Where do I even begin?
If you're having a hard time this week, I'm sorry. For whatever reason you're struggling, I'm sorry. I wish I could snap my fingers and make life a little easier for you, if even for just a day.
I'm so tired. Watching the news this past week has emotionally and mentally exhausted me. Yes, I planned an awesome Saturday morning with the kids. My husband stayed home working while the toddler, the baby, and I went to a Touch-A-Truck event. We stayed for about an hour and a half and even got to watch a helicopter land about 40 yards from where we stood! By all accounts, it was a beautiful fall morning with some of my favorite people on the planet. After a quick run to the grocery store, we all came home and had lunch together. My toddler went down for his nap, my baby nursed and went down for her nap. Instead of taking a few moments to sit still, I ran another errand.
And on the way home, I felt the weight of everything that had pummeled my heart this week. Instead of righteous anger, I felt only heartbroken. Tears started to well up in my eyes. I choked them back; I needed to get home safely and see clearly while I was driving. Within minutes of walking into the door, an old friend reached out to me and offered her kindness and support. She understood where I was coming from - she had been witness to my dark times, walking alongside me. And most importantly, she believed me.
I just broke, y'all. My husband held me while I sobbed and let the pain flow.
After I had dried my tears, I asked my husband to call his mom. No, I didn't want advice or need a shoulder to cry on. I needed backup. My well-being is under attack, it seems from all sides, and I need someone to take my kids off my hands so I can clear my mind.
Sometimes self-care means calling in the reinforcements. The luckiest parents have loads of backup that live nearby. They can call family or friends at any hour, night or day, and drop the kids off without saying a word. Even though we're new to the area I have been blessed to have wonderful friends who have watched my kids for me, and I've been able to return the favor. But this? This level of exhaustion demands a few days of rest.
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically - I'm nearly tapped out. Thankfully, my in-laws welcome my kids with open arms and they're close enough that we can usually finagle a drop-off with a few days' notice. To be clear, it's not that my kids are driving me up the wall. Yes, they have done that before and will no doubt do it again for the rest of my life. This is a different type of tired. This is a beaten-down that extends to the core of my being, not just to my mothering. This is a can't-take-it-anymore that requires rest to recover. Self-care isn't always feasible; this time, it's not optional.
How are you taking care of yourself this week? Have you called in your own reinforcements? Who watches your kids for you while you take a much-needed break from momming? Tell me on Twitter @pi3sugarpi3.