Motherhood is joyful. Motherhood is rewarding. It is full of moments of complete bliss, immense happiness and absolute fear. Yes, fear.
If you read this and it resonates to your core, know: you're not alone.
Motherhood is widely discussed as an incredible journey in one's life. It is one of the most selfless and (truly) rewarding "jobs" that someone can take on.
Whether it's embraced with open arms 0r hesitantly agreed to (it's ok if you weren't 100% sold on the idea), every single mother has had a moment of sheer panic and terror. No matter how little or small, we have all experienced the anxiety and concern which motherhood so graciously brings.
Motherhood is not all rainbows and butterflies. And, that's ok.
10 BIRTH IS JUST THE BEGINNING
If you had a moment post-labour where you think to yourself, oh my gosh, this wasn't even the most difficult part... then, you're absolutely not alone.
Giving birth or going through the adoption processes takes an incredible amount of strength and endurance.
We are conditioned to put so much energy into the process it takes to actually get our child, that many times it does not actually hit us how giving birth and/or receiving our child was actually the easiest part. The difficulty has just begun...
We've all been through it and know its wrath. But, when we are on the other side of the receiving end it's absolutely horrifying.
Of course parents are discussing this issue; validating their fears and concerns they have anticipating the year(s) where it suddenly arrives. But, every parent is anxious for puberty to hit their "little baby". It's (frankly) horrible.
As mothers with a daughters, they often prepare years in advance to discuss and tackle menstruation. Though this topic should be discussed to females, males and/or non-binary children, parents tend to put more stress on their children who will first-hand experience the period. (Though, let's be honest: it effect every single person female or not).
Don't worry — you're not alone.
8 THE INTERNET
Oh, the glorious internet. The place where you can find immense amount of information and knowledge, but also unsupervised chat-rooms where you've heard many horror stories of child abductions and much more. *Cue the anxiety*.
Don't worry: we are all horrified at its unlimited amount of problems it may pertain.
As long as we raise our children to know right from wrong, to go with their intuition and know the power of the word "no", we should be fine...right?
Teach your child the importance of limiting screen-time and the reason we do so.
Many times, we can't control everything we'd like to. We must hold faith in their competence, morals and values. Even during these young years.
7 A STUBBORN CHILD
Stubbornness in young children is not a negative trait to have. They are showing their power, their needs and their ability to know what they want — when they want.
(Tell that to a parent who has been spending all day cooking, cleaning and, ya...keeping care of a toddler who is prone to daily tantrums).
It is incredibly difficult to raise a tiny human who is naturally stubborn: it will make you feel like you're going absolutely mad at times.
Remember: this trait will in fact help them in their future. Stay calm and... breathe. Just, breathe.
6 LOSS OF CONTROL
A common feeling and struggle many mothers face: loss of control.
Whether it's the simple act of a crying baby in the middle of the night, unable to sooth. Or, the inability to provide better marks in your child's algebra class (because, let's face it: we haven't studied that subject in years). It is common to feel at a loss when it's a situation you can no longer control.
When you suddenly come from a life lived solely for yourself to one where you're often putting yourself last — it can take a toll on your mental state. And, that is absolutely horrifying. But, we all experience a loss of control in one way or another.
5 YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE TO KEEP SOMEONE (ELSE) ALIVE
Speaking of horrifying...*gasp*.
We all have those moments of: Wow, I'm really doing this! And yes, you sure are. You're keeping a human alive — who relies solely on you to feed them, to change them, to put them to sleep, to make sure they're hydrated, to calm them, to nurse them...the list goes on!
How did our parents do this with such grace? Such little stress? They sure were good at hiding it...because parenting is no joke. It's incredibly hard. But, we're doing it!
4 BREASTFEEDING CAN BE PAINFUL
#fedisbest is taking a stand and we are here for it. Whether you have decided to breastfeed, bottle-feed or a mixture of both: whatever choice you make is yours and yours alone.
The convenience of breastfeeding can (at times) be absolutely wonderful — though many do not warn you of the pain you may experience.
That first last is the oddest sensation. Then, the cracked nipples, blocked ducts and potential mastitis can sneak up out of nowhere.
Well, welcome to the journey of breastfeeding! The truths that many do not discuss, yet most all of us experience.
3 YOU’RE (LIKELY) SLEEP DEPRIVED
Ha...."likely". We mean — you're absolutely sleep deprived.
Whether you are sleep-training your baby, toddler or child at night (or not), you are still experiencing a "new type" of tired. It's the Mother Exhaustion which hits you full-force as soon as this title can be applied.
The New Born stage tends to be a blur. The toddler stage is a mixture of frustration and impatience, the childhood worries may keep you awake at night and the teenage stage is a whole-new ball game.
When you're warned that you may not get a full-night's rest for 18 years, "they" may not have been exaggerating.
2 FILTERING RECOMMENDATIONS
There's nothing like receiving parenting advice from someone who has never parented before. And yes, we all get those comments and concerns from those who are child-less.
Though, one of the most frustrating is when our own parents and/or in-laws tell us how or what to do with our own child.
By all means — many people's intentions are good and they simply want to help out a loved one; however, when you're exhausted and have yet to shower, the last thing you want is for someone to tell you how to parent.
Be warned: people love to tell you how to live your life. This does not change when you become a mother. Be strong, know your worth and know it's your life (and your child's).
You will soon perfect which comments to retain and which to filter.
1 YOU WILL LOSE PEOPLE
It is a real and sad (yet empowering) fact that when your life changes your circle tends to change, too. That is ok. Friends will come and go. Each one arrives for a specific reason at each chapter in your life.
When you take on motherhood, those who have yet to experience its demands may not understand why you can't come out for drinks after work. Some friends may want to go away on vacation and don't know why you'd rather splurge on a new SUV (for your family) yet won't put money down on an all-inclusive get-away.
You may loose a friend or two when motherhood arrives. But, trust us when we tell you: you'll gain a best friend the moment you become a parent. And, you will find like-minded individuals as your parenthood journey continues.