We spend a lot of time talking about the changes that motherhood puts women through. From trying to conceive to pregnancy to birth and beyond, we’ve covered every topic a new mother could ever hope to read about. Just one thing: we almost forgot about our men. Don’t worry, daddies. We’ve got you.
Men go through all of these changes right alongside their ladies. They are anxious to get pregnant, too. They are worried all throughout that pregnancy about how life will change at the end of it, and whether or not the baby will be okay and have all their toes. They worry about their little girls growing up and being chased by boys — boys that are just like they were when they were sixteen. They worry about their sons growing up and treating girls the way Dad treats Mom.
Most of all, they worry about everything in between. They don’t want to screw this up. They weren’t prepared for all of the bumps in the road along the way, and they’re grateful that Mom is constantly researching the best way to do it all. He knows he could never handle it alone. This is the biggest change he’s ever experienced in his life, and he can’t believe the ways that fatherhood has transformed him. Take a moment to take in just how much men have to be shocked by during their journey to becoming a daddy.
15 Baby Girl Is... A Woman?
Imagine the shock and awe that comes over a new father’s face when he is changing his baby girl’s diaper and sees blood in it. Parents don’t see this coming with little girls. While more and more parents are opting out of circumcision and leaving their sons intact, some still circumcise in the United States. That is generally the only instance in which blood is expected in a baby’s diaper.
Jeff shared, “My wife did not warn me that our daughter would have any bleeding down there after she was born. Honestly, I was horrified. I was the one who saw it first and I panicked that something was wrong. She had to Google it and prove to me that it was normal. I can’t believe that shit starts that early in life.”
Truth be told, no, the baby isn’t having a real period. Instead, all the hormones left over from Mom’s body during pregnancy are now escaping the baby’s body. For this reason, little girls may expel from droplets of blood from their vaginas during the first week of life. No cause for concern there.
14 Birth Seriously Is Amazing
Michael shared, “Before my wife ever even got pregnant, she was singing the praises of birth. She had two children before I met her from a previous marriage. She’d been through it all. I was oblivious and thought it couldn’t be that fascinating, because it was so common. It happens every day. It can’t be that great.”
“Then we had a baby. I have never experienced that level of emotion in my life, and I probably never will again outside of more children we hope to have in the future. It’s difficult to put into words, but I was completely floored by what my wife was capable of. It doesn’t matter that hundreds of thousands of other women have done it before her. She’s my hero.”
13 The Ladies Dig Dads
B.R. shared, “I might be sleeping on the couch tonight for telling you this. But it’s not a secret. It can’t be. I know other men have had to have noticed by now. Maybe dad bod is a thing after all. Who knows! But women definitely pay more attention to men who have kids. It’s almost fascinating how often I get hit on now or flirted with since having a kid.”
“What is it? Do they see me as someone who is reliable and not likely to abandon ship? Am I instantly a better man because I fathered a child and am actually taking care of them? Isn’t that just what we’re supposed to do? Maybe I’m the greatest just because that’s what I think. I won’t pretend to understand women. I just know becoming a dad somehow seemed to make me more attractive.”
12 My Poor Nads
Seth shared, “Sorry if you were looking for something a little less blunt, but that’s not me. In thinking back on all I’ve learned since I became a father, the one thing that stands out that no one warned me about is just how often I’ve been kneed, kicked, slapped, smacked and pummeled in the groin!”
Seth isn’t alone, actually. It seems several other dads know just what he’s talking about. Dennis shared, “You become a dad and life changes for the better in most ways. But I have never felt so beaten up and injured in all my life. I’m by no means a fighter, but sometimes I wonder if all these hits to my junk aren’t going to damage something. We want more kids! LOL” Ouch! Could we liken this to being kicked in a boob full of milk?
11 I Wish I Hadn’t Been Snipped
Archie shared, “I never saw it coming when my girlfriend told me she didn’t want to circumcise our son after he was born. We’d never talked about it before. I guess you don’t bring those things up until they’re necessary. I was adamant that he be circumcised. All I could think about was this kid I knew growing up who was teased because he wasn’t. My kid could not be that kid.”
“I admit it took me months to listen to her reasoning. When I did, I still wasn’t emotionally on board with leaving him intact, but I knew I had no real support for my argument. So, we didn’t circumcise. It sounds weird to say now, but I kind of felt like we should match.”
“At one point, I did question what she must be thinking of my junk. So, I asked her. It turns out she felt my mother took a very personal choice away from me that I won’t be able to get back. You know what? I agree with her. That didn’t happen overnight, but I get it now. I’m not rushing to tell my mom, and I don’t blame her because it was the social norm, but I do wish I had been given a voice in the decision to remove part of my [manhood]!”
10 Just How Can There Be So Much Of It?
Ah, that stinky baby. Why is it that babies are adorable when they’re grunting in a corner or smelling up a room and if our partner so much as passes gas we’re freaking out? This dad gets it. Jeremy shared, “Poop just isn’t my thing. I literally gag at the thought of it. I knew this was going to be a problem before we ever had kids. I struggled to even clean up accidents from our dog.”
“Still, I thought maybe it would get better. It didn’t. To this day, changing our toddler’s diaper is an adventure for me. My wife is extremely annoyed all the time. Some days she just resorts to doing all the changing herself so she doesn’t have to deal with me. Other days I think she forces the diapers on me on purpose out of spite or in an attempt to try to get me over my level of disgust. I just can’t. It’s poop! He does it all the time! Gross!”
9 Grapes Are Deadly
Dean shared, “I will never forget the day I first fed my daughter grapes, because it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I could say I was a new dad and didn’t know any better, but the fact of the matter is that I should have known better. Obviously, I did not give her whole grapes. But I thought cutting them in slices was enough.”
“She choked. I had to practically rip her out of her high chair and felt like I was going to break her pounding on her back. The relief was immediate when I saw the grape flop out onto the floor, but during those seconds when I couldn’t get her to breathe well, my world was falling apart. It never occurred to me that round foods like grapes and hot dog slices could be so harmful. I know now, but I wish everyone else was aware, too.”
8 Dairy Is Scary
Allen shared, “A lot of people look at me like I have two heads when I say this, but cow’s milk is some repulsive crap! I grew up on the stuff. I loved it. Cereal was my best friend in college. Then I became a father. Almost immediately after starting our daughter on formula from cow’s milk, she broke out in hives and her face got puffy. I had never even known anyone who had a dairy allergy and it surprised me that she did.”
“I remember questioning how it could even be possible and thinking allergies were hereditary for some reason. It turns out I didn’t know a whole lot at all. So, I started digging in deep into the dairy industry, the components of cow’s milk, and how common this allergy was. What I found out shocked me. There are so many hormones and steroids and pus and byproducts in cow’s milk! If we have more kids, they aren’t getting milk regardless of whether they have an allergy or not!”
7 Breastfeeding Really Is Best
Chris shared, “My girl hates me for this, and I don’t use the word hate lightly. When we met, I really didn’t like breastfeeding. I thought it was kind of offensive, honestly. Even though I’m a guy, I didn’t want to see women feeding their babies when I’m trying to eat my steak dinner at a restaurant. It just wasn’t normal to me.”
“It wasn’t until my girlfriend was pregnant and told me how important breastfeeding was to her that I started to back down. I was still bothered, though. I didn’t want her to do it in public or around our friends and family. She did it anyway. Then the coolest thing happened. I got over it. As it turns out, our kid really is never sick and she’s mad smart. I think there’s something to this breastmilk business.”
6 Vaccines Are A Tricky Business
Scott shared, “All I can really say is that I’m grateful I didn’t have to learn this lesson the hard way. I’m so happy it wasn’t my child. But a very horrible event occurred to friends of ours and it changed the way we parented forever. Close friends of ours had their baby a few months before we had our son. He had an extreme reaction to his vaccines when he was a few months old. The doctors told our friends it would be okay, and it was. At least it appeared to be.”
“Then after his next appointment for shots, he was very fussy and tired all day. It was that night in his sleep that he passed away. Without any explanation, he just stopped breathing in his sleep. His parents really struggled after learning that SIDS was a side effect of vaccines that this was something they felt they did to him. After this experience and much research, we decided not to vaccinate our son.”
5 Hospitals Are Here To Make Money
Gary shared, “It totally freaked me out at first that my wife wanted to have our son at home. I kind of thought she was crazy. Her ideas were just a far stretch from anything I had ever heard about childbirth. I supported her, though. In the end, she had to give birth at the hospital because of complications and needing to be induced.”
“I feel awful for her now knowing that she was right all along. The hospital was clearly most interested in treating her like another random patient. She was nothing but a number to them. She didn’t get the experience that she wanted, and I feel like I was very unprepared for helping her endure the hospital climate. Next time, I will insist on a home birth!”
4 I Never Knew I Could Love Like This
Eric shared, “I might score some bonus points with the wife for telling you this LOL. There’s plenty I’ve learned since becoming a dad that I didn’t know before — and to think I thought I knew everything. Honestly, my wife taught me most of it. I was clueless about kids. I guess women are born knowing how to handle this stuff.”
“The biggest change in my life after our daughter was born was in myself. I changed. I became softer I guess. I just never knew that it was going to feel the way it felt when I first saw her. I had no idea how important it would become to me to eat dinner every night with the sloppy little mess that she is. I didn’t know that her smile and the way she laughs would make me feel so full of life and love that I could just burst. I never knew I could love like this.”
3 Sayonara Friends
Listen, when you become a Dad, your buddies from college just might not get it if they haven’t had their own babies. They won’t understand why you appear to pull away. You aren’t mad. You aren’t over hanging with the boys. You’re just completely immersed in every itty bitty moment with your new bundle of joy. Your relationship has never been better. Everything is rosy, and you want to revel in it. It’s totally normal.
What is also normal is that some of those child-less guys you used to call friends will suddenly jump through an escape hatch and find their way out of your life. Brett shared, “I was pretty surprised when not one but both of my groomsmen from my wedding weren’t around anymore by the time we had our first kid. We had a co-ed baby shower and they didn’t come. They haven’t shown any interest, but they gladly like my Facebook posts — if they’re about football.”
2 I Never Expected To Be A Helicopter Parent
Rocco shared, “I’m pretty sure I turned into that dad everyone hates as soon as she got pregnant. I was worried all the time and feel bad in reflection for passing so much of my anxieties onto her at that time. We had a few bumps in the road during pregnancy, and I should’ve been more supportive of her instead of being the one who needed support. What they say about dads not bonding with their kids until they’re born is some BS. I was fully committed from the start and it would’ve crushed me if she had lost the baby.”
“When he was born, it was Winter time. I was worried about him getting sick. We didn’t visit family much because of this and instead of my wife asking people to go wash their hands, I was all over it. He’s three now and I still can’t stop hovering a little too much. I don’t want him to get hurt! Why is that such a big deal?”
1 Intimacy Gets Better
Eli shared, “If I’m being honest, I was seriously concerned about what our ["private"] life would be like after we had kids. It wasn’t so much the worry that she would change. I’m a grown ass man. I wasn’t in it just for her body. But it only takes a few jokes from your friends who are already dads remarking about how there’s never time for [fun] to get a dude to panic.”
“Fortunately, I think having kids changed our [intimate] life for the better. We definitely do not have as much free time as we did before. We can’t just get it on whenever we want. But when we do, it’s almost like there is more pent up frustration that makes it hotter. She’s way more comfortable in her own skin now, too.”