Shawn Johnson planned to have a natural birth when she recently welcomed her first child. But, after having an unplanned C-section, the athlete admits she felt guilty.
The new mother uploaded a candid post to Instagram detailing her experience with a caesarean section. She endured almost a full day of labor before doctors told her she wasn’t going to be able to deliver her baby naturally. Johnson says she felt guilty over having an epidural (which she rested for the majority of her labor), but she felt even worse when she realized her birth planned had been completely upturned.
“22 hours of labor to end in a c section,” she wrote in the caption “I went in with such a stubborn mindset of thinking the only way I could bring our baby into the world was naturally. No meds, no intervention. At 14 hours when I chose to get an epidural, I felt guilty. At 22 hours when we were told I had to get a C-section, I felt like I had failed.”
The post was accompanied by a black-and-white photo of Johnson and her husband, Andrew East, cuddling their newborn baby shortly after her birth. Johnson and East have been married since 2016. They previously went through a miscarriage, which they have both been extremely open about via social media.
However, she went on to explain that her feelings of guilt soon subsided when she met her little girl. “After holding our sweet girl in my arms and being told everything went well and she had made it to us safely, I could have cared less,” she wrote. “My/our world no longer has anything to do with us but everything to do with her. It’s all for her and I will forever do anything for this girl that I love more than I ever could imagine. A love no one can ever prepare you for.”
This isn’t the only time Johnson had admitted to feeling bad for having a C-section. Shortly after their daughter’s birth, the couple uploaded a Vlog to YouTube that explored the delivery. When Shawn elected to have an epidural, she told the camera from her hospital bed, “I’m weak. I’m getting an epidural. I should be able to do it naturally.”
There’s absolutely no shame in getting a C-section or epidural during labor. All that matters is that the baby and mom make are healthy and happy in the end.