A lot of moms have to return to work after they have a baby, and the maternal leave guidelines in the US can mean that moms are returning to work just weeks after they have their baby. This is not something that is easy, and it can be incredibly difficult for a lot of moms out there. The idea of leaving their newborn, or a very young infant, in a daycare, can be frightening. It also doesn’t matter if they are going to an institutionalized daycare, or if mom has a family member who can watch their baby.
That is possible because it is not always thoughts of safety that mom is overwhelmed with, it is feelings of guilt. Moms can put a lot of guilt on themselves when they return to work because they feel like they should be home with their infant. However, a lot of moms have to return to work to be able to provide for and support their families. Guilt may seem inevitable, but there are ways to manage it and possibly overcome it as a new working mom.
The Cause Of Mom Guilt
According to Healthline, mom guilt is a complex idea that has many causes. Mom guilt can stem from personal insecurities and judgments that mom holds on herself, but it can also have external sources. Mom guilt can stem from what we see in society, from conversations heard at a mom group to posts we see on social media. The societal pressure of what it means to be a “good mom” and a lot of them are portrayed as a mom being home with her children.
There Are No “Rules”
According to Very Well Family, mom guilt can come from the “rules” of motherhood that moms think exist. If a woman had a mom who stayed home and took care of her and her siblings then a rule may have been established that this is what a good mom does, and since mom cannot do the same (or doesn’t want to) then she may feel like she is breaking the rules. An important step in overcoming this guilt is letting all of this go. You make your own rules for your family because it is your unique family that works in its own way.
Physical Acts
Mom guilt can trigger stress and anxiety in women, and it can have a big impact on their mental health. The good news is that we already know what mom can do to calm herself down. If mom is on her way to work and she feels like the guilt is giving her some anxiety, it is good to sit in the car and practice some deep breaths. Continue to do this until mom feels herself calm down enough to let it go and move on with her day.
Look At The Bigger Picture
Motherhood is overwhelming and sometimes the best thing you can do is constantly remind yourself that you are doing the best you can and that is enough. According to Forbes, to overcome mom guilt, it can help to look at the bigger picture. Are your children happy, healthy, and safe? If the answer is yes (which it likely will be), then you are doing a great time. It may seem silly, but repeating a mantra to yourself can really go a long way to gaining the confidence you need, and leaving the guilt in the garbage.
Sources: Healthline, Very Well Family, Forbes