These Modern Parents Are Using Websites To Have Kids, No Love Necessary

In this day and age, having a baby and starting a family can be as simple as visiting a website or two.

According to The Chicago Tribune, many singles are turning to technology and the internet for a modern approach to having children. Although the traditional trajectory for having children might involve romance and marriage, these days, contemporary methods involve co-parenting without the extra fuss.

After hitting his thirties, Darren Spedale decided to take things into his own hands by creating a website to connect those looking to have children—with no strings attached. The website, entitled Family by Design, serves to connect those looking to become co-parents, not for any romantic opportunities, and most of the time, not even for conception relations. Although the website became live back in 2012, the site has grown to include over 30,000 members who have come together to have children. Turns out, Family by Design isn’t the only website for those looking for fellow co-parents. Modamily is another option for those looking to connect with like-minded members seeking co-parenting opportunities.


Some might wonder, does the co-parenting situation get complicated without any romance involved? According to Santiago Delboy, founder of a psychotherapy company called Fermata, “It’s not essential that two people be in love to be good parents, but they should love each other in a broader sense. Love is the basis for mutual respect, curiosity, understanding, encouragement and support.” In turn, the parents should certainly learn to respect boundaries and keep a healthy balance for all obligations. “It may be possible that parents who are not in love with each other can offer a loving, nurturing and responsive relationship and environment to their child, children begin to internalize not only the individual parents, but the relationship the parents have with each other.” This is especially important to note for those in a co-parenting style family.

As many families can attest, children can become very aware of their surroundings as they grow older, and Delboy has noted that children can observe the relationship between the two parents—good or bad. Websites like Family by Design and similar programming from Modamily tend to advise couples to spend at least six months to a year learning more about one and another before having children. Several families cited as examples from the websites have found a suitable balance for their own co-parenting schedules.

Partners prefer having another person who could help provide and support their child, but also take turns with scheduling and spending quality time raising their baby. These days, this is a modern approach to a typical family unit. Some of the challenges mentioned by co-parenting situations include deciding when to help the child start potty training, or figuring out which school neighborhood would be the best fit.

Other families have turned to more formal means in order to find a healthy balance. For instance, some families have created co-parenting agreements, which are akin to contracts stipulating specific responsibilities for childcare. One example mentioned an agreement which included doctor’s appointments and sharing major events during the child’s life. For those seeking alternative methods for starting a family, be sure to visit Family by Design or Modamily for more information about co-parenting.


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