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I Promise, The Mother Loneliness Gets Better

We have all experienced the painful feelings of loneliness. When you become a mother, you often can feel the overwhelming feeling of being left out of the world and being lonely.

You probably went from a life where you got to see your friends, go out in public whenever you wanted and most likely had coworkers you could socialize with on a daily basis. When you become a mother, however, it sometimes feels like you are all alone because you are with a little person who you can't really talk to. The baby just cries at you.

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When I became a mother, I really struggled. Going from zero children to one child was definitely the hardest transition I have ever made. I went from talking to friends every day to never even leaving the house. I went from playing sports with friends to crying because I was so exhausted and never getting any sleep. It was so hard. I was so tired.

People kept on telling me that it was going to get better, but I couldn't see how that was possible. I didn't have any friends. I didn't get to talk to humans during the day. It was just me and my baby. I suffered from post-partum depression and I thought that mother loneliness would never go away.

Maclean's

I am here to tell you that it really does get better! First of all, you get used to being so tired. You have never known what tired really is until you have become a mother. After being a mother for a little bit you get used to not getting any sleep. I have four children. My oldest is 5 and my youngest is one month old. We haven't slept in a long time but we are able to handle less sleep.

Second of all, your kids start getting older and so you get to be more involved with other parents. When you have a newborn it is really hard to make mom friends. It's not like you are taking your newborn to parks, playdates, or activities. Even if you do meet another mom it is really hard to break the ice. The best way to break the ice with a fellow mother is to talk about your children. It is much harder when your baby is only a month or so.

As my children get older, I have been able to make a lot more mom friends and my mom's loneliness isn't nearly as overwhelming. My children participate in several different activities, they are now in school where I get to meet other parents, and I get invited to play dates. Five years ago, when my son was born, I would not have been able to give you a single name of one mom friend. But as my children have gotten older, I have been able to make some friends.

Not only will you make mom friends, but you also get to start communicating with your children. I can have full conversations with my five and four years old. We talk about everything. They get to tell me stories and we get to learn new things together. If you are feeling the mom's loneliness, I can tell you that it really does get better!

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