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Only A True Walmart Mom Will Answer Yes To These 12 Questions

In some places of the country, this superstore may be like the only place a mom can go when she needs to run out for diapers, food, or other essentials.

And anyone out there who is a mom probably knows that sometimes, convenience and saving money are really, really important factors.

It’s hard work that moms do. We totally get it!

Getting out the door in a real outfit with all children dressed, bathed, and fed can surely be a struggle on some days, whether you’re a mother of Saks 5th Avenue or part of that infamous group of people captured on camera shopping at another type of store: the people of Walmart.

To be honest, I’m not huge on scrolling through Internet lists looking at ridiculous pictures of people, particularly ones that make fun of those who might very well have a substance abuse problem or need professional help with a mental disorder.

When such lists first became popular, the few I perused tended to be about cute baby animals – things like that.

So all in good fun, and remembering that kindness and compassion might be the best reactions when faced with people like this in real life, let’s consider some questions – 17, in fact – that only a true Walmart mom would answer “yes” to.

12 Does She Mix Tummy Time With Public Potty Time?

When you gotta go, you gotta go…

And this really can be a tricky situation. If your baby is not in the stroller, or if the stroller will not fit into the bathroom or into the available restroom stall, you’re forced to figure out how to go with a baby in your arms.

Wearing them in a fabric carrier can work. It’s awkward, but so much better than… this image.

Bits of used toilet paper are scattered about the tile floor of the public restroom. The young baby’s hand seems to be reaching out for something – she’s probably working on that pincher grasp!

Is it maybe even almost worse because the baby is wearing so little clothing? It’s just a diaper and some sort of dress or top. There’s not even a fabric barrier between her and whatever is happening directly in front of that Walmart toilet.

11 Does She Lunge In Loungewear?

Moms to little kids probably kind of get this on some level. It’s like, you have to fit in a workout somehow.

Why it has to be in the middle of the aisle while checking out some brightly colored paisley nighties, we’re not so sure.

Sporting flip-flops and what appear, actually, to be athletic shorts and jacket, she goes in for a deep lunge like she’s really getting after it.

What’s next, squats? Please don’t say sit-ups – not on that floor…

The preschooler riding in the shopping cart mugs for the camera. The mom wears a baby strapped to her in a fabric front pack.

That extra weight is probably really helping to strengthen those legs!

While some moms might choose to fit in some quick strengthening exercises at the park, in their yard, or in the comfort of their own homes, this mom busts them out right there in the store.

10 Does She Sport 10-Inch Worker Heels?

Um… This one almost has me at a loss for words. I try to write something about it, and then I just stare in amazement that I am actually seeing an otherwise sort of normal looking woman casually cruising the aisles of Walmart – the tallest heels I have ever seen in my life.

They also happen to be those kind that are platform heels, with the platform and stiletto spike made of clear acrylic… which have come to be associated quite strongly with a certain profession, one involving dancing and wearing little or nothing else besides said heels.

Maybe she thinks she is looking GOOD while she does her shopping.

I’ve actually done a little research for this one, and if you google “Walmart” and “stripper heels” … they come up for sale. Maybe she’s just trying them on. Can’t be buying uncomfortable shoes for work!

9 Does She REALLY Want To Get Her Money’s Worth Out Of That Front Pack?

This mother, leaning back to counteract the weight weighing her down up front, carries a son who looks probably old enough to be in elementary school in some sort of fabric baby carrier.

I guess another potential question here might be, “Does she ignore weight limits?”

I mean, some days, we all probably wish our babies could stay little forever. But then we move on and realize that it’s the real world, they have legs, and they should probably be using them.

You see this with strollers sometimes, too, with older kids riding where you’d expect a baby, although that’s somehow not as shocking since many athletic strollers have really rather high weight limits.

This can’t be safe for her son. It also probably isn’t great for her back.

They both look pretty darn casual about the whole setup though, like they’re sort of used to it.

8 Does She Call Her Kid ‘Fido’?

Just today, in a perfectly posh city – at a museum, not at a Walmart – I witnessed firsthand a kid wearing one of those “backpacks” attached to a leash. The mom had the leash part tucked up behind the pack at first, and then later, an older sibling was tugging furiously on the thing to keep her toddler brother from dashing into an open elevator as the doors closed. True story.

Plus, they still sell these at one of the most expensive and trendy baby boutiques I’ve ever seen. So people must still use them – and not just the people of Walmart.

But if you thought it was an, um, interesting choice to lead a toddler around on a little leash, how about this mom’s strategy?

She appears to be actually dragging her son behind her across that polished tile floor.

7 Does She Feed Her Baby Bulk Pringles?

Ugh… food snobbery. That is the absolute WORST, right?

Like, everything in moderation, huh? Many modern Americans (and people all over the world) have been exposed to all sorts of junk food – and eat at least some of it at least somewhat regularly.

Heck, it’s only fairly recently that they started selling whole-grain pastas at most large chain grocery stores (and if you think about it, couldn’t anything that’s a simple starch be considered “junk food”)?

The point is, we don’t all eat only nutritionally beneficial, wholesome foods all the time.

Still, there really might be something sort of hilarious about this image of a mom kneeling down to really check out that massive pack of Pringles potato chips (or are they sugary baby "puffs"?) – as her baby waits patiently in the shopping cart above.

6 Does Her Kid Ride Like Cargo?

Ah, remember those days when your sweet little baby or toddler could ride happy as a clam, safely contained within that special little buckled seat? You could be face to face as you shopped, and your little love could enjoy the ride and say high to all of the other shoppers. So sweet.

This is sort of a reinvented take on that, we suppose. I don’t think this is the officially recommended way to allow your child to ride in a shopping cart. Also, there has to be some sort of height and weight limit on these things, right?

Where one would normally stash a flat of soda, a heavy box of laundry soap, or some item too large to fit in the body of the cart rides a real live boy. His feet poke out toward the pusher of the cart, who appears to be casually chatting on her cell phone. His head pokes out of the front end of the cart, right where it could bump into any obstacles before the body of the cart hit them.

5 Does She Sport Strange Slogans?

This woman would just like everyone within a hundred yards of her to know that, in all caps, she likes it against the wall.

My most sincere hope is that she is a participant in some sort of adult handball league. Let’s just hold onto that dream for a quick moment before considering the implications of what this T-shirt’s slogan is actually trying to convey. Yikes.

Her young daughter walks beside her as they cruise the store’s aisles together.

Just wearin’ some shorts with a bright orange T-shirt boasting a wildly inappropriate slogan as I spend some quality time with my daughter – no big deal.

Is squash a game played against a wall? Maybe she’s really into that… I’m really trying to see some alternatives here, people.

The straps of her flip-flops even seem to match the color of her T, as if it was a carefully planned outfit.

4 Is She The Engine For A Train Of Sadness?

Well, if mom doesn’t have to walk around the store, then why should we?

Seriously, though, isn’t it great that motored transportation is so often available to those who need it to get around the market? That is certainly a beautiful thing.

What might not be exactly so safe or beautiful is the sight of an entire family of children being dragged across the floor of the store behind the vehicle.

They’re not even wearing pants! Imagine the friction on those bare little knees!

One of the little girls’ bellies seems to be poking out, as well. Ouch!

We’re not sure whose idea this was, but this mom of Walmart seems to be allowing it.

The much sadder alternative that we dare imagine is that she is unaware that these children are hitching a ride behind her…

3 Does She Fancy Herself To Be Booty-Licious?

Her daughter looks on at the camera and flashes a peace sign.

She, on the other hand, smiles directly at the camera as she holds in place what appears to be a giant prosthetic tushy.

Sorry to say, if you found yourself suddenly tempted to rush out to your local Walmart and buy one of these, but I think this might have been taken in a Walmart de Mexico. Just check out the signs in the background.

But really, that shouldn’t and doesn’t matter at all.

It’s the absurdity of the product being sold and the seductive pose being struck that sort of have to take center stage here, right?

We wonder if that went in the shopping cart or not after this photo was taken…

Some deals are just too good to pass up.

2 Does She Push Around Her Adult Daughter?

Well, what’s interesting about great art is that it can often present layers and layers of meaning. It all just depends how closely you look at it and how deeply you think about it.

Many might do as the woman in the foreground instructs with her pointing finger, and look into the background.

There, they would find a mother-daughter pair. The mother pushes the shopping cart while the seemingly almost full-grown daughter rides in the basket. Where will the groceries go?

But before we pass quick judgment on that pair, how about refocusing on the woman with the judgmental glare in the foreground of the image.

She may roll her eyes as she points to the events unfolding behind her, but she is the one purchasing only soda and vodka.

1 Did She Just Get Off Her Shift At The Club?

Honestly, I don’t care what people wear. I mean, I do really like clothes and handbags and shoes and think they can be quite artistic and interesting and reflective of the wearer’s mood and the societal situation in general… but I don’t think anyone really needs to feel the need to censor themselves.

Wear what you have that makes you happy, right?

And what makes this mother happy, as she carries her young tot high atop her shoulders, is to wear sheer black tights paired with tiny black hot pants. (In case you didn’t know, that’s another name for those itty-bitty stretchy shorts.)

A racer-back tank in a black geometric print is up top, paired with a non-racerback bra. The entire ensemble seems to be intentionally matched to that long, jet-black hair.

References: Google.com, PeopleOfWalmart.com

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