Pregnant Shawn Johnson recently revealed she didn’t realize how much she wanted children until she experienced a miscarriage.
The athlete opened up about the difficult subject during the October 20th episode of Miraculous Mama. She said the miscarriage completely changed her and her husband, Andrew East’s, perspective on starting a family. “It was a surprise for both of us and we ended up losing … that pregnancy,” Shawn told the show’s host Elizabeth Presta.
She explained how her mindset went from “‘Holy, crap we’re going to have a kid,'” to “We’re ready to have a kid and like we want nothing else.” “As soon as I miscarried, I was like, ‘I want to try again. Like I want to still be pregnant, I want to do this,’” the 27-year old explained.
However, despite being so ready to try again after losing her first pregnancy, Shawn said her husband encouraged her to take things slowly.
“My husband was kind of like, ‘I think we need to take a break. I think we need to heal from this and process everything,’” she revealed. “I went through that whole phase of it, it was almost like a postpartum depression because you have all these hormones leaving your body, which you have to deal with on top of the mentality, like the mental side of processing what it is you did just go through.”
Currently, the couple is mere weeks away from welcoming their first child- a baby boy. Though Shawn knew she wanted a child badly before becoming pregnant again this time, she admitted during the episode that she still doesn’t feel completely ready to bring new life into the world.
“I don’t feel like you’re ever ready to have a kid. Even now, like I’m ready to, I’m getting ready to pop a kid out here any day,” Shawn explained. “I don’t feel ready. I don’t feel like you’re ever totally ready ‘because you don’t feel like you’re, you know, financially there, or [that] you have the home or you have the stability.”
This wasn’t the first time Shawn has opened up about her past miscarriage. In August, shortly after announcing her baby news, the celebrity revealed just how uninformed she was when she first became pregnant.
“I was so naïve when we first started this journey two years ago,” she told Hollywood Life. “I thought it was like, you get pregnant, and you’re pregnant, and you have a kid and that’s the way it works. When we lost that pregnancy, it was such an eye-opening experience that people don’t really talk about it. There isn’t really a community out there.”
She went on to explain how challenging it was to lose “control” of her body with pregnancy, especially after training as a pro gymnast for so many years. “It’s weird because for so long in my life my body was my job. It was kind of like, I’ll do anything to keep it in shape, but when you get pregnant your body is not yours anymore,” she explained. “It’s the baby’s, and learning how to let go of control, and let your body change and do weird things is definitely a learning experience. But it’s easier than I thought.”