If you're reading this, you're probably a mom. Odds are, you gave birth to a human. Or maybe you adopted or foster your kiddo! Either way, life changes A LOT post-kids. It's a whole new type of busy, one you can't understand until you're knee deep in the chaos. Some people are killing the motherhood game in ways that are way beyond me. I certainly am not as good at momming as some if y'all, what with your organic homemade baby purees and sensory exploration DIY boards. For real, you're putting the rest of us to shame. Go you!
But if you're one of the world's okayest moms like me, you probably eat a little too much fast food. Lunch is a combination of leftovers with some lunch meat slapped onto some bread. Sensory play is your kid dumping out your cold coffee onto the freshly mopped kitchen floor. Solidarity, fellow hot mess mom.
I'm all about making your life as a mom easier. Who has time to wear cute stuff? Heck, who has time to shower? Not I. I'm not about that “buttoned and zipped” pants life. My McDonald's belly and my low effort butt are much happier inside pants that don't make me feel lumpy.
One of my friends routinely wore pajama pants in college. Eventually her mom tossed all the comfy pants and bought her a bunch of cute little skirts and sweater sets. Not joking; this really happened. A decade later, I am proudly rocking pajama pants at least twice a week. Lazy mornings aren't meant for fussy clothes! I'd rather have an all-day jammie fest than wrestle my toddler into a button-down. No judgement here, mama. You do you. SpongeBob, teddy bear, floral - I don't care what your motif is, as long as you're wearing those pajamas proudly.
Let's be honest, yoga pants are ridiculously comfortable. They allow you to move freely without pinching any part of your mom-bod; does it get better than this? Bonus: you can play yoga pants so many ways! You can do yoga in them, natch. They're also perfect for a run to the store, pharmacy, or school drop-off. Everyone will think you're on your way to yoga, even if you're just on your way to Taco Bell. The truly committed will wear them for 24 hours straight and turn those yoga pants into pajama pants. Perfect for giving people the impression that you have your life together when you're really hanging on by a thread.
Fitness (Taco In My Mouth) Pants
As I write this, I'm curled up on a bench at the world's coolest park, wearing Old Navy athletic leggings. Listen, LuLuLemon: you're too expensive and you're kind of a cult and just no. I wear athletic pants because it gives me a reason to go to the gym. Not even joking, if I can just pick up and GO I'm far more likely to actually workout. But even that's a rarity. No, I mostly wear these pants because they go with everything. I buy basic black pants so I can fake people into thinking I own, like, ten pairs. Really I'm just washing them (maybe) and rewearing. My mom-bad loves the super high waistbands. Even with my tiger stripes, I feel ok wearing just athletic pants and a sports bra in my own backyard. ….I'm too sensitive to try it in public, real talk. But someday! If I keep wearing them, maybe I'll lose my back fat by osmosis.
The moral of the story is this: wear whatever you want. You're shaping the next generation and you deserve to be comfortable while you do it. So let your low effort flag fly and embrace the best pants for moms: that is, any pants without buttons or zippers.
What do you wear for your “mom uniform”? Tell me where to find the comfiest pants and I'll blow a kiss at you on Twitter @pi3sugarpi3. (But for real - I will!)