1. Looks like he has all his senses intact!
"The other day my 6-year-old said, 'Mom, I don’t like all five senses of bananas. I don’t like to taste them. I don’t like to smell them. I don’t like to see them. I don’t like to feel them.' 'And you don’t like to hear people eat them?' I asked. 'I don’t even like to hear people talk about them!' he said. I guess he really doesn’t like bananas!"
2. They definitely have a good grasp of the English language!
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3. If only Abraham Lincoln had listened to this brilliant piece of advice!
4. Sigh. Nobody understands the great artists!
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5. Apparently butts don't lie!
6. Those are some keen observation skills.
At the pool my little sister asked, ‘How does that rope stop the deep water from going in the shallow water?’”
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7. Someone's going to become an awesome accountant!
8. Hey c'mon, every mom needs an Ellen break!
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9. Hey, a boy's gotta say what a boy's gotta say!
10. Yes obviously puppies and babies can get mixed up.
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11. Wait, isn't that what hard water is called?!
12. A budding horror movie director of the future!
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13. If only all children were so HAVED.
Mom: “Victoria! Behave!” Victoria: “I AM BEING HAVED!”
14. What gave the kid away?
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15. Sniff. Who needs good spelling skills when you have a great heart!
16. Now this wasn't the baby's fault!
“Our toddler threw his spoon on the floor and said, ‘I want a fuckin’ knife.’ My wife and I were shocked until we realized he was actually saying, ‘I want a fork and knife.’”
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17. An honest kid is always a good kid!
18. Good manners at work.
At the store a little kid in front of me farted really loudly. The mom said, ‘What do you say?’ and he’s like ‘THAANK YOUUUU.’”
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19. Always looking out for mom.
20. Second favorite teachers are still the best!
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21. A beardy chest. Shudder!
My niece saw me take off my shirt and, pointing at my chest, asked, ‘How come you got a beard on there?’”
22. Now why didn't God think of that?!
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23. Getting love advice from God! Now that's something
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25. That's a proactive health approach, right there!
Dad: “Do you want Fruit Loops for dinner?” Son: “NO! That isn’t dinner cereal.”
26. And we all love Hores, oops, Horses!
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27. And then there were babies. Almond babies.
"The absolute most hilarious thing my daughter ever said was when she was around 2 years old. Myself, being a vegan, I wasn't crazy about the idea of her drinking cow's milk, so I tried one day to introduce her to almond milk. I told her, 'Cow's milk is for baby cows, not people, so I want you to try this almond milk and see if you like it.' My little 2-year-old answered back, 'Is that what baby almonds drink?'"