Your marriage has ended. You’re starting over. Regardless of how long you were married or how painful the divorce, you can use this tough time as an opportunity to grow and thrive. Here are ten terrific tips for surviving and thriving after divorce.
10 Grieve and Then Let Go
It’s okay to be sad, disappointed, and angry over the loss of your marriage. You spent a long time together. At one time, you probably envisioned spending your entire life with this person. No matter how things ended, you’ve experienced a loss, and it’s okay to grieve. But it is time to move on. You’ve got the rest of your life ahead of you, so make the most of it!
9 Keep Things Amicable
Although no longer married, if you have kids, you will still need to communicate with your ex on a regular basis. Don’t make the children the messengers, and don’t put the kids in the middle. Although no longer husband and wife, you are still parents, and you need to work together as allies.
8 Get Your Finances Straight
Whether you were the one who controlled the checkbook in your marriage, or if you split the finances equally, you’re on your own now. Take some time to get your finances in order. How much can you save each month? How quickly can you pay off your debts? Set up a budget, and consider your options.
7 Take Care of Yourself Physically
This is not the time to wallow with a tub of ice cream and let yourself go like the heroine in a romantic comedy. You need to take care of yourself and make sure you are in good shape so you not only feel good but feel good about yourself. Eat well. Exercise. Dance.
6 Take Care of Yourself Mentally
Relax. Meditate. Write in a journal. Journaling is a good way to release pent-up feelings and emotions. It can help you gain perspective on your situation and will show your personal growth as it occurs. It’s also inexpensive and can be done at any time of the day or night, so it’s a great way to calm yourself down.
5 Get Support
Don’t isolate yourself from friends and family. Hopefully, you have a network of people who are there for you in this tough time. Be appreciative of their efforts to help, and return the favor; be there for them when they need you. You can also seek out help from a therapist or a counseling group.
4 Don’t Rebound Immediately
It’s not always a good idea to get right back out there, whether we’re talking about a quick, casual rebound relationship or settling in for something more serious. When wading back into the dating pool, take it slow. You’ve just come out of a serious, long-term relationship. There’s no need to commit yourself to someone else right away.
3 Try Something New
Take up a new hobby. Try something you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the time to pursue. Lose yourself in an activity. Travel. Trying something new is a great way to take your mind off your worries, and a great way for you to stay busy and meet new people.
2 Get to Know Yourself Again
Sometimes, when you’re part of a couple for a long time, your interests and activities blend. You end up doing things out of routine, rather than doing what really interests you. (How many times have you sat through football on Sunday just because that’s what he wanted to watch?) So, take some time to find things you used to love doing on your own and start doing them again.
1 Let the Past Make You Better, Not Bitter.
Hopefully, you’ve learned something about yourself from your relationship. Hopefully, it will make you a better person. And hopefully, you’ll have better luck in your next relationship when the time comes.