A mother has found herself the subject of an online debate after she asked guests invited to her twins’ 5th birthday party to only bring cash and not physical presents.
The mother turned to Mumsnet to anonymously share her situation. She explained that her twins, who will be 5-years old soon, only started school three weeks ago. As such, she still doesn’t know most of the parents in her kids’ class. To invite the parents and their kids to her children’s birthday party, she created a WhatsApp group between herself and the other 50 parents.
However, the mother made a bold move when she then asked the other parents via WhatsApp to only bring cash not actually gifts to the party. She explained she was worried about the number of unwanted gifts her family may end up with otherwise.
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"I’m starting to freak out about the number of presents they will get and where to keep them in the house (plus all that extra plastic that will end up at the dump),” she wrote in her post. "WIBU (would I be unreasonable) to send a group WhatsApp message asking not to bring presents or to put a bit of cash in a card and I can take them to get something they choose?” She added, "How could I word it? Most guests are their new classmates (only started 3 weeks ago), so I don’t know the parents".
Unfortunately for her, however, the majority of commenters on the post agreed that asking guests to bring cash could be perceived as rude. "Asking for cash is rude and vulgar,” one fellow parent wrote. Another added, "No you can't ask people your kids have known for three weeks for cash! Outrageous! “A different person wrote, "Omg of course you can't ask for cash, how cheeky and rude!”
Some even scolded the mother for inviting so many people despite wanting little to no gifts. "If you didn't want '50 plastic tat presents' then you shouldn't have invited 50 people!” one comment read. One person even said they specifically buy things on sale throughout the year to use as birthday presents. Otherwise, she says she wouldn’t be able to afford to it.
"I buy reduced toys just after summer season and Christmas for parties throughout the year,” the commenter said. "I am absolutely skint and wouldn't be able to afford cash in a card. I'd ask for no presents in your situation." She added, "By asking for cash you’re probably pushing people to up their spending amount.”
Many commenters pointed out there are other things the mother can do with the ‘unwanted’ birthday gifts. Some suggestions included regifting the presents, donating them to a charity or thrift store, or asking guests to bring books over plastic toys.
However, there was also a fair share of people who felt asking for cash wasn’t a bad idea. "Put a few nice words about saving the environment and only wanting their presence at the party and chances are you will get a few fivers put in the card anyway,” one person commented. "I just asked for donations towards a large item and it went down well."
Another person said, "Round here, thanks to a brilliant mum who had the balls to be the first to say 'please bring no presents, and if you insist a £2 coin for her piggy bank would be great as she’s saving for x',” they wrote. "All parties are now pretty much no gift parties. Most people put £5 in a card or £2 in the piggy bank.”
Do you think this mom’s request is appropriate BabyGaga readers? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.