how you get to bond and connect with your child more than any other activity. So, I do think it is cool. I think it is cool that my body creates food for my child that gives them all the nutrients that they need to grow big and strong. Breast milk really is amazing! It really is extraordinary what the woman's body can accomplish.

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With all of that said, I don't really like breastfeeding. With each child, I have had a couple of bouts of mastitis. I am an over producer and I never can really empty, so I get lumps and infections. Then I leak so much. I have to constantly wear nursing pads at all times for about a year. If I don't wear nursing pads then I will leak through my clothes.

Whenever I take a bath I am taking a milk bath because my milk just drips into the tub. My water is completely murky. Whenever I let down my nipples burn and sting.  It is the worst when I am in the middle of a conversation and I have to continue talking without letting people know that my nipples feel like they are going to explode.

One of the hardest parts about nursing is that I get hypoglycemic. I constantly have to eat handfuls of chocolate to keep my blood sugar up. If I don't eat something, then I feel sick to my stomach and feel light-headed. If I don't eat something with a lot of sugar and carbs in it while I nurse, then I don't feel very well. A lot of times while I am nursing it is filled with me just trying to stay awake and not get dizzy.

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It's not like I am against breastfeeding or anything. I breastfed my babies until they were about 18 months and I am currently breastfeeding my newborn. I will give my children all of the food that they need. But I will not miss breastfeeding when that time is done. I will not miss feeding children around the clock with my body. I will not miss how I feel as I breastfeed. I will not miss not being able to leave my kids for more than 2 hours in case they get hungry. I want to give props to all the women who love breastfeeding but that is not me!

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