So many women dream of becoming mothers, but are they ready? Having a baby changes everything and women need to ask themselves some tough questions before they decide to take the plunge. Are they mature enough? Are they financially able to care for babies? These two questions just scratch the surface.
When a woman is self-aware, and has the right answers to the hardest questions, she'll be ready to make her dream of being a mother come true. While there's no perfect time to have a baby, women who do these twenty things may want to make some changes to their lifestyles before they get pregnant. When they embrace change, they'll be preparing properly for motherhood. When a woman is her best self before she becomes pregnant, she'll have so much to offer to a child.
Being a mom is about more than giving love to a baby. It's also about creating a safe and secure nest for a little one, and making sure that the baby's need take priority over everything else. Motherhood is challenging, but amazing. Women who don't do these twenty things will probably find it easier to rise to the challenge.
While women definitely don't have to be perfect to great Moms, they do need to sidestep some pitfalls, and we're going to talk about these pitfalls today.
20 She Spends Too Much Money
Babies are expensive. In Canada, the cost of paying for baby-related expenses during an infant's first year generally ranges between twelve thousand and fourteen thousand bucks, according to a Globalnews.ca report. While some parents spend less, there are a lot of costs, some of which are difficult to anticipate.
If you're currently spending a lot of money on yourself and your lifestyle, and you're not too stoked about changing your ways, you may want to wait to have a baby. The "shopaholic" lifestyle, plus motherhood, may result in major debt and big financial stress. Women who are thinking about breeding should take an honest look at their finances and spending habits.
19 She Hits The Clubs
Everyone needs to blow off steam sometimes, and going to nightclubs is one way to do it. Dancing and people-watching at clubs is fun, but women who visit clubs regularly may not be ready to have kids. The club-hopping lifestyle is incompatible with motherhood, so women who live the party girl life will need to give up their regular trips to clubs when they become parents, unless they have money for night nurses and other helpers.
Newborns need feedings every two to three hours, according to Kidshealth.org. Moms need to be on duty to nurse or give bottles to their babies.
18 She Is Addicted To Social Media
Social media is fun, but it can be an addiction, too. Women who are overly reliant on social media, such as Facebook, place too much importance on getting "likes", comments and shares. We all know that social media isn't completely real. People tend to present versions of themselves which are not 100% realistic. Part of being mature is understanding that social media is theater.
Social media addiction may be a sign that a woman hasn't reached the level of maturity needed to care for a baby. According to Netaddiction.com, two signs of Facebook addiction include thinking about Facebook frequently when not using it, and using the social network to forget about life issues.
17 She Quits Jobs Regularly
A woman may plan to stop working after she has a baby, but many women these days have to work, at least part-time, in order to handle typical living expenses, plus the new expenses that caring for babies bring.
In the USA, 61.9 percent of "married couple" families are families where both spouses work, according to Bls.gov. Of course, there's one-parent families too, and single mothers typically need to work a lot to make ends meet.
If you have a tendency to quit jobs when the going gets tough, you may find that the financial pressures of parenthood are crushing. Stable employment is something that most women need when they become mothers.
16 She Loses Her Temper A Lot
Some women are wired with hotter tempers than others. If you know that you have a short fuse, you may want to work on your anger issues before you take on the responsibility of caring for a baby. Caring for newborns is hard work and it can be scary at times. Most moms report anxiety, because they want to do everything right and aren't sure that they are doing so.
A screaming baby may push a woman with a bad temper over the edge and that's dangerous.
According to Raisingarizonakids.com, five percent of mothers end up shaking their babies. Many of them were angry or super-stressed when they did so. Shaking babies is the worst thing mothers can do.
15 Eats A Lot Of Junk Food
When you're taking care of a new baby, you'll need to fuel your body with real nutrition, rather than a lot of empty calories. Before you have a baby, you'll also need to ensure that you eat well, for your baby's sake.
If you have a junk food habit, don't beat yourself up about it, but try to make some changes. It's possible that you're using junk food to medicate yourself. "Bad" food can feel so good when we're stressed. You may also be eating junk food because you're busy and don't have time for meal prep. Eat healthier before you attempt to get pregnant. A healthy diet may boost fertility, according to Parents.com.
14 she Compares Herself To Other Women
A woman with a strong sense of self isn't going to spend her precious time comparing herself to other women. She's going to value herself by loving herself, regardless of what her peers are doing. If you find that you compare yourself to other women a lot, whether they are friends, co-workers or celebrities, and the process of comparison makes you insecure, you may want to find ways to improve your self-esteem before you have a baby.
A baby isn't going to solve every problem that you have. It's better to be a in good place with yourself before you become a mother. According to Psychologytoday.com, comparing oneself with others is detrimental to self-esteem.
13 She Looks For A Lot Of Attention
Attention-seeking and motherhood do not go hand in hand. While lots of mothers, such as the Kardashians, continue to seek out attention after they have kids, you may not want to be a Kardashian-style Mom.
Moms who are mature tend to put themselves second when they have children. They give their kids attention and don't feel the need to get attention by taking tons of selfies and posting them online or through their style of dress, or whatever.
According to Psychologytoday.com, adults who are attention-seekers tend to crave drama and drama isn't good for kids. Getting out of the habit of seeking attention is smart, before you decide to bring a baby into your life.
12 She Doesn’t Enjoy Taking Care Of Other People’s Kids
Women who don't really love looking after other people's kids may not be ready for motherhood yet. It's true that taking care of one's one child is not at all the same as baby-sitting other kids, but still. A woman who is considering becoming a Mom should enjoy being with babies and children. Some women enjoy children more than others. Motherhood shouldn't be a chore; it should be something that is a joy.
According to Globalnews.ca, some women who flat-out don't want kids get shamed by others and they don't deserve that treatment. They are listening to their inner voices. Listen to yours, too.
11 She Gives Her Partner Most Of Her Time
If you're a big-time clinger when it comes to your partner, you may want to ask yourself why you need to be with your significant other so much. Will you change when you have a baby, or will you wish that you had more time for date nights and general romance, like you did before you became a parent?
Parenthood changes relationships. Sometimes, relationships suffer and sometimes, they get stronger. You'll need to deal with either outcome, because you'll be responsible for a baby and that's more important than your love life. According to Fortune.com, people who are married and have kids report twice the amount of relationship dissatisfaction than couples who don't have kids.
10 She Has Some Serious Bad Habits
If you have some vices, such as substance use or reliance on wine, beer and cocktails, you should address your bad habits and get rid of them before you become a parent. There are children who have to grow up with addicts and it's not exactly a skip in the park for them. It's rough and often leaves lasting scars.
According to Psychcentral.com, kids who have parents with addiction problems often have the sense of living in "war zones". That's the last thing that a child deserves while he or she grows up. So, get help and then prepare to become a mother.
9 She Places A Priority On Personal Freedom
Freedom is very important to some women. They want to be able to travel on a moment's notice, or go hiking for days in the wilderness, or just be alone sometimes, to read or reflect. Parenthood doesn't leave a lot of time for personal freedom, especially during the first year of a baby's life. Most time will be given to baby care. Some women may chafe at the restrictions and these types of women should think about how they will feel when they are mothers and they're not able to do what they please all of the time. According to Elle.com, motherhood leads to new identity. Be sure you are ready for that change.
8 She Wonders If She’s Ready To Be A Parent Or Not
Women who are ready for motherhood tend to not doubt themselves. They know that they want babies. They dream of having babies and taking care of them. If you don't have that single-minded desire to be mother, you may be rushing into things before you're truly ready. Sometimes, the ticking of our biological clocks leads us to worry that we haven't had babies yet, and to plan for babies before we are ready for them emotionally, according to Forbes.com.
When doubts arise, analyze them carefully. What's making your doubt that you're ready? It may be a valid concern that you should pay attention to.
7 She Tries To Keep Up With The Joneses
Women who are consumed with keeping up with their neighbours and peers may lack maturity. While we all want to be successful, and be to considered successful, real success is not about driving the latest luxury car or having the right living room furniture. It's not about the labels on the clothes in our closets. It's about happiness.
Keeping up with the Joneses is expensive and women sometimes go into debt to do it. According to Psychcentral, women shouldn't spend their time looking at the lives of others and competing with them. Try to get rid of this mindset before you become a mother.
6 She Wonders If She’s Too Young To Be A Mother
How young is too young to be a mother? Most of us have watched Teen Mom and felt compassion as very young women came to terms with being parents. We watched them miss out on social activities because they needed to be with their babies. If you feel like you might be too young to have a baby, listen to yourself. There's plenty of time and you don't need to rush things. A woman can be a great Mom at any age. It may be easier to be a good Mom when you've lived a bit first. According to Psychologytoday.com, motherhood is harder for women aged 20 and younger. It often brings financial and emotional challenges.
5 She Worries About What A Baby Will Do To Her Figure
Women who are very body-conscious may have anxiety when they think about what pregnancy and childbirth will do to their bodies. This is natural, but it shouldn't be the first thing that a woman focuses on when she's preparing to have a baby.
A Dailymail.co.uk story showed six Moms who were open about the changes to their post-baby bodies. These women were confident enough to let other women know that childbirth does alter the female figure.
If you're worried about your figure, ask yourself if you're ready to be a Mom. Would you rather have a few more years with your current body? Having a child will change your body a bit, or a lot.
4 She Does Extreme Sports Or Takes Other Risks
Some women are risk-takers. They love to push the envelope in terms of life experiences and they aren't afraid to ride motorcycles, climb mountains or whatever. They want to push themselves and enjoy floods of adrenaline. If you're wired to seek out extreme experiences, you may put yourself at risk sometimes.
When you become a parent, you may continue to take risks, which put your baby at risk of losing his Mom. According to Xgames.espn.com, there are moms who take big risks by doing extreme sports, but their kids may worry a lot about them. Do you want your child to have to worry?
3 She Wants Kids When Her Partner Really Doesn’t
There are lots of women who want babies when their partners don't. Most women feel a biological pull to reproduce and they may have trouble finding partners who are on the same page. If you know that your partner isn't into being a Dad, it may not be the right time to get pregnant. If you do get pregnant, you may end up being resented by your significant other. There may be another man out there for you who does want what you want.
According to the Sun.co.uk, some guys don't want to lose their identities by becoming "daddies". There are lots of reasons why a man might not want children.
2 She Thinks Of Babies As Accessories
Women who consider babies accessories may want children as status symbols. This is not the right attitude to have before becoming a mother. A child is not a Birkin bag, or a pair of chic Jimmy Choos! A child is a person of his or her own. Women who consider babies accessories have some issues to work through before they are ready to become Moms. They are not wanting babies for the right reasons. According to Thewashingtonian.com, women who have babies as accessories often rely on outside help to raise their kids, and then parade their children around to make themselves look good. Don't fall into this trap.
1 She Is Trying To Avoid Loneliness
No one wants to be lonely, but a mother who's alone with a screaming baby in the middle of the night may feel like the loneliest person in the world. A baby will be a wonderful companion, but you should have other ways to feel complete. You shouldn't rely on your baby to fill up all of the empty spaces in your psyche. Try to build a happy life before you get pregnant, rather than expecting everything to get rosier once you're a mom. According to Scarymommy.com, some moms don't feel as good after having babies as they did beforehand. Parenthood may not be the answer like you think, so make sure you're ready.
References: Globalnews.ca, Kidshealth.org, Netaddiction.com, Bls.gov, Parents.com, Psychologytoday.com, Fortune.com, Psychcentral.com, Elle.com, Forbes.com, Sun.co.uk, Thewashingtonian.com,