Husbands love being dads and adore their wives for their beauty, strength, and sacrifice. However, although gushing over the wife being a mama and all is lovely and awe-inspiring, there are some things that men do miss about their wife before she had the baby.
Ladies, don’t be too mad at dad. Having a baby is a game changer for all.
This list of things that dads point out that they miss the most about their wife before the baby arrived is simply a testament to how observant, thoughtful, or moved men are by the nuances of the relationship they have built with their significant other.
So when the ladies thought their husband wasn’t paying attention, he actually was.
And also, men have emotions too and are similarly impacted by the changes that a new baby brings into the relationship dynamic that was once only shared between two people. Now that dad has to share his wife with the baby too, aside from realizing that being a parent, family responsibilities, and managing resources mean even more than ever before.
Some things that dads miss most may make moms laugh, where others may make hearts leap a bit. It can be reassuring, knowing that dads also experience profoundly deep emotions and thoughts about their role in life with the wife and new baby.
It may be helpful to give dad the kudos and support that they need too when it comes to adjusting to the parenting life.
21 Not Having To Worry About Food Or Smells Triggering Wife’s Nausea
There may be some truth to getting between a guy and his stomach. And one reason that some dad’s may start missing the days when his wife was pre-baby, all comes down to food.
Before the wife was pregnant she wasn’t prone to feeing bouts of nausea, more easily susceptible to picking up a food borne illness or so worried about her size. Once dad knows for sure there is a bun in the oven, he may also have to learn to be more flexible about what foods are safe around mom or not.
Unless dad can get comfortable with dealing with a pregnant wife wretching in the porcelain bowl of the bathroom, or complaining about how badly a once-favorite dish now smells, dad might have to make some unwanted menu changes to keep the peace.
And if that wasn’t enough, once mom drops the baby, she still might suffer from fluctuating hormones that trigger nausea, an upset tummy, or may be disagreeable to her breastmilk quality if she chooses to nurse.
So ladies, if dad seems a little miffed about having to chow down on blander foods for the sake of his pregnant wife’s nausea, or other food sensitivities, it’s no wonder why dad may be looking longingly at a plate of junk food dishes with watery eyes.
20 Having The Wife To Themselves
One reason a man makes the commitment to get hitched to his beloved wife is because she is the most special lady in his life who he has to keep all for himself.
Even though a dad may have been super excited and anxious about becoming a parent, he might have forgotten how much other people will be drawn to his wife’s baby bump, and the baby once it arrives.
Before the baby, the pre-baby wife didn’t have to divide her time between people interested in her pregnancy or the baby. Once the baby bump becomes more prominent, it can be challenging for a man to put up with friends and even strangers commenting on his wife’s appearance or wanting to touch the baby bump whether his wife is okay with that or not.
Plus, those intimate moments that a man was able to share with his wife, when there was no baby to consider are long gone. Now, dad will have to try to schedule out a date night with the wife, or patiently wait until the baby is asleep to get any alone time with the wife.
Once the baby arrives, dad’s new reality involves a baby who is going to take away a lot of mom’s attention, and will certainly cause sleep deprivation for both mom and dad. And dad will just have to adjust, so it’s understandable if he may be a bit sulky now and then.
19 Getting Close
Okay, so before the baby, the pre-baby wife was able to enjoy an impromptu moment of friskiness.
But once mom is saddled with a baby bump, she may not be remotely interested in sharing an intimate moment with dad. In addition to hormones playing a role in a woman’s mood about being too close to dad, the physical obstruction of a baby bump might make her put off by the idea of getting hot and heavy.
After mom drops the baby, if she experienced any tears, had a stressful or difficult pregnancy, or is just super exhausted learning to deal with her postpartum recovery, and tending to the baby’s needs, getting close is the last thing on her mind.
Dads may find it hard or shocking to learn why his post-baby wife doesn’t want to get close. Keeping open communication, and finding ways to satisfy intimate needs may be necessary to encourage dad to not stray during a challenging time in the relationship.
There is some truth to the arrival of a new baby causing understandable stress and strain on a relationship. Unfortunately, when mom is freaked out or not interested in getting close, it can leave a man feeling a bit neglected, rejected, and possibly interested in seeking relief outside the relationship.
18 The Wife Is Sore All Over
Many men may not want to admit it, but one reason that dad fell in love with his pre-baby wife was because of her girls. The girls are a natural part of a woman’s beauty, curvaceous, lovely, and make her clothes fit oh so right in just the right places.
It’s no wonder that many husbands can’t help but stare back in awe at their pregnant wife’s changing shape, especially when the girls become larger in size. And sadly, sometimes guys do forget that although a pregnant or post-baby woman’s girls seem to be inviting them to get close if the girls are feeling swollen, tender, or sore, that’s the last thing dad should do.
Dad will want to exercise some tact when making comments about his wife’s appearance, and stop himself from the temptation of wanting to touch his wife’s most sore areas.
It’s even more important that a man respect his wife’s wishes about her body. Even when the wife is post-baby, if she chooses to nurse, dad’s desire to get close to the girls can be taken very badly.
Many women have hangups about their changing body during pregnancy, and if they decide to nurse. A part of the body which some men may see only as an object of desire suddenly transforms themselves for the function of feeding and sustaining a new life.
17 The Wife Wearing Form-Flattering Clothes
Wives should be excited and secure knowing that their husband loves their body, and the mind and heart that lies within. However, it can be disconcerting getting adjust to seeing a post-baby wife rocking frumpy clothing.
Even if mom doesn’t think she is the most gorgeous thing ever when carrying a baby bump, or feels less attractive after giving birth to her baby, she couldn’t be more off. Dad is still so into her, even if his feelings and ideas do fluctuate a bit, which is to be expected with enduring major life changes like becoming a parent and watching his wife’s transformation.
However, one thing moms should realize is that she should embrace her shape. When mom is only content to lay about in sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, or only puts on maternity wear, it can make a man long for those pre-baby days when his mom dressed like the beautiful mama he still knows she is under all those layers.
Not all maternity clothing has to be matronly looking to function, and thankfully there are some designers who have embraced the chic but alluring mom look. Plus, once mom gives birth, eventually she can dare to wear clothing that shows off her shape in a way that boosts her confidence and gives her husband some desired visual appeal.
Because who wants to think adult thoughts about the wife when she is wearing the equivalent of a potato sack? Moms should dare to flaunt their beauty.
16 Shaved Legs
Once a woman is further along in her pregnancy, making time to shave can be more than a chore. And if mom is having to navigate around a sizable baby bump, it can be even more difficult to get those hard to reach areas.
One solution is for dad to step in to help mom, or to learn to put up with legs that are not always perfectly smooth.
And even when a mom delivers the baby, she might allow a shaving routine to fall by the wayside. After all, the time spent focused on getting to learn the baby’s new habits, nursing, diaper changes, and being absorbed by the demands of motherhood can cause mom to forget to get enough time for herself in the day.
If dad can’t put up with post-baby wife's new werewolf-like legs, he can consider making an appointment for his wife to go to a spa and get laser or waxed. Otherwise, perhaps dad can learn to love his new wife’s new 'au natural' look.
A man who fell in love with his wife pre-baby for her gorgeous legs might be in for a rude awakening when his wife doesn’t make shaving top priority as much anymore.
15 The Wife Wearing Heels
Thanks to fluctuating hormones, not only can women expect to live with the risk of developing varicose veins and swollen feet and legs, but they may also develop larger feet.
According to Mom Junction, the hormone relaxin is responsible for causing the ligaments and tendons of a pregnant woman to loosen up. And as a result, a pregnant and post-baby lady’s system are likely to become altered. Women may end up with longer feet, shortened arches, and deal with aches and pains.
Dad may have fallen head over heels for his wife because her chic and fashionable shoes really accented her legs and figure. However, once mom is pregnant or post-baby, the high heels that made her husband drop his jaw or going to have to go back in the closet for a while.
And if mom’s feet spread and go up a size, she may have to buy new footwear after the baby arrives. Although dad may want to see his wife dress up in some alluring high-heeled shoes, it wouldn’t be sensible for a pregnant or post-baby wife to struggle to put tired, aching, swollen feet inside a pair of luxury footwear for dad’s view.
Maybe dad can learn to fall in love with mom rocking a pair of flats or find a new article of clothing or shoes that get excited seeing their wife don.
14 Can’t Travel On Short Notice, Especially With Due Date Approaching
Impromptu vacations to sweep the wife off her feet may seem pretty much off-limits.
According to Web MD, if mom is having contractions or low abdominal pain, traveling should be avoided. Diseases like the Zika virus are a real and present threat. If dad and mom are not careful, despite getting immunizations, it may be too risky for a pregnant or post-baby wife to travel.
When a wife’s due date is approaching, putting pressure on her to travel would be really irresponsible. Mom could run the risk of giving birth on the plane mid-flight, or the air pressure might have a negative impact on her swelling, and cause discomfort.
If dad wants to do any vacations, he should consider planning travel plans early into mom’s pregnancy, or way before he and mom commit to having a kid. And after the baby is born, dad is going to have to learn to adjust to allotting more time to get ready to travel anywhere with a new baby in tow.
Before baby, dad and mom could enjoy each other’s company without much hindrance, but a new baby requires being more flexible and choosing places to visit that are more baby-friendly, and that don’t pose significant health risks to mom and baby.
13 Her Changing Figure Type Can Be Tough To Deal With
Women are beautiful alluring beings, and one of the main reasons that a man falls in love with his lady is due to her gorgeous aura and key features that she possesses. This is to not say that men are solely dominated by physical interest and the physical appearance of a woman, but it does play a part in biology and forming relationships.
Once a woman ends up pregnant, it can be challenging for a man to learn to love his wife’s changing figure. Seeing the woman you love transform right before your eyes can be scary, exciting, and anxiety-inducing.
According to Parenting, some men have so much respect for how their wife handles pregnancy and giving birth. Some men feel a mix of horror and fascination. Either way, pre-wife baby definitely had a different feel to her than when she became pregnant or a mother delivering the long-awaited baby.
Having a baby is one thing that only a woman can physically do, and it can be awe-inspiring and equally terrifying. It may be hard for some men to recognize the woman they fell in love with when her body goes through so many changes. And if childbirth leaves a woman with stitches, surgeries, or a permanent physical change that wasn’t there before the baby arrived, it can be an adjustment.
12 Conversations That Aren't About The Baby
Does mom have the baby on the brain much? Because if the conversations that dad finds himself getting involved in, or listening to only focuses on the baby, pregnancy symptoms, or a to-do list of things needed for the baby, it might prove to be too much to handle for long.
After all, mom needs to realize that dad may want to focus on other subject matter. Plus, maybe mom has been neglecting to inquire dad about his needs and wants, or just forgets to ask how his day was.
Communication is not only a big deal for women, but it can matter a whole lot to men too. Being able to share a good laugh over shared jokes, learn more about what is going in one another’s lives, and share ideas brings couples closer together.
If dad is seeming a little distant or feigning interest in mom’s baby or pregnancy-focused conversations, it might because they are seeing themselves as an active part of the conversation. Mom is just looking to have a listening ear for a one-sided conversation.
If dad misses his pre-baby wife, it’s because conversations used to involve non-baby stuff, adult topics, or even local events that are happening.
11 Eating Junk Food
If the pre-wife baby wasn’t so worried about their diet, once they realize they are pregnant, or have recently given birth, things may quickly change.
The woman who was happy to join her husband in a hot wing eating contest, or didn’t mind chowing down on a pizza at 2 am while watching films all night may suddenly turn into a health nut.
Yes, it’s important for a woman to take good care of her foods while pregnant, but it would be nice if mom could live a little. No one is perfect, and sometimes snacking on some contraband snack foods can be fun. Dad may also have to adjust to the post-baby wife experiencing nausea, food allergies, or a change of heart to once favorite junk food choices.
According to Food Allergy Canada, some women do experience the development of food allergies during their pregnancy or after having the baby. During pregnancy, women may want to be extra cautious about what they eat to avoid an unwanted allergic reaction to trigger foods.
Sometimes following pregnancy, known food allergies can become more intense, or new allergies can develop. Dad may be enlisted to watch out for foods that can cause an adverse reaction in mom once pregnant or even after the baby. So adjusting to dietary changes are going to have to be a must, especially with certain additives in junk foods.
10 Sleep, Surprise Plans, And Staying Up Late By Choice
One thing that dads and moms may forget may happen when they have a baby, is that they will surely miss out on getting enough restful sleep.
According to Fit Pregnancy, moms do typically end up getting less sleep than dads. However, parents may end up falling asleep at work, in parked cars, or may even find themselves nodding off to dreamland while in the shower. Yikes!
Sleep deprivation is a major reason why many men may miss those good old days before the wife finally delivered the baby. Once the baby is fussing or crying in the night because the baby needs a diaper change, nursing, or just wants to be coddled and cuddled back to sleep, dad really feels that reality check of being a parent.
Finding a moment to spare to stay up late and talk, enjoy a surprise night out, or just feel rested enough can seem nearly impossible In order to keep the peace dad and mom can try to work out nighttime schedules, where they can take turns looking after the baby and one another.
Adults may need to get at least 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night, but until a child hits the 2-year old mark, parents can look forward to losing an hour or more of sleep each night, according to Consumer Health Day.
9 Date Nights Without Mom Guilt
Having baby can really put a damper on spontaneous romantic moments, like setting up a surprise date, or finding time to actually get away from taking care of the baby for a bit. And to add onto the pressure to make a date night happen, dad may have to deal with a post-baby wife feeling a tinge of guilt leaving the little one in the care of a babysitter, just so she and dad can get away.
And if dad manages to successfully plan a date night, book a restaurant, hotel, or score some tickets to an event for him and his wife to share, both mom and dad may feel too tired to follow through with their plans.
A new baby requires a lot of time and energy from both mom and dad, with frequent feedings, waking up in the night, and other demands that a baby can throw at their parents.
It can be a challenge to adjust for a couple and worrying whether the baby is okay when getting away can cause undue stress, and dampen what should be a moment to rekindle closeness. If dad is missing those days before the wife had the baby, it’s because he misses the thrill of taking a night out on the town with his favorite lady, staying up late, or just sharing an intimate moment without worrying if the baby is going to wake up, cry, or need something.
8 Being Able To Spend Money
Dad may have loved wowing his lady with gifts, affection, and spending on things that he liked to enjoy personally. But once the baby arrives, the pressure is on.
Both parents may contribute to financial resources for a little one, but dads may feel especially stressed to earn enough money to support his wife and baby. After all, many women may need to take off time from work for maternity leave, in order to bond with the baby and bounce back from delivery and childbirth.
And the realization that both mom and the baby are going to have growing needs and demands can really make a guy start to sweat with nervousness. On top of worry over making enough money, men may also worry about how they divide their time. It’s tough enough learning to share his wife with the baby, family, and friends. A dad may also be concerned about whether he is spending enough quality time with his baby, and his wife as needed.
It’s no fun if dad has to busy himself working all the time to make ends meet, or just to feel confident with his contribution to support his family. Plus, the pressure that society can place on a dad to live up to expected gender roles can be distressing, and cause him to long for the good old days when his wife wasn’t pregnant or had yet to deliver the baby.
7 Can't Hang Out With Friends Without Dad Guilt
When things get tough at home, or dad has a row with his wife, one thing a dad can count on is spending time with his boys. However, having a baby can really change things for a new father.
Women are not the only ones to exhibit feelings of guilt when they spend time away from the baby. Dad may also feel guilty if he wants to run off and hang out with the fellas, because his wife or the baby may suddenly need something.
If dad finds himself having too good of a time, he may feel that his wife will be upset by his ability to get away and have fun, while she tends to the needs of the baby. Plus, time and resources can be limited for a new dad. Before the baby, dad could take his leave to hang out at short notice. But once the baby arrives, or a mom is hindered physically with her pregnancy and a nearing due date, dad may have to stay close, or face the consequences.
Having to schedule a play date with pals can seem awkward. And if dad’s buddies have yet to have children, they may not understand why the wife is frequently texting or calling dad to check-in with him often.
6 The Wife Actually Wanting To Go Out
When a dad decides to make a baby with his wife, he may not expect that his wife may display some unexpected behavior. After all, if the baby is asleep, there shouldn't inhibit the wife from dressing nicely, and taking a moment to get out of the house, right?
Oh, poor dad. A dad may find himself longing for the days where his wife wasn’t pregnant or stuck taking care of a newborn. Many women may find themselves drawn to nesting, and just wanting to stay inside more often than going out.
Mom may want to limit the baby’s exposure to outside germs, wants to focus on bonding, and needs time to recover from giving birth. And depending on how mom’s pregnancy and childbirth went, she may not feel up to dressing more fashionably and taking time to just hang out with dad at a restaurant, go to the movies, or have a date night.
It’s easy for a new mom to fall into a routine of looking frumpy, focusing all her attention on the baby, and forgetting to make time for herself and dad to enjoy one another’s company.
Dad should consider gently nudging his wife to get out of the house more, and to be comfortable looking nice and pampering herself. However, it may help dad’s cause if he can find a suitable babysitter, and take care of any concerns mom may have about getting away from the house and the baby.
5 Not Having To Share The Wife With A Demanding Baby
Moms may not realize it, but dad valued his alone time with you. And a dad will feel the pain of having to adjust to sharing his wife with a needy dependent little one, but it can be a challenge dealing with his wife being too tired to want to hang out.
According to sources like Motherly, men have poured their hearts out their wives with tears in their eyes, saying “I miss you,” despite spending loads of time together caring for a newborn baby.
Dad may really be heartsick for the wife he used to know before the baby. A wife who was once more available to take a spur of the moment trip, or who could spend time simply cuddling in bed before having to leave to take care of an errand or go to work is no more. It can be hard losing a wife who was once free to enjoy spontaneous plans without worrying about the baby.
When the baby arrives, the changes of parenthood can be a shock to the system. Although some dads may not be quick to show their emotions, dad may be in mourning over the loss of his former relationship with the wife pre-baby.
Once the baby arrives on the scene, they became the greater center of a parent’s universe, and the demands a new baby require can be a challenge to overcome and grow into.
4 Personal Time In The Bathroom
If there’s one place that an adult can run and hide inside, it’s the bathroom. At least if nature calls, while dad is squirrelling away for personal time or hygiene reasons, the bathroom provides adequate resources.
However, once the baby arrives, the bathroom may no longer be a safe haven for a dad who needs to get away.
Postpartum moms in recovery may need to go to the bathroom more frequently, or bathing after pregnancy and delivery can take longer than it previously did. Also, taking time out to bathe the baby can be a lengthy event, requiring checking water temperature, getting bath toys ready, and carefully bathing and drying off a squirmy slippery laughing tot.
And if dad has some unmentionable habits that can only be practiced under the clandestine pretense of having to go to the bathroom, once the baby arrives, it can be hard for dad to carry out his business when mom or baby may need to make use of the smallest room in the house.
Dad may also miss the pre-baby days where he and his wife can enjoy showering together, not having to gingerly walk around baby toys strewn about, and could sit on the porcelain throne without fear of someone barging in.
It may not be thought of as a prerequisite to being an adult, but many a man enjoys indulging in a vice. And once the baby comes, a dad may be shocked when his formerly easy-going wife wants to nip bad habits like smoking, drinking, or recreational substances use in the bud.
Having a baby is usually that reality check that encourages adults to get their act together. And indulging in costly vices can not only be harmful to one’s health, and put stress on financial resources, but sets a bad example for the baby.
Yes, being a parent can be stressful, but if dad wants to continue turning to his vices for comfort, he may find that it has turned into a dealbreaker for his relationship. Some dads may be allotted the ability to take things outside, so they don’t expose their new little one to secondhand smoke, or so the baby won’t accidentally get into trouble with more adult things.
If dad missed the days where his wife would let her hair down about things and wasn’t so quick to get on his case regarding unhealthy habits and behaviors, he might just have to take one for the team on this one. A caring mom concerned about the baby, and the future of her family might not want to budge about certain vices.
2 Anything That Isn't G-Rated
Before the baby, if dad liked to walk on the wild side and enjoy listening to loud music with lewd lyrics, or didn’t worry about having adult films laying about the house, all those fun and games come to a screeching halt once the baby arrives.
Now, dad might have to learn to get comfortable hiding away more adult things in a locked trunk or closet. Instead of singing along to songs with rude lyrical content, he may have to learn to love singing lullabies or kids tunes which are more appropriate for the baby.
There’s nothing like having a baby to force dad to remember to keep things G-rated, kid-friendly, and watch his language and behavior around an impressionable little one.
Yes, the baby is not able to speak just yet, but a parent might be surprised at how much information a child is taking in as they developed. If dad doesn’t nip things in the bud early enough, they might have to deal with a little one learning to spew out four-letter words, or causally singing along happily to songs that are age-inappropriate.
Having to put certain things away, which were once freely enjoyed with the wife before the baby, can really be a sign to a dad that it’s time to grow up and grow into his role as a parent.
1 Hormonal Wife And Husband
If dad thinks that he is becoming more emotional after the baby arrives, or that his testosterone levels have dropped, he may not be imagining things. Having a baby doesn’t just impact a woman’s body and brain, but it also has significant impact on a man too.
In fact, according to Medical News Today, men do experience a drop in their testosterone levels following the birth of a child. This is thought to help a man adjust to the role of nurturing a child.
Men can also suffer from postpartum depression too. According to Babble, some 10% of men have managed to come down with symptoms of postpartum depression. Plus, dads are most vulnerable some 3 to 6 months after the birth of their child.
The reason? Experts think that dad’s postpartum depression may be a result of feeling isolated, confused, or anxiety over his new role. A father may be at a loss about what to do when his wife chooses to breastfeed, or may not know who to turn too about their emotions and adjusting to being a parent.
And if dad is always finding himself missing the days when his wife wasn’t pregnant or not tending to a screaming, hungry, or poopy newborn baby, he may exacerbate his feelings of loneliness, angst, and cause his stress levels to skyrocket.
Sources: Parenting, Live Science, Baby Center, Father's Forum, Slate, Babble, Motherly, Baby Gaga, Self, Health Magazine, Web MD, Food Allergy Canada, Mom Junction, Fit Pregnancy, Consumer Health Day, Medical News Today