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Pregnancy + Sex—The What, Where, How and When Answered

Does it feel like centuries ago when sex didn’t feel this complicated? You and your partner enjoyed it without thinking about anything else. But now, things have changed. With a living human being growing inside you, suddenly, [pregnancy + sex] is an equation that is hard to grasp.

For some, sex and pregnancy is like mixing nachos with chocolate or salsa with bananas. For others, it is a mathematical function that couples won’t bother solving. However, this shouldn’t be the case at all. While you are now a soon-to-be mother, do not forget that you are also a wife to your husband. He has needs too. Hence, striking a balance between having a safe pregnancy and enjoying your relationship and marriage with your spouse is valuable.

The secret to a rewarding sexual experience during pregnancy is knowing the facts. What should you do? How should you do it? When should you do it? Where should you do it? Getting a great deal of information about pregnancy sex seems like a daunting task at first. But hey, if investing time to read will help you achieve that Big O for you and your husband, that’s a great return on investment!

Orgasm, is that even possible? YES and that’s a big yes for you. Climaxing is very possible during pregnancy. But then again, it is very important to put your pregnancy’s safety first all the time. So, without further ado, these are the facts you need to know about pregnancy sex:

7 Pregnancy + Sex = Right Mindset

All of a sudden, pregnancy sex has become a delicate topic for husband and wife. Before, you can openly talk about your sexual desires for one another. Now, there is a weird awkwardness in the air.

Ladies:

For pregnant women in their first trimester, the usual case is the lack of sexual drive. At this time, pregnant women are dealing with the onset of pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness, fatigue, nausea and exhaustion. Combine all this together, then you just have a woman who wants to sleep on the bed all day and not exert any effort. Plus, the hormonal changes aren’t really helping any pregnant woman too.

Gents:

For the men, there is hesitation to ask if you want to do the deed. They see you vomiting, complaining about the discomfort and of course, see you sleep like you haven’t slept for days. And if they just ask you to make love with them, it makes them look insensitive and inconsiderate right? While your husband truly understands what you are going through, the fact that their sexual desire and interest doesn’t dwindle whether you are pregnant or not is a factor to consider.

To be honest, men have it tougher. While women are faced with physical limitations, men have to go through mental limitations. For fathers-to-be, the immediate question is “ Will I hurt the baby inside?” If you don’t know how to answer him, then he will eventually not want to have sex with you out of fear.

Solution:

Seeing both sides of the coin, you now have a good idea why having the RIGHT MINDSET is important for successful lovemaking when you’re pregnant. For both of you, it is important to set your mind to the sexual activity you’re doing. Any mental distraction will instantly diminish sexual interest.

Ladies, tell your husband that it is okay to make love because the penis will not touch the baby inside. The fetus is protected by the amniotic fluid in the uterus. The muscles of the uterus also protect the baby. Comfort your husband and say that sexual activity will not affect the baby.

As for you, you have to be comfortable. When you feel pain and discomfort, the sex won’t be good for you and your partner will get that feeling too. Don’t feel guilty that you have no sexual interest and cannot please your husband right now. Find comfort in knowing that you are not alone and you are not the only one feeling this way.

6  Pregnancy + Sex= Best Time

We’ve discussed that any distraction can cause your sexual interest to go downhill. Additionally, sexual arousal won’t be as easy too. What’s the best way to deal with these distractions? Eliminate them in the equation by knowing the BEST TIME to have sex.

Ladies:

There is the right, wrong and best time to have sex. During the first trimester, pregnant women tend to forget their interest in sexual activity—it gets that bad. They can’t be bothered with it. Imagine, you have to deal with the worry of making sure the fetus is growing right and at the same time, deal with all the nasty symptoms. Not to mention, the worst pregnancy symptoms strike in the first three months.

It is completely understandable that sex isn’t even a word in your dictionary right now. And if it seems like your body has no recollection of what sex is, let it be. The first trimester is truly overwhelming and it will affect you physically, mentally and emotionally. Your mood swings like a pendulum and there’s no telling if you’ll be the same person after an hour or two (haha).

But you say, the first trimester is your only time to have sex because your tummy isn’t big enough. If your tummy grows, it will be harder to make love. That is partially true. By the third trimester, your tummy is bigger and heavier and it will be harder to move around. For many couples, they don’t feel comfortable doing it at this time too.

Gents:

Unfortunately, there’s no other way to deal with finding the right time than just to wait it out. If you are not ready in the first three months and can’t maneuver your way by the last three months of your pregnancy, then your husband will just have to patient.

Solution

I didn’t mention anything about the second trimester yet, have I? Well, that’s because these three months in between is the best time to make sweet love to one another. The morning sickness and nausea are less or have already bid farewell. The estrogen hormones grow in number. As a result, the body feels less stressed and eager to have sex.

On the other hand, not every pregnant woman can have sex. If you are having a high-risk pregnancy, you cannot just have sex whenever you please. Always consult your OB-GYN and check if sex is okay for you. Women who are at risk of pre-term labor and placenta previa are advised to avoid sexual intercourse. Additionally, pregnant women are advised to refrain from having sex until the 6-week check up too.

5  Pregnancy + Sex= Comfortable sex positions

For the next nine months or so, you will have to set aside your acrobatic moves and Kama Sutra escapades. You have the permission to have sex, but you must do it the right way. There’s a little fetus growing inside you and its safety is the priority.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you cannot enjoy sex due to the limited positions. The key to enjoyable and rewarding sex is to do it the comfortable way.

First Trimester

The first trimester is the easiest time to make love since the baby bump hasn’t grown too much yet. You can still move around comfortably and your partner isn’t being too cautious too. The only thing that can get in your way are the pregnancy symptoms at this time of pregnancy.

The missionary position is still applicable during the first trimester. With the fetus still very small, lying on your back and carrying a bit of your partner’s weight shouldn’t hurt at all. For some pregnant women, lying down helps lessen the nausea. But for some, lying down while having sex makes them feel more dizzy. Hence, it will really depend on you.

Second Trimester

By the second trimester, you have grown a baby bump, but it is still not too big and heavy too. And as I’ve mentioned, this is the perfect time period to have a lot of sex. By this time, your estrogen hormones are rising and this is causing you to feel more aroused than usual. The increase in your libido and sexual interest can surprise your husband, but trust me, he likes it!

On your 4th to 6th month of pregnancy, it is best that you stay away from the missionary position and embrace other comfortable positions. Try these:

  • Spoon- The spoon is a great sex position for pregnancy sex. You are relaxed lying down and your husband will penetrate slowly from behind. This makes for a gentler sexual experience, while making you feel comfortable throughout. After the sex, you may continue spooning and cuddling.
  • Woman on Top- You staying on top is amongst the most recommended position from health experts. That’s because you are not bearing any weight and you can control the depth of penetration as well as the pace of the thrusts. This position is highly advised since women have more control of their comfort level. Try facing your partner or the opposite side—either way will work.
  • Sit on Him- Have your partner sit down and stay on top while facing away from him. Let him support your tummy while you do your thing.
  • Edge of the Bed- Pregnant women swear by this position. Lie at the edge of the bed while your partner kneels down a bit to do a somewhat missionary position. Except this time, there’s no weight for you to bear.
  • Rear Entry- Rear entry sex is still okay as long as you make sure to keep your balance.

Third Trimester

Your tummy is huge. By this time, the best position is woman on top only.

By the way, anal sex is not allowed throughout the entire pregnancy. I highly even doubt you’ll think about it given the discomfort the hemorrhoids will give you.

4  Pregnancy + Sex= The Use of Mouth and Hands

So, what if you and your husband do not want to have uncomfortable sex. You want the Big O, but engaging in too much physical activity is not your cup of tea as of the moment. Is oral sex allowed?

Ladies

The mouth does wonders when your husband’s ultimate sex weapon is out of order. So that’s a resounding YES. Oral sex is allowed and it really gives pregnant women pleasure considering how sensitive it is down there during this time.

Oral stimulation is great as long as your husband doesn’t have a sore in his mouth. If the sore is due to herpes, it can cause birth defects in the baby. Your husband cannot blow air into the vagina too. If this happens, air embolism can happen and this is life-threatening for the baby.

What about your hands? The hands serve their purpose too. Your husband’s hands are not only there to caress the body, but to also stimulate and give you maximum pleasure. If your enlarged breasts aren’t too sore anymore, you can let the husband touch it already. That should make your body sexually excited. Down there, the husband can also touch you until you climax. There’s no problem with that.

As for the fingers, the fingers can also provide sexual satisfaction at this time. Fingering is allowed and will not pose any threat to the baby. However, fingers used for penetrating should always be clean to avoid bacteria going into the uterus.

Gents:

Now, you don’t expect the man to always pleasure you right? You must take turns, don’t be selfish now (although you can be because you just say so!). Giving oral pleasure will not affect him in any way. Now this may sound a bit raunchy and I know you’re thinking it right now. YES, it is safe to swallow sperm. It will not make you pregnant again. The baby will not have any of it in its system. And it won’t affect your nutrition too. Okay, moving on!

3  Pregnancy + Sex= Use Sex Toys

Does pregnancy sex mean that you have to get rid of the sex toys you love? If you are the adventurous kind and you and your husband love the toys, the good news is that you can still use them. What’s really important here is that you make 100% sure that the toys are clean.

Clean Them

The point of cleaning is to avoid any possible vaginal infection caused by bacteria. As you may know, any vaginal infection may affect the fetus and force premature labor. Since you’re pregnant, you cannot just take any antibiotics. You won’t be able to use vaginal suppositories too. Hence, it is important that you avoid getting any vaginal infection during pregnancy.

Go Solo

Sex toys are great for both foreplay and climaxing. In fact, if you plan to go solo, sex toys come in very handy too. What you must know is that there is an increase in blood flow to a woman’s genital during pregnancy. It makes you more sensitive down there, so using sex toys will give you great pleasure.

Focus on the G

If you’re not fond of penetration at this time, sex toys that focus on the clitoris and g-spot is what you will need. These things should make you see ponies and rainbows in just minutes of action.

Don’t Use Them if…

BUT, you can’t use sex toys all the time, especially if your pregnancy is fragile. If you have a weak cervix, you can’t use your toys. If your placenta is lying low and is at risk of pre-term labor, you need to set aside the toys in the meantime. If you currently have a vaginal infection, using one can worsen it.

A little bleeding after sex or using sex toys is said to be normal. However, it is always best to talk to your doctor about any bleeding that occurs. Also, be reminded that sex toys are made of rubber and hard plastic, which could be rough on your sensitive genitals. Word of Advice: Keep calm and you’ll get there!

2  Pregnancy + Sex= Unforgettable Orgasm

Orgasms are intense during pregnancy. You might actually experience the best orgasms in your life. The sensations in your body are going haywire and the genitals are filled with blood. When you have sex or oral sex, orgasms are inevitable.

The Good

There are so many awesome things about orgasm during pregnancy. For one, it makes you feel better. It is actually described to be a stress reliever, which helps the pregnant woman calm down and help lower blood pressure. Not to mention, climaxing helps you achieve quality sleep and you really need it at this time.

Do you know why you suddenly feel the need to touch your husband or be close to him after your climax? It’s because orgasm is so intimate. With the pregnancy stress and pressure that you and your husband feel, orgasms can actually keep you closer together. According to Parents.com, studies show that during orgasm, the bonding hormone oxytocin is released and this boosts emotional attachment between couples.

The Bad

The only downside of orgasm is that it makes the cervix contract, which is not really good for some pregnant women who have high-risk pregnancies. If you are experiencing contractions way before the due date, you will not be advised to have sexual activities.

The Good (again)

But despite having these contractions during a normal pregnancy, you should know that it will not affect labor. It is a misconception that orgasms will induce labor. Even if you have sex weeks before you are due, an orgasm will not induce labor.

Another misconception is that orgasm can cause premature labor or birth. No, this isn’t true as well. Premature labor happens, but it won’t be caused by orgasms.

However, what’s true is that if you’re already on your due date or past it, having sexual intercourse can help in your delivery. The semen actually helps ripen the cervix and prepares the fetus to go down and go out. So if you’re already overdue, have more sex!

1  Pregnancy + Sex= Sexy confidence

Are you wondering why confidence is a huge part of pregnancy sex? Before I answer this, ask yourself, how confident are you now? You have a big tummy, your nipples are bigger, your areola is darker, your tummy has stretch marks, your feet are swollen and your armpits are probably darker now too. So, how confident are you?

A woman’s confidence can really be affected during pregnancy because every pregnant woman goes through a physical roller coaster ride. It’s like fighting every single day just to get through it without any aches and pains. A woman’s confidence goes down due to the huge physical changes. You feel like you don’t look pretty anymore. You feel like you’re not as attractive anymore. And you feel like your husband won’t be interested to have sex with you anymore.

The lower confidence affects your sex drive. If you’re not comfortable with your body and your mind is filled with insecurities, that is what you’ll show. If your husband sees this from you, he will choose not to engage in sexual intercourse. He thinks that you are uninterested and just not in the mood. BUT, that isn’t the case, right?

Know that our confidence level affects your ability to make love make great love to your husband. To boost the confidence, you can get a new hairstyle or shop for sexy maternity clothes. You can even buy sexy pregnant lingeries to show your husband that you are proud of your body and baby bump.

Exude confidence. Exude sexiness. Nothing is sexier to a man than a confident lady. Don’t always wait for your husband to make a move. Make the first move!

Play fantasy dress-up if you have to. Be a nurse, a school girl or a dominatrix. A big belly shouldn’t stop you from doing this. Show your husband you are interested, that you want to be sexually fulfilled. If you send these messages to your husband, he will also feel confident in making love to you.

And please don’t worry, you will always be beautiful to your husband, pregnant or not pregnant. Truth be told, your husband sees you in a different light now and seeing that you are carrying his child inside you, it already makes you more beautiful in his eyes.

Sex during pregnancy can really be fun as long as you know when to do it, how to do it, where to do it and what you need to do it. Climax like you’ve never had before and enjoy every single bit of the experience. Keep it gentle girls!

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