Jordana Brewster is opening up about her journey with a surrogate and how it made her feel “ashamed.” The journey to becoming a mother can be long for some, and everyone travels a different path to reach motherhood. Some conceive and carry naturally, some require fertility treatments and procedures, some adopt and some use a surrogate.

While every journey is beautiful and unique, some are more spoken about than others. The use of a surrogate is not so frequently spoken about, which is what may make it nice to hear a celebrity open up about their journey, whether good or bad.

Jordana Brewster recently opened up about she felt “ashamed” to use a surrogate to have a child, according to Today and People. While her story may not be expected, it is valid. There may be mothers out there who feel the same but are not as willing to speak out their truth.

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The topic came about when Jordana was having a conversation with a friend of hers about taking maternity leave when the baby came. She said that she didn’t feel the need to take time off back in 2013 when her first child was born, simply because she had not carried the pregnancy. When her friend told her that she should take maternity leave, she didn’t see why she should and thought that she should just go back to work.

She went on to say that she was punishing herself for a choice that was out of her control. The choice to use a surrogate was not one that Jordana made willingly. She and her husband, Andrew Form, tried several IVF attempts and they all failed. They then decided to use surrogacy to start a family. She said that while it was a beautiful thing, she struggled with it due to her feelings of shame.

Jordana said that she constantly felt judged for using a surrogate, and part of that may be due to her status in Hollywood. She said that she thought people assumed that she was using a surrogate to “avoid” being pregnant and gaining weight. Since she must have a lot of money, she went the “easy way.”

She also said that she constantly felt like she needed to justify her choice, even though no one ever asked her about it. While it has been a journey, Jordana says that she has let all of that go, and she is celebrating the beautiful life she has worked hard to create.

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Sources: Today, People