While many people understand that donor sperm is just that- a donation- it doesn’t sound like everyone gets the memo. In an awkward yet sad story, a woman was under the impression that she could step in as the grandmother to a child whom her son conceived as a sperm donor. However, the child’s parents don’t seem to be on the same page as her.
A story anonymously posted to Reddit has gone viral after the mother of the child in question came forward with her unusual story. She explained that, when she and her wife were trying to start a family, their friend ‘Mike’ offered to donate sperm to them. The couple agreed and went on to welcome a daughter.
However, neither the sperm donor nor his family was supposed to have a large role in the girl’s life. "We did everything properly, using lawyers, and we all decided that he would in no way be the child's dad,” the mother explained. “And that he would know the child simply as a family friend until the child grew older and wanted to meet their bio father."
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Unfortunately, the Reddit user revealed that Mike had recently passed in unprecedented circumstances. This then prompted his grieving mother to reach out to the family… so she could meet “his daughter,” as she said. The mother knew her son had donated sperm, but only realized that it was to a family friend at his funeral reception, when the couple made a passing remark in their speech.
The poster admitted she initially agreed to let the grieving mother meet the 3-year old, but the more the two women talked, the more uncomfortable she became with the idea. Why? Because she was already referring to the little girl as her son’s daughter and as her granddaughter.
The Reddit user said the final straw was when Mike’s mom requested photos of the little girl at different ages, saying "since I've missed so much time with my granddaughter already." The girl’s mother went on, "Her wording gave me pause," she wrote. "so I messaged back clarifying that it would be a one time meeting, and that my daughter already has two loving grandmothers."
Things got worse when Mike’s mother began implying that the 3-year old was missing something from her life since she didn’t have a dad but was rather being raised by two moms. Yikes! “In her messages, she repeatedly referred to Mike as her father,” she wrote. “I told her my daughter doesn't have a dad, but two mothers, and she responded by saying that one of us wasn't the 'real' mother and that I was being selfish."
Interestingly, the comments on the original Reddit post are mixed. Some people side with the little girl’s mom, explaining Mike’s mother crossed a boundary and could confuse the girl if she uses such language around her. She also delegitimized the two wives’ relationship by implying their daughter was missing something by not having a father. But on the other hand, some Reddit users thought the OP should be more understanding of the grieving mother’s perspective and give her a chance to be involved in the girl’s life.
What’s your take on this story, BabyGaga readers? Let us know in the comments!