10 Ways To Keep The Flame Burning While Raising Kids

It can be challenging for partners to feel connected after they become parents. The demands of parenthood can be so draining that the last thing on anyone’s mind is being intimate. The harsh truth is, both partners need affection and ignoring this crucial aspect of a relationship can have dire consequences.

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Don’t panic if it’s been a while since things have gotten spicy in the bedroom. There are small steps couples can take to reignite the romance. From leaving sweet love notes to planning a romantic getaway, these gestures will go a long way. Please enjoy this list of 10 ways to keep the flame burning while raising kids.

10 Schedule Regular Date Nights

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If you have access to a trusted babysitter or relatives nearby to watch the kids, it’s so important that you make dating your partner a priority. Your relationship will be much stronger if you carve out some much-needed adult time to get out of the house together.

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Even one date night a month is enough to help you reconnect as a couple. Part of the fun is the anticipation of having a kid-free night on the horizon. It’s even more effective if you can manage one date night a week. Planning an activity that you’ve never done together will make you feel even closer.

9 Be Affectionate With Each Other

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Small gestures can go a long when it comes to keeping things spicy with your partner. Motherhood can make a woman feel totally “touched out”, especially if she’s nursing. The kids are always hanging on you or your bed is overtaken by a cranky toddler.

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The last thing you want to do is be touched at the end of the day. The truth is, you still need affection and your partner does too. So, make it a point to hug, kiss, and cuddle often. The more affection that you can give each other, the happier both of you will feel.

8 Get Your Flirt On

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While we’re on the subject of touch, it’s so fun to be flirty with your partner. Remember what attracted you to each other in the first place? Chances are, there was a time before you had kids that the two of you totally flirted. Try to recapture that playfulness.

Leave each other sweet notes around the house. Send him a naughty text that you lets him know that you’re thinking of him and give him something to look forward to when he gets home. Chances are, you’ll fall right back into the fun couple you were before you became parents.

7 Focus On Dates At Home

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If it’s just not possible for you and your partner to find a babysitter or you can’t afford to go out, be sure to plan dates at home. Something as simple as eating a picnic in bed can be romantic and fun. Go all out and build a blanket fort in your bedroom or keep it simple and watch a movie on the couch together.

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The important thing is to make time for each other. Put away your cell phones, snuggle up, and find a way to reconnect. Planning a weekly date night in will do wonders for your relationship.

6 Get In The Mood


It can be challenging to switch from mommy-mode to being present with your partner. The demands of motherhood can make it hard to be in the mood for romance. So, take a few moments for yourself after the kids go to bed.

Take a bubble bath to soothe those achy muscles. Drink a glass of wine to help you loosen up if that’s what you need. Put on some lacy lingerie and get in the mindset of feeling frisky. Do whatever it takes to help you feel primed and ready for action. You’ll be so happy that you did and your partner will appreciate the effort.

5 Set The Scene

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It’s important that you and your partner set the scene to create the most romantic environment possible. One effective way to do this for one of you do a sweep of the living room and remove all baby gear or kid toys. Tidy up the room so that there isn’t clutter scattered about.

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It’s hard to be in the mood when a pile of laundry is plopped onto your bed. Straighten up the room, turn down the lights, and light some candles. It may seem like a pain to do all the extra work but you’ll settle in for a fun night much faster if the stage is set.

4 Practice Self-Care

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One of the most crucial steps you can take to reconnect with your partner is to make sure that you’re connecting with yourself. It’s all-too-easy to get lost in motherhood. We spend so much time taking care of everyone else that we forget to take care of ourselves.

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Make self-care a priority. “Me time” looks different for everybody. Some women like to meditate or do yoga. Other moms like to write in a journal or take up a new hobby. You’ll much be more likely to feel frisky if you tend to of your mind, body, and spirit.

3 Take A Vacation Together

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The best-case scenario for keeping the flame burning with your partner is to go on a kid-free vacation together. It’s so good to get away from your busy schedules and parenting duties. Taking a break and getting away will do wonders for your relationship.

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Even a quick weekend away together can recharge you as a couple. With the demands of work and motherhood put on hold, you can find the time to have fun and reconnect. You’ll both return feeling more relaxed and chances are, it will kick-start some much-needed intimacy that will last well after you return home.

2 Whip Up A Spicy Dish

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Another way to inject some romance into your relationship is to cook a romantic meal together. Put the kids to bed, head for the kitchen, and strap on an apron (and nothing else if you’re feeling daring). You can make preparing the meal playful and feed each other nibbles as you go.

Set a romantic table by lighting candles and enjoy a yummy meal by candlelight. If you’re not feeling that industrious, something as simple as making homemade pizzas can be fun. The important thing is that you’re spending quality time together. Eating spicy food can certainly set the mood.

1 Keep The Lines Of Communication Open

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The single most important thing that you can do as lovers is to keep the lines of communication open. If you’re having a rough week and just don’t have the energy, let your partner know that you need a break to recharge. Chances are, they’ll run the babble bath for you.

If you need your partner to step up and plan a date night because you’re just too exhausted, don’t be afraid to tell them what you need. We can’t read each other’s minds so talking about your needs and desires will bring you closer, which is a good thing.

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