When my husband and I got married, we knew that we wanted to have at least four children. I was raised in a family of three kids and- as the middle child- it was always awkward having an odd number. My husband was the baby of four children, and we both agreed that that was a good number.
We got pregnant about a month after getting married after being told, "It would be hard for us to have kids." We were very excited to become parents. Whenever I thought about having kids, I always thought about having boys. I even grew up wanting to be a boy. I was athletic and loved power tools. I was freakishly strong and fast for a little girl and was one of the fastest kids until boys started hitting puberty. I didn't wear makeup, and wearing dresses seemed like a punishment. It seemed only fitting that our first child was going to be a boy, and I was ecstatic. But some people thought that I was a little bit disappointed by this. Even now, I'm not sure why.
When my son was seven months old, we found out we were going to have another baby. We were shocked but we were excited. We found out we were having another baby boy, and we were both stoked! We were excited that my oldest would have a brother so close in age, and we knew they'd be the best of friends. I was very excited to have another son- yet people were convinced that I was upset. I'd tell people that I was having another boy, and they responded as though I needed their condolences. They didn't believe me when I said that I didn't want a girl- I wanted a boy.
When my second child turned one, we found out we were pregnant again. We sadly lost that baby. We got pregnant yet again, only to lose that baby. It was very hard to have two miscarriages in a row, but we were very grateful to become pregnant with our rainbow baby when my second child was about 18 months old. At that point, people were hoping that we would have a girl- and by then, my husband kind of wanted a girl. He wanted daddy's little girl. He wanted bows, dresses, pinks, and ruffles. We found out that our third child was going to be a boy, and I laughed and was giddy. I knew he was going to be a boy! I was once again thrilled, but people just assumed that I was upset by having a little boy- again. Many people said things like, "Are you going to try for a baby girl?" I would respond with, "Well, if we have another one we will be trying for a baby!" Why did people feel like I wasn't fulfilled because I didn't have a girl?
We found out we were pregnant yet again when my third child was about 16 months old. We knew we were going to have another little boy, but we still decided to figure out the gender through genetic testing when I was about 12 weeks along. When the nurse called to tell me the gender, I knew she was going to say boy- and I was 100 percent okay with that. I loved being a boy mom. I loved my dirty, crazy and wild boys. I loved them so much and I was very excited to add another boy.
But then the nurse said, "You are going to have a little girl." I was shocked and stunned. I was scared and nervous. I wasn't expecting that at all- I didn't know how to raise a girl. I was a boy mom! I started crying out of both excitement and fear. Later, I called my husband with the news, and he was speechless.
When we started telling people we were having a girl, it was really awkward. People were constantly telling me things like, "You finally got it right!" One woman even said, "Oh good, now you can be done having kids." With our sweet beautiful daughter now born, we hear people all the time say "Oh good you finally got your girl!"
Don't get me wrong- I love my daughter so much and I'm so grateful that I have her. I'd do anything for her- she's perfect! I'm so unbelievably lucky to be her mother. However, when I dreamed about being a mother, I never pictured it with girls. I pictured having four to six boys, and that made me excited and happy. There was no pink in my future. My husband and I would've been just as happy to have a boy. When we decided to have another baby we weren't "trying for a girl", we were most likely planning to be done- regardless of it being a girl or not.
People need to stop assuming that mothers only want girls, or that they won't feel complete without having one. I don't love my daughter more than my sons, and I wasn't more excited about her birth than the births of my little boys. I love my daughter and my three boys exactly the same. I didn't "finally get my girl." I happened to get a girl, and I'm thrilled to be her mother. I'm also just as thrilled about having my three wonderful boys, too.