A recent study found that moms who are pushy with their kids provoke negative emotions, and thus build a rift between them. Teens are more likely not to do what they're supposed to, or tidy their rooms if their moms are controlling. They don't cope well with authoritative tones from parents while in their teens. On the contrary, a soft, supportive tone helps build collaborative nature in teens. They're more likely to cooperate if they're asked in a way that's encouraging- even if the words used are identical.
Researchers from the Cardiff University examined around 1000 kids aged between 14 and 15 years old, and how they responded to instructions delivered in various tones by a woman. Some of the instructions included “It’s time now to go to school,” “You will read this book tonight,” and “You will do well on this assignment.” The respondents were asked how they would feel or react if their moms had spoken that way. The ones delivered in an authoritative way fared worst, and the ones that were supportive were rated best.
Dr. Netta Weinstein said, "If parents want conversations with their teens to have the most benefit, it's important to remember to use supportive tones of voice. It's easy for parents to forget, especially if they are feeling stressed, tired, or pressured themselves.
When adolescents are spoken to in a supportive and encouraging manner, they feel like they're more cared about and happier. As a result, they strive to do better in school, as well as all other aspects of their life.
The controlled use of technology among the kids is also essential. Experts say that no child should own a device before the age of seven. They can use one from any family members- but as it doesn't belong to them, they won't have it at their disposal. The exposure time to a technology device should also be regulated. If a child's under seven years old, the maximum span of time should not be over thirty minutes at any given time. Engage the child in something active after the technology use. Between seven to eleven years old, a child should learn to manage technology time. That way, by the time they reach secondary school, they learn how to possess and use a phone- which most parents want the kids to use as a point of contact. Parents should have access to all online accounts of kids between ages eleven to fifteen; however, they should treat them with respect.
"If parents want conversations with their teens to have the most benefit, it's important to remember to use supportive tones of voice," said Dr. Weinstein.
So, moms: the next time you want your young adults to get something done, remember that they're growing up and- like every individual- they, too, expect respect. Your "controlling" tone will only give rise to an argument. This will help foster a healthy relationship between mother and teen.