Losing a baby never comes easy. Whether it is through stillbirth, miscarriage or even shortly after birth, the grief is overwhelming. If truth be told, there’s an extensive support system initially upon the loss of a baby that will cry with you and provide you with all you need to deal with your grief, but with the passage of time, this support group is sure to fade away.
In such times, making it through everyday life can get rather distressing. The struggle is very real and will not get you anywhere. For this reason, it’s extremely important for you to remember your lost child and honor him. Talk about him and help your family members and friends remember him too. Trust me, honoring your baby is going to make it fairly easy for you to move on. Here are a few ways for you to remember the child you have lost:
10 Celebrate your deceased baby’s birthday
In order to honor your deceased baby’s memory, you could celebrate their birthday just as you would have had they been alive. To get started, prepare a delicious dinner and fix up a yummy dessert as well to celebrate the day. Talk about him and if you had time to share with him, then tell your family members and friends stories of him. Write a card for him and get a present too.
To complete the party, try to get a cake (or bake one) or serve ice cream with all the works. Make sure that you sing Happy Birthday to your baby as well, even if it breaks your heart. On the whole, this party needs to be a celebration of your child’s life no matter how small it was. While you are at it, you can make things even more special by making and watching a slideshow your child’s pictures along with family members and friends.
9 Release doves
One of the most beautiful ways to celebrate and remember your child is to release doves. Pick a special place to release a dove and invite your loved ones to join you. If you want, you can even attach a letters to the foot or a note describing your little one to make it extra special.
You can do this on your baby’s birthday or on his Heaven Day. If you want, you can even write a message or verse that has special meaning to you so it reaches your baby in heaven!
In order to honor and remember your baby, you should put up photos of him around your home. If you want, there are many amazing artists out there who create memorial portraits that you might want to display around your house. Also, if you lost your baby due to a miscarriage, you could have a copy of your ultrasound framed in your bedroom just to remember him.
7 Create a website or a blog in his memory
One of the best means of remembering the child you have lost is to create a blog or a website dedicated to him. This is basically going to make it easier for you to pour your heart out and write about how you feel about his demise. You can even write about how bad you wish he was here with you.
In your blog, you can write entries where you speak out your true feelings, upload photos that you might have taken in the hospital, write poetry dedicated to your precious baby, and even put up a playlist of songs that remind you of him. Apart from all that, you may also consider putting up links to support groups that may help other grieving mothers.
If you want, you can also provide links to advocacy groups that are focused on the legislation on stillborn research and parents’ rights (in case your baby was a stillborn child).
6 Plan out a service project
In order to honor your baby, you can donate to the NICU, make donations to a food bank, bake cookies and serve them to local firemen or policemen, help out at a food kitchen that serves homeless people, find another angel family and donate a bear to them, help out an elderly family member or neighbor or even donate to a cause in your child’s name.
Simply put, there are countless different ways of serving people around you who you believe are in need – and honestly, it’s one of the best means of remembering and honoring your precious child. Consider the different options you have and choose one or a few that you think you can easily handle.
5 Hold on to physical memories
It’s highly recommended you hold on to your child’s physical memories in order to honor him. Even if your child’s death was sudden and you didn’t have much time to prepare or have plenty of physical memories with your little one, whatever little you have should be held onto.
If you have a few photos of your child and his footprint, even these need to be kept safe so you can view them whenever you start feeling upset over his passing.
There are plenty of reasons why you should to hold on to physical memories of your child. When you start feeling depressed, you can always take out the memorial items that you’ve held on to after the death of your child and reminiscence over the times – no matter how brief– that you got to share with him.
4 Plant a special garden or tree in his memory
By planting a tree or a special garden to honor your baby’s memory, you will have a special place completely dedicated to your child. The best part is that you can use this space to visit, sit and remember your precious angel.
If you don’t have a garden, you may want to imagine and create a gorgeous garden for your lost child. Also, if you have surviving children, make them a part of the whole process. If they want, your children can also create their own memory stone for the garden.
In case you plant a tree to honor your baby, your children can also spend a bit of time at its base and reminiscence over the times they spent with him or think about the things they could have done had he not passed away.
3 Celebrate All Souls' Day
Although celebrated in Mexico, All Souls' Day is one that you should consider celebrating as well in honor of your deceased child. This particular day is celebrated on the second of November and is known as Día de los Santos or All Souls' Day.
On this day, there are many special things that you can do to honor the memory of your child. For instance, you can cook up a delicious dinner and talk about your precious angel as the whole family gets together to eat. If you want, you can even invite close family members and friends for lunch or dinner on this special occasion. As all of you get together, dealing with the pain of losing your beloved child, irrespective of whether you lost him through stillbirth, miscarriage or shortly after birth will be much easier.
2 Perform random acts of kindness
Performing random acts of kindness is one of the most positive things you can do to honor your child’s memory. Not only is this means of remembering your lost child simple in most cases, but it doesn’t have to cost you anything and it’s guaranteed to lift your spirits too.
There are many different things you can do if you put this into action in a way to remember your deceased child. For instance, you can commit to performing one random act a day, or make it an annual event – it doesn’t matter because all that matters is that you’re doing something to benefit someone else.
The best part is that this approach to honoring your child will go a long way in making your community and the world at large a much better place to live.
1 Help other parents and make dedications
There are a number of things you can dedicate in honor of your precious angel. For instance, it could be a bench at the local playground, or maybe a stone for him. You could even name a star after your child or dedicate a tree to him in an ornamental garden.
You can carve your baby’s name in stone or wood, and truly have a beautiful memorial to visit whenever you feel like it.
Apart from that, you might think about helping out other parents who have lost their children. If possible, start a charitable group that focuses on donating things to parents who have suffered a loss. There’s also the option of volunteering as a grief counselor if you’re interested in honoring your child in this meaningful way.