Many people have grown up alongside celebrity mom Tamera Mowry-Housley. She and her twin sister Tia Mowry were once television staples, starring together in their hit show Sister, Sister before moving on to star in the Disney movie Twitches and Twitches Too. They even starred in their own reality show together and were part of a singing group together as well. Now, at the age of 40, Mowry is one of the hosts of the popular syndicated talk show, The Real, which she's been on since the talk show debuted in 2013. She's also happily married and the mom of two adorable kids, son Aden and daughter Ariah.
Despite doing almost everything together when they were growing up, the sisters moved at their own pace when it came time to settle down and have kids. Now that she's a mom, Tamera has been very outspoken on the challenges all moms face, especially when it comes to trying to balance work and home life. The actress and talk show host definitely gets real about how difficult it can be to deal with the day to day issues all moms face, and hopes that by talking about them openly other mothers will know that they're not alone.
Mowry has always been refreshingly honest about her approach to parenting and has given moms lots of advice that definitely help them feel better about the job they're doing. Here are 20 things about how Tamera Mowry parents that all moms can relate to.
In a post written in honor of Mother's Day on her blog, Mowry wrote about how being a parent means never really knowing what's going to happen next! She wrote that although she tries to be prepared for whatever her kids need, life is unpredictable and you have to be prepared for change at all times. She also wrote that having kids taught her the value of always being present in the moment.
"My children have also taught me how to be present and in the moment, which is something that can be really hard to do when you are a working mom and have a lot of responsibility in your life," she wrote.
"As a mom who can be a little OCD, my children have made me realize that it is okay to leave some dirty dishes in the sink for a while, or to not write that email right away, and to just live in the moment. I have learned that it is worth giving up a little control in my life, to be able to sit and watch a movie with them or just have time to bond."
Being a mom often means second guessing everything you do. There is often so many outside influences and 'advice' that moms hear on a daily basis, it's hard to be confident in the parenting decisions you make.
Mowry however told Fit Pregnancy that she always tells moms to trust their own instincts and not be afraid to make the decisions that are right for you and your family.
"Everyone will always have advice for you but you always have to do what works for you and your family," she says. "That's most important!"
Tamera and husband Adam Housley are the proud parents of a boy and a girl, and it sounds like that's exactly the perfect number of kids for the couple.
Tamera told OK Magazine that she's more than likely done with having kids, and she's not upset about it either.
"I don’t have any more babies in the house as I say. I have a pre-K and a toddler, if anything I am accepting the fact that there probably will never be any more babies in the home."
"If it were up to me, I’m done [having kids]. I have a beautiful boy a beautiful girl."
"We both have two hands so I like being able to put man-on-man, one child each. It’s doable," she said. "I’m [also] older. I give older moms props but my body I think is done — it’s breaking down."
Tamera knows that moms often struggle with self doubt and wondering if they're being a good mom, and she wants them to know that not only is she a good parent, but other moms are doing a great job too.
She told OK Magazine that when it comes to being a working mom, you have to have faith in yourself.
"Trust that your best is good enough," she said. "A lot of the time we have people judging us as moms but I think us moms we are our hardest critics because there are some days you feel like you have it figured out and then some days you just don’t. And that’s okay too. If you are doing your best, your child is going to come out fine and it’s because you’re always doing the right thing."
Organization and scheduling is key for Tamera as a mom, and suggests that it can help other moms not feel so stressed as well. She explained to Fit Pregnancy that she used to read to her son at least once a day. "It's very important to me and it's our special time together, just the two of us," she said, before stressing the importance in her being as organized as possible.
"A good toy box filled with toys, good organization for toys in the bath, a great diaper bag with compartments for the essentials like clothes, wipes, toys, and an emergency kit,"
she said are things that make her prepared for a good day, and that "a coloring book and crayons always goes a long way.
Potty training is a rite of passage for all parents, and it's easy to think you're doing something wrong, or there's something wrong with your child, if they don't 'get it' right away. Mowry was the same when she noticed her son Aden was taking longer to go through the night potty trained.
"The whole potty-training and nighttime-wetting experience really made me realize that every child has such a different developmental timeline — and that’s perfectly OK," Mowry told SheKnows.
"It may not seem like a big deal, but now that we've been through it, I feel much more relaxed about parenting (and life in general). All these unexpected blips on the child-raising road remind me of what's most important: to love my children and do what works best for my family. One of my favorite sayings is, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and it really couldn’t be more spot-on. So I stopped comparing Aden and Ariah to other kids, and that changed everything.
Mowry's potty training worries made her realize that she wished more parents spoke up about questions and concerns they have regarding their kids. She feels that if more parents spoke up then parents wouldn't feel so alone and they would have a trusted community to provide great advice.
"I wish more parents knew that you aren’t ever alone, and when you speak up about a challenge, in fact, you’re probably saying exactly what someone else needed to hear in that moment," she told SheKnows.
"When we open up and support each other, whether that's on social media or IRL, we’re always better for it. So no matter what your child is experiencing, I always encourage people to speak up and get real — because chances are, you’ll find people with just the information, resources and inspiration you and your family need."
Tamera's twin sister Tia welcomed her son, Cree, before Tamera had Aden and was always a source of advice and inspiration for her twin.
"Tia had her son before I had Aden, and she was always 100% honest with me about her experience with motherhood. She really helped prepare me for both the joys and the realities of what being a mom looked like. Most importantly, she taught me that as a mom, it is okay to keep pursuing your dreams while being a devoted parent. That was something that I was really struggling with — I wasn’t sure that it was going to be possible to keep growing my career and have children. My sister has the most beautiful and special relationship with her son, and she really showed me that that as a mom, you can do both. I love sharing motherhood moments with her."
Being a working mom is hard, but Mowry credits having to maintain a balance between her home life and her work life with making her a more patient person who knows how to prioritize.
"For me, I’ve learned to multitask with my job and being a mother," the actress told Forbes. "When I’m at work, I make sure that everything is going well at home. Being a mother is a 24/7 job. When we get home, we still have to take care of our families. There is no downtime as a mom- even when you are sick. There are no sick days! Mothers also have to learn patience the hard way, which is a great leadership trait. Whether you have it or not, your patience is always tested."
Like most moms, Mowry's parenting style has definitely changed from when she was a mom of one to now being a mom of two. The talk show host explained to PEOPLE how she learned to embrace germs as a mom a lot more after she had her daughter, and all moms can relate!
“[If] my firstborn dropped his pacifier, I would freak out. I would run to the bathroom, run hot water on it for like 20 seconds,” she said. “Now my daughter, if she drops a pacifier, I just dip it in water,” explaining that “sometimes, germs can be a good thing.”
“You can’t keep germs away from your kids 100 percent, because how else are they going to build a tolerance?” she says. “Their immune system has got to be strong. I’m not saying throw them in a pool of germs, I’m saying you don’t have to be so particular.”
Being a mom can be so hard that sometimes it's all you can do not to totally meltdown right alongside your tantrum throwing toddler. Mowry told PEOPLE that when both her kid are melting down at the same time, she often feels the need to just cry along with them.
“It is a sound that will make you start crying,” she laughing explained to the magazine. “So say they’re fighting over a toy, or Aden is upset with something and then Ariah gets upset with something and then I have an important phone call or I have to get them out of the house for school within that time … it can be very challenging, and I just sometimes throw my hands up and start crying too. We just all have a cry.”
Being a mom is hard, but even harder when you feel like you're constantly being judged by other parents. Mowry explained that after experiencing a particularly difficult meltdown by her son on an airplane, she tries to go out of her way to give other parents who may be having a hard time some words of encouragement.
"When I see a toddler having a meltdown on a plane, I look at the parent, give them a little smile and say, ‘I’ve been there, you’re doing great.’ “
“It just makes them feel better because we judge ourselves as moms. When you have additional people judging you, sometimes you just want to cry,”
Lots of moms feel like they know how they're going to parent before they even have kids, and Mowry was definitely one of those women. After she had her son Aden she quickly realized that you can never say never when it comes to parenting!
“I have adopted the saying, ‘You are a perfect parent until you are one,’ ” she told PEOPLE. “I said I would never co-sleep with my child — ‘Nope, not gonna happen!’ I’m co-sleeping with my child.”
“But he’s not going to be in there when he’s 14 years old. There’s a reason he wants to sleep with Mommy and Daddy,” she explains. “Mommy works long days, and that is his time to cuddle with me … He feels safer in our bed.”
I think a lot of moms can relate to that one!
Mowry definitely doesn't sugar coat life as a mom and wants other mothers to realize that they don't have to be perfect to be a good mother. At the end of the day all moms are simply trying their very best and they need to know that that's ok.
"My parenting motto is: As long as you are doing your best, it’s good enough," she told Mom.me. "Let’s just focus on that. You are not going to be this perfect parent every day, so as long as you're striving to be the best, things are going to be fine."
Having kids is hard, and Mowry fully acknowledges that she needs help in order to be a good mother and good employee. Like many women, it took Mowry a bit of time to realize there is nothing wrong with getting help.
"It takes a village. It was very hard for me to admit this in the beginning. I wanted all the control," she told Yahoo Parenting. "I didn’t even want help from my husband. Adam was like, Can I help? The moment you accept help, you find yourself happier. A child will benefit from a happy mom, not an exhausted one."
Mowry has no trouble letting you know that there is no 'helicopter' parenting happening in her house, although she still makes sure she's always watching.
"I’m mixed, but very traditional. I’m not a helicopter mom. I allow my son to have his space and be independent. I’m an old school mom — he can play in the dirt and the sand. Playtime is huge for my family. It’s important for him to get dirty, be curious, creative, and play with other kids. I sit back and watch him. But kids will be kids on the playground, a little aggressive. So the moment I see something, or he gets hurt, that’s when I come in."
Mowry is a big fan of routine and schedules and has written about it on her blog.
"Little ones thrive under routines, which is why I’ve talked about Aden and Ariah’s nighttime rituals in the past – they’re still so important. If you want a baby that will sleep through the night, the first step is getting them to fall asleep, and keep that routine to create consistency in their lives. As you might’ve seen, our nighttime ritual includes a warm bath, bedtime stories, and prayer. These are all relaxing, “wind down” type of activities, that help lull baby to sleep."
While Tamera isn't shy to share her own parenting advice, she also isn't shy to ask for advice for herself. The actress reveled to Parents Magazine that her mom has been super helpful when she has questions of her own.
"Becoming a mom has really thrown me for a loop. I figured I had this job in the bag because I took care of my brother and my nephew. No way! I turn to my mom to make sure things are normal. For instance, I wasn't prepared for the baby acne thing. My mom told me this was typical. Who knew? I turn to my sister to see if my nephew, Cree, went through the same things Aden is going through."
Mowry knows that life as a mom never goes as planned, and some days are definitely harder than others. She also knows that it's important that moms aren't so hard on themselves and that they just need to give themselves a break sometimes.
"There are some days that are just not going to go as planned. Some days, you are going to kill it; some days, you are just going to plain suck. And you have to be OK with that. Life is not perfect. As long as you are organizing and prioritizing your day, you’ll be fine. Knowing that going in, you can breathe a little more."
We often talk about self care for moms and how we need to make sure that parents have their own space where they can relax and decompress, but Mowry took that a step further when she designed her son Aden's bedroom. She told PEOPLE that she wanted her son to have his own space that felt like a sanctuary.
After explaining that she did Aden's room in soft colors that promote relaxation and used comfortable furniture and filled his room with all his favorite toys and books, she explained why she took so much time to make his room perfect.
“I wanted his room to be a sanctuary for him — a private space where he can be creative, feel safe and call his own,” the actress explains. “I think we did a pretty good job. I absolutely love the way Aden’s room turned out!