I'm Leaving My Kid On The Curb. Someone Come Get Him.

So much screaming. Today was so much screaming. Everyone was upset, no one was having a good time. My baby is teething - she's literal hours from a top tooth finally breaking through. I cannot imagine how much that must hurt, so she has my sympathy. My toddler, on the other hand, has just decided it's time to be a handful. For no apparent reason today, he had a full-blown meltdown when I left to run an errand. His dad had to pick him up and drag him away kicking and screaming. Well, I guess the reason is apparent: he's in the throes of the terrible twos. What's fine one day is basically his worst nightmare the nest. Yesterday he waved "bye bye!" to me as I left the house. Today? He screamed so loud I'm sure the neighbors think we're the worst parents ever.

It didn't get better as the day wore on. My husband bravely tacked bath-time while I was out running errands. I came home to find a bottle of Excedrin Migraine on his computer desk. Apparently our toddler has developed a serious aversion to the tub, even though it used to be his favorite thing. We've gone from "How long has he been in the tub?" to "Just rinse him off as quickly as possible to make the screaming stop!"

These are the days when I consider dropping him off at a friend's house with snacks and hightailing it out of there. Or, as my friend JD puts it, "I'm going to leave my toddler by the side of the road. Curb alert: Free Toddler!" I'd add, "Comes with impressive set of lungs. Earplugs not included."

Look, I love my kids. I don't actually want to set them on the curb like the recycling. But I swear to you, there are days where I am at the end of my rope. Days where I pray for nap-time to come sooner. Days where I just give up and turn on hours of Blippi. Thankfully, that's not most days. But I know that some kids push their parents like this every single minute and I have so much respect for those moms and dads. I'm not entirely sure how they do it without losing their good sense, but they're basically superheroes in the family universe.

Because my own kids have misbehaved in ways that are embarrassing - that set me on edge - the bang on every single one of my anxiety drums - I don't even blink when I see a toddler tantrumming (not a real world but it should be) in the middle of Wal-Mart. I might wink at the adult standing silently behind them, head in their hands. Been there. You'll make it. Somehow (almost) all of us make it through in one raggedy piece. And our kids do, too.

Days like today I have to remind myself that my kids are testing my boundaries because they want to know where the lines are drawn. It's not even intentional on their part - it's deeply subconscious - and I have to be the rocks against which they crash in wave after wave after wave. I cannot yield. But being that rock is so tiring sometimes. There really are days where I just want to run away to a quiet place for a long weekend alone.

Today was one of the days.


Have you ever wanted to kick your kid out of your house? Lie to me, tell me this gets easier. @pi3sugarpi3 on Twitter. 

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