When I became a mother I had a tough time figuring out who I was. I lost my identity and it took some time to find myself again.

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My entire life I had been able to describe myself as loud, goofy, and an athlete. I have always loved sports. I played soccer for 0ver 10 years, volleyball for four years, basketball for five years, and water polo for 2 years. I even played intramural sports in college. When my husband and I started dating, we met while playing volleyball. Throughout our dating and our engagement, we were playing a sport about 3x a week. We were even part of a volleyball league together. That is who I was! That is what I liked to do. I was also incredibly obsessed with working out. I had completed the Insanity program from Beach Body and I considered myself to be in very good shape. I thought that would never change, but becoming a mother took away that part of me, and it threw me into an identity crisis. Motherhood is so hard and it was even harder not knowing who I was.

The Fourth Trimester Was A Total Shock

When I got pregnant with my first child I was so sick. I just threw up all day long and it was so miserable. I could barely walk around our small apartment, let alone actually be involved in sports. When I gave birth, I had a fourth-degree tear and so recovery was so difficult. I had stitches in for about 10 weeks. Even if I thought about running I would pee my pants. I then couldn't wear a bra because every bra gave me mastitis (I was so grateful to eventually find the Cadenshae bras). Obviously, I couldn't workout without a sports bra. I started feeling better and then I got pregnant when my son was only 7 months old.

Creating A New Identity

A little part of me died when I became a mother. I was completely lost. I forgot who I was and I really had no idea who I was. The Pragmatic Parent says, "When you become a mother, your previous identity no longer exists and you’ve been given a blank slate to create something new." That is exactly how it felt, a scary blank slate. When people asked me to describe myself to them I couldn't. I didn't even know what to say. For people who asked me about myself, all I could say was, " I am a mom." It was just a bizarre time. I was depressed, lost, and started to resent my beautiful perfect son. My husband and I bought a home when my second child was only 2 months old. The home was a disaster! I decided that I needed to actually fix it up in order to feel comfortable living in the home. That home brought me to life. It was through that home that I learned I absolutely had a passion for projects. I fixed up every single room in the home and I learned so much along the way. I became so handy and it was something I truly loved. I then decided to create a blog to let people follow me through my journey. It was a lot of fun! I also learned that I really loved the blogging world! I loved writing, marketing, and learning about all things social media. My blog crashed and burned but I learned so much along the way. I learned that I loved writing and started making a career in the freelance writing world.

Finding My Identity Was Life-Changing

Being a mom really is a tough thing. Yes, taking care of a human is hard, and you can lose yourself. Being a mom is something I am very proud of, but it isn't all that I am. I am so much more. I have had to find out more about myself. Before I was married, I described myself as athletic. Through my motherhood journey, I have learned that there is so much more to me than just being interested in sports. Now that I have found myself a little more, I feel so much more confident as a mom, a wife, and a woman. I can easily describe myself without just saying, "I am a mom." Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mother, but it isn't all that I am. I am so much more, and so are you.

Moms Need To Find Their Identity Outside Of Motherhood

I urge women to continue to discover who they are. I urge mothers to find something that they love to do that has nothing to do with their children, and that is not selfish. It will bring you to life. It's not bad to want to find yourself. You shouldn't feel ashamed. I promise you that you will be happier and your family will be happier if you find yourself. My children have become so much happier as they have seen their mother's confidence grow. It has been an amazing experience to figure out things about myself. Very Well Family says, "But the truth is, not taking care of yourself doesn't help anyone in the family, especially not your children. You want to give your kids the best of yourself and the only way to do that is to make sure you are taking care of yourself." If you can't describe yourself without just saying, "I am a mom" then you need to sit back and reevaluate who you are! It takes time. Just begin.

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Sources: The Pragmatic Parent, Very Well Family, Mother Far From Home