It’s St. Patrick’s day and I invited some mom-friends and their husbands and kids over to my house for a casual party. My friend L wasn’t able to come as her baby has a sinus infection (Feel better, sweet baby!). But Maria and her husband, Quinn - and their son, Kash - came over to play. Maria and I met through Facebook and found out we live sort of close to each other, so we decided to get together. And here we are, a few months into mom-dating and we still like each other! But making mom friends is not easy. I feel really lucky that Maria and I found each other, and wanted to document this early stage of our friendship.
Tell me about yourself and your kid:
M: Hey, internet! I think I’m pretty laid-back. I’m pretty straight forward - there is no sugar coating. I don’t do sugarcoats on either end - I don’t like people who sugarcoat and I don’t like to sugarcoat back.
A: Yeah, it feels like a mental game - like, here interpret this snarky sugary thing.
M: Yeah, I pretty things to be just be real. I’m an extroverted introvert, is what I’d say. I mean, I’m an introvert until I’m not.
A: My husband is like that - people think he’s quiet until they get to know him. (laughs)
M: I’d consider myself to be a little bit of a social justice warrior. I feel like I spend a lot of my time trying to speak out for people who are marginalized.
A: What’s Kash like?
M: Kash is really really goofy. Like, 90% of what he does is to make you laugh. It’s his main goal in life, to entertain everybody around him. He also really likes the attention, but he’s really good at playing on his own, too.
A: And he’s super adorable and a really good kid!
How did we meet?
M: I want to say through Fluff Love?
*Fluff Love is a Cloth Diapering Site/Group*
A: Do you remember how we met that?
M: Somebody was asking about diaper donations, and I brought up the Rebecca Foundation and you chimed in and said you were the Chicago president.
A: Maybe it was the Chicago Cloth Diaper group?
M: Yeah, I know that was also one place we kept running into each other.
A: And then eventually we started chatting and I said we should meet up on my maternity leave.
M: And I suggested the toddler playground at the mall.
What’s hard about making mom friends?
M: (we both laugh) I think the hardest thing about making mom friends is that there’s so many opinions on what to do with your own kid. Sometimes it’s hard to even bring up topics, because you don’t know what their opinion is on a certain topic. Also, I had Kash pretty young, and most of my friends aren’t moms yet. So it was hard to branch out to other mom friends because I didn’t have any mom friends as it was.
A: Yes, totally. I know that’s something you and I have both said - that we’re glad that we have similar styles so we don’t have to worry so much that we’re judging each other. I don’t mind if I chose something different than another mom, I don’t judge her for it. It’s whatever works for her! But I think I’m always afraid of mommy wars or being judged myself.
I’ll add more from Maria tomorrow - we talk about how we’ve beaten the mom-game with lifehacks, what we like to drink, and the best and worst of toddlers. Stay tuned!How did you meet your mom-friends? Do you share philosophies or do you have totally different styles? What’s your favorite thing to do together?