Having a baby for the first time is full of surprises: some good and some bad. For those nine months of pregnancy, society (and your own research) prepares you enough to be able to get a general sense of what you're in for. What is very seldom talked about, however, is the loneliness and isolation that comes along with new motherhood. Many women can agree that a lot of their friends tend to veer off soon after their baby is born, but research shows that having friends, more specifically someone to vent to, is crucial to mentally survive the dramatic life change that is having a baby.
Having a vent buddy is a great way to release frustration and anxiety whether you're a mom or not. Leon F. Seltzer, Ph. D., who wrote Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy, says that venting helps relieve people of stress and tension, and it is a healthy way to get rid of those unwanted feelings. Not only that but confiding in other people allows us to sometimes get a new perspective; one that we may not have even thought of on our own. In having that sort of confidant, msn.com reports that problem-solving skills are improved as well.
In terms of how vent buddies help our children, there are two main points to consider. Raising children in an environment that is rich in healthy, supportive relationships will help them achieve and sustain their own relationships later on in life, and many moms will agree that when they get time out to talk with a friend (away from the kids), they are much more refreshed and patient with their kids when they return. Directing stress away from your children removes the negative atmosphere that most of us are familiar with and allows you to surround your children with more good than bad. Vent buddies essentially are one of many things that help you to be a better mom.
In searching for a vent buddy, choosing someone who is supportive and willing to listen to all of your problems without judgment is essential. You also want a friend who cares enough about you to tell you when you're in the wrong and then help you work through whatever situation it is that you're faced with. When you feel "less alone, supported and cared for, it makes you happier, mentally stable and it lowers the risk of developing mental disorders such as depression and anxiety," reports msn.com. So, go forth and find that vent buddy of your own! It will do you and your new family a world of good.