Obstetricians are beloved and vilified at the same time by their clients. After all, who's there the moment of a woman's greatest joy in life- having a baby. But at the same time, who do expectant moms blame if things unfortunately go wrong, even if it is really nobody's fault?
Some women will do anything to find a female ob/gyn while others only want a man to be their doctor. Nationally, almost 90 percent of those graduating in this field are women. In New York University School of Medicine, only one out of seven ob/gyn residents are men.
The ones that enter this field often feel women are better patients than men, because they are not afraid to detail their symptoms even if they involve intimacy. Women sometimes feel their obstetrician/gynecologist can't possibly understand them if their OB is a man. In reality all these doctors deserve credit for their work.
They hear (and see) women in their most vulnerable moments. Most OBs are sympathetic (or they would find another profession), and find that having a good sense of humor is crucial to their work. Examining women's private areas can't be so easy for ob/gyns, whether they be women or men, so a dose of laughter to relieve tension is very important!
After all, the most bizarre things happen to women when they are being examined, pregnant, or giving birth. And who can blame them? Here are some of their funniest delivery moments recalled.
14 Put That Baby Back
Jessica was having a very hard time giving birth because of a long labor. The nurses and obstetrician felt very sorry for the husband, who was being such a good coach, keeping his wife's spirit up. After many hours, her exhausted husband went outside to rest for a moment and let the anxiously waiting family members know what was going on.
Five minutes after he left, the obstetrician delivered the baby. The husband returned, and faced with a new reality, that of the baby actually being born while he was outside, he got terribly upset. It was clear that he was really devastated about missing the birth itself!
The father then planted himself in front of the doctor and the nurses and demanded with the most serious face: "We are starting over! PUT THAT BABY BACK!"
Needless to say, after all the hours of tension, everyone in the room broke up laughing. Jessica then handed the baby to her husband, who calmed down immediately!
13 The Baby Just Popped Out
An obstetrician was waiting for his patient to start pushing. In the middle of labor, when they felt it was too early she suddenly pushed the help button and when the nurses came running, her distress was apparent.
"I''m in terrible pain!" she cried out. The nurses started shouting "Stop pushing!" "I'm not pushing!" the woman yelled back, "I'm really not!"
The nurses quickly paged the OB who was in an adjacent wing. In the meantime, the nurses started pushing the patient's bed towards the delivery room. As they banged open the doors, they let go of the rails, and the bed kept on moving to the center of the room where it suddenly stopped.
Apparently the fast moving bed caused the patient to flip from her side over to her back and the baby immediately popped out! The nurse paged the OB again and said in a calm voice "Doctor, you can take your time now!"
12 Valentine's Day Delivery
A very happy couple came to the maternity ward on Valentine's Day. It wasn't clear why they were wearing such fancy clothing- the man a tux, the woman a lacy dress, until they told the nurse that they were actually on their way to their own wedding!
The woman had gone into labor early, and was upset because they wanted to be married before the baby was born, and regretful that they hadn't had the ceremony earlier. The nurse didn't blink an eye and quickly took action. First, she asked if they had the marriage license with them, and when the answer was yes she called the hospital chaplain.
He arrived immediately, whereupon the nurse on call was designated as their bridesmaid, and their obstetrician was asked to be the best man! The wedding took place in the hospital within an hour, and 10 minutes after that...their daughter arrived in the world!
11 Father Tried To Catch The Baby Like A Football
Watching fathers and their reactions-especially young fathers, is often a comedic or touching sideline to what can be hours of tense labor and delivery.
One very young couple, both less not much more than 20 years of age, were both very anxious for the delivery. The father was especially jumpy, sitting down, getting up, wandering the hallway and returning, not really knowing what to do with himself, except try to periodically calm his wife, who ordered him to "stop bothering her."
Finally the obstetrician told him that it was time to push, and that the head was beginning to crown. The young dad dashed to the counter and put on rubber gloves. He stood a few feet away from his wife's legs and went into a position as if he was about to catch a football!
The nurses and doctor started to laugh and had to explain to the young man that babies don't get tossed like a football! Another doctor said that the husband looked down while an OB was sewing up his wife's tear and said, "Whatever you do, don't look in the mirror. It's a disaster down there."
10 Woman Delivered On A Pillow
It's not uncommon for a woman to want to sit on the toilet when she has to push. The sensations are similar. An OB was attempting to get his patient back on the table, so that the baby would not land...in the toilet. "Please," he begged "we may only have a few minutes...." Finally she gave in to his plea and tried to move towards the delivery table.
Before the nurses could get to her, she bent her knees and ending up in a squatting position between the delivery table and the wall. At this point the obstetrician had to move fast so that the baby, which was clearly crowning would not land on the floor.
He was a large man, so it wasn't easy, but he remembered the auto mechanic who recently changed the muffler in his car and slid under the bed....under the woman and baby, now very close to delivery. The woman gave birth right after, with the doctor catching the baby on a pillow!
9 Mom Mistook The Cord For Something Else
"Why am I doing this to myself?" is one of the most oft-used phrases an obstetrician hears while delivering a baby. Another one is in regards to the gender of the baby. Often parents are quite convinced, especially after a few children, what the little one will turn out to be.
A father of four girls told his wife, "Look honey, we have a girl, another one!"
"WHAT?" said the mom. "Check again." The father said "I'm quite sure it's a girl" and the mom answered angrily this time "You're not looking hard enough!" She had been staring at the umbilical cord and had mistaken it for a baby boy part. The OB and nurses found this quite amusing.
Doctors hear a on of funny things in the delivery room. From "Put them back!" to "It's coming out the wrong way!" And one OB's Favorite "You are a sadist! Leave me alone!" But we think the funniest one is, "Why can't we just lay eggs?"
Another mom was in the middle of labor when she spotted a giant mirror on wheels. She asked to have it wheeled over to her. The nurse said "that's so nice, you want to watch the delivery?" The mom to be said "Uh, uh, I want to check my hair!"
8 Anesthesiologist Was Her Own Support System
An anesthesiologist who was in labor had received an epidural. She was very familiar with all the stages of labor and delivery, but not uncomfortable at all. Since it was their first child, the husband didn't believe his wife was really having the baby since all she wasn't screaming lie women in labor do on TV.
After a few hours the nurses said she was fully dilated and called the OB in. The husband held her leg as instructed, but looked down and immediately fainted. He was revived by breathing oxygen from her mask, eating her ice chips, and she held her own leg in the stirrup while pushing out the baby.
Another obstetrician, while giving birth herself said, "I don't want to do this, I'm going home!" And then she tried to get off the table!
7 Mom-To-Be Conducts Business Transaction During Labor
An amazed gynecologist told about the time a pregnant woman requested to give birth without any pain medication. Since it was her first baby, she was advised that she might change her mind during labor and request pain medication. She said she wanted very much to go drug free but would re-think the situation if the doctor felt it would help her during labor.
Apparently the woman wanted to remain drug free for other reasons: she needed to focus. The doctor couldn't believe that when she was 9 millimeters dilated, she requested that her banker be allowed in because she wanted to sign mortgage documents! The woman had been in natural labor for some hours now, and by coincidence this was the same day of her house closing!
The obstetrician watched, incredulous as the woman read over, and then signed the papers....and gave birth 20 minutes later!
6 Father Watches His Daughter Deliver #2
Did you know that babies roll over their mom's rectum while she is in labor? And it is very common to go to the bathroom while pushing. Every OB will tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed of. One doctor tells of a patient of his who was not only embarrassed, but rather confused about what was happening.
He said the delivery room was pretty crowded with himself, residents, her husband and both sets of grandparents. All of a sudden the pushing mom yelled, "Help, someone!" I'm giving birth out of my behind!" Her father immediately put on his glasses to have a closer look!
The laughing doctor assured both grandpa and his patient that it would be impossible to give birth from her behind...and also advises patients to be careful about who they bring into the delivery room as shocking things often occur!
5 Woman Tried To Call Her Dog During Delivery
Obstetricians expect that moms in labor can get a bit, well, over excited. And they try all different methods to remain calm. One OB tells of a patient who was in active labor and started laughing, and couldn't stop. For about a half hour this continued, and the laughter became so catchy that soon the husband, nurse and doctor were all laughing out loud themselves.
The patient told the doctor afterwards that laughing while having contractions (with no medication) hurt "like hell," but that the experience was "much more memorable!"
Another patient watched a Harry Potter marathon and asked the doctor suddenly how dilated she was. "9 and 3/4!" said the OB, and the patient was thrilled! On the other hand, another patient banged her head against the floor when hot showers and breathing exercises did nothing until she received an epidural. Another hid under the bed to try escaping the pain!
One woman asked her nurse while they were delivering the baby to call someone named Colton and tell them she loves and misses them. The nurse asked for the number and took out her phone for the mom to make the call. The husband came in and asked who they were calling. When he was told "Colton," he laughed and said, "Colton is our dog. My wife is high as a kite!"
4 The Nurse Almost Yanked The Placenta Out
Obstetricians deal with mom's and their families, as well as young interns and nurses who sometimes can get carried away themselves with excitement.
One doctor describes watching how a young intern was delivering a newborn. As the baby came out, he stuck an arm out and grabbed the doctor's scrubs. The intern was so amazed that he kept pointing at the baby and shouting, "This is so cool," over and over.
In another story, a young nurse was so eager to do her job right the first time that she reached for the newborn before the doctor cut the cord. The mom yelled "He's still attached!" The nurse put him down very quickly and waited.
At another hospital, a nurse was in the delivery room, and the baby's head started crowning. She told the mom to stop pushing!
Needless to say, that didn't help, and the nurse successfully delivered the infant.
3 Mom Had No Idea She Was Pregnant
Many OB's have experienced this type of thing at least once: One doctor reported a story of a woman who suddenly had terrible cramps during her winter break. Her boyfriend took her to the emergency room, but on the way she needed a rest stop so they pulled up to a fast food restaurant.
She started to bleed, so they called an ambulance. The driver kept asking "Are you pregnant?" Which annoyed the woman and she insisted she wasn't and asked the driver to stop asking her if she was pregnant.
In the ER, the lady felt a lot of pressure, she asked a nurse what it could be and the nurse immediately paged the OB. The woman couldn't believe she was pregnant. She didn't gain a substantial amount of weight or showing any signs or symptoms of pregnancy. She just thought she was exhausted from teaching. She was on the pill, so not getting her period wasn't a big deal for her.
The OB said that when he was delivering the baby, the boyfriend was waiting outside, but hadn't been given any information because the couple wasn't married. He still had no idea his girlfriend was expectant, When he was finally allowed in the room, the OB said the look on the boyfriend's face was priceless! But he pulled himself together quickly, clapped his hands and said, "OK let's do this!"
A healthy baby girl was born soon after.
2 The OB Makes The Jokes In L&D
At 38 weeks, a woman came to her OB feeling fine. "Oh, you definitely have a week before you deliver," he told her. When she got up to leave, her water suddenly broke and splashed all over the floor. "Well, I'm ready t deliver now," she declared and calmly took herself to the hospital. He had punctured her bag during the checkup!
An OB heard a man running into the ER yelling, "My wife's going to have a baby in the taxi! " He grabbed his bag, ran outside to the cab, and began to take off the woman's underwear after lifting her dress. She began screaming and he realized that there were a few taxis in line-and he had approached the wrong one!
An embarrassed gynecologist admitted that early on in her career, she made a small mistake that almost ruined the Cesarean she was performing. In the middle of the operation she dropped her scalpel! She blurted out,"Oh no!" and the mother thought something was wrong with the baby and panicked. The nurses, husband, and OB had to calm her down before the doctor could continue.
1 Labor Drives Some Women Crazy
In the middle of delivery, a patient clamped her legs shut. The OB's arm was trapped inside! So she calmly announced: "You have to open your legs and let me get my hand out!"
Another doctor had to stay composed as a patient, after many hours of labor grabbed her husband's face in her hand, squeezed his cheeks and with a hiss said "I am going to kill you!" Then she tried to bite his arm.
The husband of a woman being induced felt queasy throughout the procedure, and when she began pushing, he turned white, and started vomiting. His wife pushed for only a few moments, of which he spent in the bathroom, missing the whole delivery! The wife was very distraught, until the OB calmly remarked, "Oh, he's a nurse. They're the worst!" The whole room cracked up!