One mother-in-law (MIL) is overstepping boundaries with her daughter-in-law by asking to breastfeed her incoming grandbaby.
In the Reddit group r/JustNoMIL — a support subreddit for anyone dealing with some less-than-savory in-laws — u/immacutiepie88 posted her issue, looking for advice on how to deal with the situation. Her mother-in-law wants to breastfeed her daughter, and is not getting the hint when almost everyone with a say in the matter says "No".
"MIL wants to breastfeed my child. She found articles from different cultures that do this and is thinking it’s a great idea," writes the Redditor in a post we edited. "I have told her 'gross, no,' my mom got involved and said 'no,' but she is still finding articles and sending them to me about all the benefits. She is in her 60s. I don’t know what to do..."
Apparently, this isn't atypical behavior either. According to u/immacutiepie8, she's never really hit it off with her significant other's mother. She says her mother-in-law has some boundary issues and doesn't take criticism very well. In fact, the last time she and the writer had a problem, they didn't speak for six months. So, when it comes to this situation, the mom-to-be is having trouble keeping calm in the face of a frustrating situation. So, she turned to Reddit for help.
While it's not surprising, the group sided with the mom and offered advice, though most members kept the conversation focused on one solution. They say the father-to-be needs to step up and talk to his mother. While it's an awkward conversation to have, at this point, it seems like he is the only one to get through to his mother. In the meantime, many users recommended keeping the baby away from the grandmother until she's backed down. Others struggled to find what articles this MIL was sharing. While there are some cultures where a grandmother can breastfeed, those are populations where they're younger.
Aside from social reasons, breastfeeding between a mother and baby is beneficial for a lot of reasons. The World Health Organization (WHO) says babies should be breastfed for the first six months of their lives. They also say that while it's good for the baby, breastfeeding can help reduce certain types of ovarian and breast cancer. Obviously, this doesn't mean breastfeeding is mandatory, there are many situations where a bottle is considered perfectly OK. Still, a 60 plus-year-old grandmother should probably sit this one out.
Dealing with an in-law isn't easy. These are the people who raised your significant other, so conflict can have repercussions. However, when they're clearly in the wrong — about your child no less — it's important for both partners to put up a united front and handle the situation in a firm manner.