Sometimes a woman knows right off the bat when she is ready to become a mother. Maybe she has been dreaming of that day since she was a little girl, and then in her twenties it all falls into place. Other times it is not so clear. She may not have met the right partner. She may want to establish herself in her career first. She may think in seeing many of her friends having babies that it may not be for her after all. There is not one magical age that every woman is ready to become a Mom. Some are ready in their thirties, forties, and sometimes it even happens in their fifties.
Having babies is kind of like everything else in life. It is unique and very individual according to the woman herself. She should not feel any pressure from any outside forces, whether that is family, a partner, friends or society. She needs to make her own choices when it comes to having a baby and when she could have that baby. A woman needs to remember that it is her body that will be carrying this baby and bringing him/her into the world. She needs to make the choice on timing when it feels like a good time for her. Things to look at are her energy, health, and overall well-being. Of course, there are pros and cons to having a baby at any age. What are they? Here are 15 arguments concerning if there is a perfect age to get pregnant.
13 Older Moms Are More Settled In Their Relationship
Older Moms are typically in a better place personally in their lives and in general in their relationships with their partners. The older most of us get, the closer we get to finding out who we truly are. We also care less about what others think and expect, and love ourselves more for who we truly are inside and out. Our partners feel the same about themselves and generally about us, too. As we age and approach middle age, we tend to not want to waste time worrying about frivolous things and people. We are like that in all areas of our life. This is a positive thing to bring to parenthood, and often older parents will parent from this perspective and life knowledge. Their child will get parents who perhaps have less physical energy, but can offer more life experience in general to parenting. As they know themselves more and what they want, they can help their child learn that in their life.
12 Younger Moms Have More Patience
Patience. It's a virtue as the saying goes, and this virtue happens more easily for younger Moms who have more energy to begin with (most of the time), can go on less sleep, and better handle the physical demands of young parenthood and after. They can also handle the stress of the ups and downs of parenting in an easier way. They end up having more patience due to their higher energy levels. Sometimes if the woman just has a more relaxed attitude to begin with, this will also help her in being more patient and having more of an easier time with her baby and future babies. This means that what she lacks in life experience, she will have in energy and playing with her children as well as doing fun physical games with them. A Mom of any age can do family sports, but the more patient and energetic she is, the more she can have fun sledding, skating, skiing, playing ball or other physical games with her child at a park or elsewhere.
11 Chances Are Higher In Her Twenties
Many women are unsure in their twenties if they want to have any children or are emotionally prepared. After all, this is a big step and change in their life that will alter the course of everything else. However, physically time is on their side to conceive quicker in their twenties. A woman has approximately a 20% percent chance each month of getting pregnant when she has unprotected intercourse. She does not have a greater or less chance of conceiving at age 20 for example as at age 28. In her twenties, her chances appear good for conceiving relatively quickly. She also has less of a chance of birth defects and only a 9.5% risk of miscarriage. This is the lowest her risk rate will ever be. The difficulties of conceiving in this age category is that a lot of women are not emotionally ready to settle down and have children and/or want to build a career. This is a personal choice and a woman still can afford to delay children a little longer if she wants to do this.
10 Chances Are Lower In Her Thirties
Choosing to have a baby in her thirties, particularly if it is in the early thirties, may be a good compromise for health safety as well as being a little more stable in her career and relationship. Obviously after 30, her risk of miscarriage as well as birth complications does go up, but this only happens gradually. If she will need IVF treatments her chances of success are higher than a woman who is 40 and older. The success rate for IVF in the 30-35 age range and is 25 to 28 percent. After that the success rate drops from 6-8 percent. Caesarian sections also go up for women in this age category. The pros of having a baby now though, is that many women (whether in a relationship or not), feel more confident in themselves, still have a lot of energy, and are in a more financially stable time of their life. It may be a win/win for most to have a baby at this time.
9 Chances Significantly Drop In Her Fourties
In her 40’s, obviously risk factors for genetic abnormalities are high and risk of miscarriage, too. The chances of becoming pregnant are lower. Only about one percent of women conceive and the chances of becoming pregnant after 40 years old drops. The good news is that many women are able to deliver babies healthy into their forties if they are in good physical health. It is just harder to conceive due to having less eggs. If a woman is in good health though things will most likely go well. The one common difficulty is with tiredness that women in their forties tend to complain about whether it is their first child or their second. Then they have another young child to care for which presents challenges. Though she is more prone to physical issues like hemorrhoids or sagging skin or breasts, emotionally she is at a good point in her life.
8 Older Moms Likely To Be More Financially Secure
Another advantage to being an older Mom is that she is financially in a more secure place. She has most likely worked since her early to mid-twenties, and if she has been saving and taking care of investing her money and living reasonably, she can well afford supporting a baby and then some. She will have job security in that she will have a job to go back to that will support her, her partner and her child, so the financial pressure will be off. Unexpected expenses that children incur will not faze her or her partner due to not having financial issues to begin with. She will be able to start saving for baby’s education and have a little less to worry about as a result. Her partner, if she has one, will also not feel the pinch as they most likely will have money and stability at a job.
7 Younger Moms Have More Energy
Younger Moms may not have as much money saved up yet or life experience, but they sure as heck beat middle-aged or older Moms when it comes to physical energy levels. Similarly to young women who can cram for exams and pull all nighter with studying then go out late with friends the next night, a young mother can be up several times in the night with her baby feeding and changing him/her, and still function well the next day when it comes to alertness and work at home or at an outside job. This is the advantage of a young age. With age and time our physical energy wanes, so an interrupted night of sleep or several will hit a woman in her thirties or forties harder than a woman in her twenties. This boost of energy will help her when she is playing and talking with her baby too. She will be able to do more physically engaging play and games.
6 Older Moms Can Expose Children To More
It is not always the case, but often older women who give birth have often traveled and seen more of the world in their younger years, whether for business, pleasure, or both. They can offer this type of life experience to their future child as they will have seen a little more of the world than a young Mom. She has not had the time or money to travel as well as the opportunity at a job if she has just started out there. With the extra tiredness an older Mom will feel during pregnancy and in baby’s earlier years, she will be able to share many more interesting stories with them about traveling, different people and cultures, and teach them from this unique perspective. It’s not a bad thing if a young Mom has not traveled. She will most likely experience things alongside her child and they will be learning together.
5 She Should Wait Until It Feels Right
No matter if family, friends and medical professionals have good intentions, giving advice to a woman about conception may not be in her best interests. In the end, the choice to get pregnant must rest with the woman herself. She is the one who will be living with her decision for the rest of her life. She will also be the one raising this baby to adulthood, and if she is resentful or uncertain about her choice, her child will feel that. It is a terrible burden for the woman and the child to bear. That is why it is important that a woman knows all her options about child bearing at all ages as well as the risks and benefits, but that she make the choice that works for her body and life at any given time. She needs to feel deep in her gut as much as one can feel ready, that having a child is the right thing for her (and if she has a partner), to do.
4 Older Moms Are More Confident
Barring aside risks in pregnancy and more side effects to her physical body afterwards, older Moms have one advantage on their younger counterparts - parenting from a place of confidence and a different life perspective. What does this mean? Well, it is a fact that the longer we live, the more we learn from our past mistakes and triumphs. It shapes our life perspective, and helps form our world view in our immediate family and in the world at large. Parenting from a smaller world view in one’s twenties will be a lot more different than parenting in the late thirties and up. A woman will have experienced more personally in all her relationships, professionally at work, and will know herself more as a whole person. This will affect how she parents and what kind of mom she will be. Many older Moms may not have as much physical energy, but have more patience for some of the trials their children put them through. They have experienced more trials and difficult points in their life and can parent with more empathy often towards their children.
3 Banking Her Eggs
Then there is another option which many women who are not sure about baby readiness are considering: banking their eggs for a future pregnancy. It has been long known that younger eggs or eggs in a younger woman will be healthier. She will have less risk of a baby being born with a genetic disorder or having a miscarriage. Some women may not be sure if they want to have a baby at 30 or 40 or beyond. This way, her chances of conceiving through IVF would be potentially easier, especially if she is using younger eggs. There may be issues with her partner’s sperm if he is older, but that will not necessarily be the case. Obviously after 40 her chances of conceiving even with younger eggs are lower than if she was 35 or under, but the good news is that she will have an option to conceive as an older woman than if she was solely relying on her eggs at that time of her life.
2 Older Couples Have More Flexibility
Once again, older couples have had plenty of time alone together as a couple, and have had a lot of experiences to tide them over for when a little one comes into their lives and pretty much throws everything up in the air. They will have the necessary patience in most cases, to allow for a baby’s complete reversal of their life, lifestyle, and anything else that they have ever known. The reversal is usually for the better as they are ready to change their life completely and have had their fill of adult-only experiences. And even if this does take them by surprise, they can reason that they had their personal and couple time before baby, and now things have changed. Of course baby will grow up and need them less, and then their relationship will take on a new life and some alone couple time will begin to happen again.
1 Does She Want Other Children?
Finally, a last but very important question for all women to consider when thinking of having a baby: Does she want more than one child? This will affect when she will begin trying most likely. With the chances of conception going down in a woman’s mid 30’s, if she decides she wants two children, she may consider trying for a first baby in her mid to late twenties, early thirties at the latest. If she waits for her early thirties thinking she can still have another child, it may happen or it may not. As well, if she decides one child will be enough, then postponing childbearing until her thirties or forties may be alright. Some women have the choice made for them too. They don’t feel the need to have a baby until later in life, or don't meet their "one" until later in life, so when they do conceive they are only able due to age to have one child.
There are the 15 arguments for the perfect age to get pregnant. In the end, the choice rests with one particular woman and her one particular choice. She is the one whose life will be forever changed by the miracle of a baby, and she needs to make sure it is the right choice for her and her future baby.
Sources: BabyCenter.com, Parents.com, Parenting.com