A few years back - and yes, I mean years - an acquaintance posted something kind of crappy on Facebook! Surprise! Someone was a total jerk on social media. Shocked face, I know.
Her status, paraphrased, said: "Look, moms. No one forced you to have a child. I'm so sick of you saying you're busier than I am - I have a life, too! And you chose to be a parent so you need to stop complaining about it."
WAIT! Before you head explodes - don't worry, I set her straight. This one isn't hard to counter - mostly because it's so ridiculously illogical to begin with. Apparently parents aren't busier than people who don't have kids - but also, they can't complain about *how busy they are* because Facebook Person doesn't want to hear about it. So...which is it? Are parents busy? Or are they not busy? Why would they be complaining if they weren't really busy? For the attention? For the freebies? I must have missed the memo on all those busy-mom-freebies.
Listen, Linda (her name isn't Linda I just can't stop thinking about that YouTube kid with an attitude) - stay in your lane. This is so not your lane to be telling parents how they feel. Not every parent feels the same way about their life and general schedule. Some parents have routines built into their day so that it flies by like a breeze. Other parents, while busy, don't stop to think about how they wish they could just relax - or be doing something else - because they *live* for the busy-ness of raising their kids. They might see their kids an investment, and even though it requires sacrifice, that might seem a small price to pay to get the pleasure of knowing (and guiding) these awesome future leaders. You know, these kids we're raising will be wiping your butt one day. You could show a little respect for our hard work, since you'll benefit from it in the future.
And so what if a mom wants to complain about how busy she is? It's her life - and what she says about her life has no impact on yours. Stay. In. Your. Lane. Maybe she's got one too many things on her plate right now and she can only give 80% to everything. Maybe one of those plates just fell and she's feeling the repercussions of not being an actual superhero and freezing time so she can get more stuff done. Have a sliver of compassion, Linda! When someone says life is hard right now, it costs you nothing to believe them and zip your lip. Listen to them. Maybe, just maybe - you might be able to offer some support to make their life easier.
But most of all, Linda - MOST. OF. ALL. You aren't a special snowflake. You don't magically have the world's busiest lifestyle, and no one made you The Baron of Busy-ness. Stay in your lane, Linda. Guess what I was before I became a mom? A busy person without kids. Guess what I learned once I had kids? I had NO CONCEPT for what busy really was. Girl, I can't even pee alone anymore. At least you get bathroom breaks in your life!
I have lived both lives - the life of a young adult, no kids, in the city. I partied and stayed out late and filled my weekends with so much "busy-ness" in the form of hanging out with friends. I worked full-time and commuted about 15 hours a week - I know that it *feels* like you just couldn't possibly fit anything more into your day.
And then I had a kid. Once that baby was born, surprisingly, I had to change around my whole life. (That was sarcasm, Linda. No one is surprised that babies rock their world - except, apparently, you.) I had to keep that full-time job, keep those friendships, keep my own personal interests and hobbies, keep that crazy commute - and I had to do it while also literally keeping another helpless human alive with my body. I might have given up long weekends partying with friends, but instead I spend long weekends taking my kids to the zoo. I don't just find time to squeeze in my own doctor's appointments - I also make time for theirs. I don't just find time to feed myself lunch - I feed them lunch, too. And no, I can't just put a plate in front of them. It takes effort.
So, no, Linda. You don't get to act like you know what it's like to be a parent. You have no frickin' clue. But I do know what it's like to live your life. And hey - I know it *seems* busy. I'm sure you have a lot going on. But I got you beat by a mile, honey. And so does every other mom that ever was.
Do you ever see people without kids telling parents what to do? Have you ever been brave enough to tell them to stay in their lane? How well did that go over? Tell me more on Twitter @pi3sugarpi3.