Sometimes, mother-in-laws (MILs) think they know best, and one mom found that out the hard way when the three-month-old daughter had her ears pierced behind her back.
In the Reddit group r/AmITheA**Hole — a community where users post stories and readers decide if the author is the jerk or not to blame — one mom, u/PatientEase, says she and her husband come from different backgrounds. While the two share similar beliefs on most issues, there are some cultural differences that can cause some headaches. While she doesn't reveal her husband's family history, she does say that it's tradition for baby girls to get their ears pierced. For most things, they strike a compromise, but for this, the mom didn't want to budge.
"I know they won’t remember [getting their ears pierced] and wasn’t so much the pain aspect, but more so I wanted her to be able to decide," writes u/PatientEase in a post we edited. "Yes, the holes close up, but I’d rather her get to decide when, or if, she pierces them when she’s older."
She says her husband agreed and took her side, but that wasn't good enough for the MIL. When she babysat the three-month-old, she took the baby to her aunt's and got her ear pierced. In the MIL's mind, this is a tradition that all the babies in her family go through, and not doing it is disrespectful to their culture. When she returned, both u/PatientEase and her husband were furious — which sparked a fight between the mother and son. Now, the Redditor wants to limit the alone time her MIL has with the baby — suggesting a ban on her babysitting completely. While her husband isn't that angry, he's willing to support his wife in this cause.
It appears u/PatientEase has Reddit on her side as the community voted in her favor. Most users said that the request was simple enough that going against the mother's wishes is disrespectful, while others didn't like the idea of piercing a baby's ear, to begin with. Some went far enough to consider it child abuse, though the mother was quick to shut those talks down completely.
Regardless, dealing with in-laws can be difficult, especially when there are cultural differences between the beliefs of the mother and her spouse's family. Thankfully, both she and her husband have a united front on this topic, making it even more surprising that this MIL was unable to respect the wishes of the baby's parents. Hopefully, the piercing can be removed in short order and the hole can heal with minimal scarring.