It can be hard to deal with a toddler, and that is because they are in a unique stage of development. They are learning about the world around them, and they are learning how to handle their own emotions. When we think about this from their perspective, we can see how overwhelming it can be.

Toddlers don’t know how to regulate their emotions or how to handle feelings like anger and disappointment, and this means that they can cry a lot. Parents can get overstimulated and frustrated, and that is because they are only human. They may have been having a hard day, and their toddler crying for the fifth time maybe that straw that was too much.

They may be tempted to just tell them to “stop crying,” and thinking that it is a reasonable request. It may be for an adult, but it is not always for a toddler. There are many reasons why we should avoid telling toddlers to just stop crying, and we are going to explore them now.

RELATED: How To Get Through A Period Of "PURPLE Crying"

While we are going to look at why parents shouldn’t say this to their toddlers, we are also going to give some alternative methods of coping that can be beneficial and helpful.

Highly Sensitive Child

Common Parenting Mistakes With Toddlers
Credit: Shutterstock

If your toddler seems to cry more than other toddlers, there is no reason to worry. Every child is different, and you may have a child that is highly sensitive. According to Parents, this means that your toddler often complains, gets startled easily and is prone to crying over “little things.” They just feel things more deeply than others do, and maybe we need to stop thinking of this as a bad thing. They also may be more empathetic and kinder than their peers, and that is a wonderful thing.

However, this also gives us the first reason why we should not tell our toddlers to stop crying. They can’t. If your toddler is highly sensitive, they cannot stop crying, even if you asked them too nicely. It is their personality, and how they process the world around them and this means that when you tell them to stop crying, they are likely going to cry more.

Your Toddler Is Human

via Pinterest

Even though they are young, cute, and small, your toddler is a human too, and we need to have a bit of empathy for them. According to Sleeping Should Be Easy, we can imagine what it would be like to be extremely upset by something, and have someone tell us to just stop crying or get over it. It would be incredibly hurtful and invalidating, and that is what we are doing to our toddlers when we tell them that.

We may not understand the reason they are upset, or even know at all, but we should still be validating how they are feeling. If your toddler is crying, regardless of the reason, something is upsetting them, and telling them to stop crying without even trying to fix the problem or help them process it is teaching them to bury their feelings, and they may grow up not knowing how to express them at all.

They Feel Better

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via Pexels/Alexander Dummer

Another thing that a lot of parents may be able to relate to is that feeling after you have had a good cry. It takes a weight off your shoulder, you feel relaxed, and you do feel better. You have gotten all that bottled up emotion out, and it can be relaxing. This is something that we should want for our toddlers.

Crying may not be a happy emotion, but it is helpful, and when we let our toddlers experience crying, and healing, we are setting them up for a healthy mental health lifestyle later.

What Can Parents Do?

How To Be A Good Enough Mom To Your Toddler
a mom and her toddler

Despite all of this, parents may still need their toddlers to stop crying. They may understand that it is important for them, and they may know that they need to validate their emotions, but it can still be too much. This means that parents need something that they can use to cope, and calm their toddler down.

According to Happiness Is Here Blog, if your toddler is crying, and you just need them to stop the best thing you can do is try and distract them. You can try and validate how they are feeling, but if a toddler has moved into a full-blown meltdown, they may not hear you at all. The best thing to do is to find an activity that is going to distract them, and this can stop the crying. Maybe it means that it is snack time, time to get a drink, or time to bring out a new activity.

Sources: Parents, Sleeping Should Be Easy, Happiness Is Here Blog