Jade Roper Tolbert didn't like the term "Rainbow Baby" after her miscarriage.
What does it mean when mother's use the term, "rainbow baby?" A Rainbow baby refers to a miracle baby that is born after a loss, whether a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss. The term "rainbow" is supposed to refer to the beautiful that appears after a rain storm. Losing a pregnancy, or a child, is the worst rainstorm. When you have a rainbow it doesn't make that rainstorm less hard, but then you get a little present after the rainstorm. It a common term that most parents have embraced. All parents except for Jade Roper Tolbert after she had a miscarriage.
Tolbert said that she didn't like the term "rainbow baby" when she lost her child. Tolbert had a horrible miscarriage. She announced to the world that she would be expecting her first child and they were all so excited. However, she then ultimately lost that baby in a miscarriage and it was such a traumatic experience. Tolbert was able to get pregnant with her daughter Emerson. She said “Why would I want to attach something so traumatic to someone completely pure and perfect? I didn’t want that label on [Emmy] when I felt she deserved her own individuality, her own presence, her own mark in this world.” Tolbert just didn't understand how people could call their babies "rainbows" because it would just remind her of the tragic event that occurred.
Although Tolbert spent most of Emerson's life never calling her "rainbow baby" and being completley confused as to why anybody would use that term. When Emerson was 19 months old, Tolbert said that they experienced a terrible rain storm. It was a crazy storm and then after the storm appeared a rainbow. Tolbert looked at the rainbow and she finally understood why people used the term to describe their children after losses. Tolbert wrote on Instagram, "for the first time my heart softened and understood. That something so beautiful can forge its way after something so scary and dark is a miracle in itself.”
After that day that she saw the rainbow with her daughter Emerson, she smiles every time she sees another rainbow. She says rainbows now make her extremely happy. Tolbert believes that the rainbow is her other child shining dim lights into her heart that are still healing. She said that she probably won't ever refer to her daughter as her "rainbow" but she finally understands why other parents find comfort in the term.