As I’m sure many mothers will say, parenthood is no walk in the park. As a matter of fact, a lot of people find it to be the hardest job in the world. And if we can be honest here for a moment, there are plenty of reasons for it. First off, parents are always tired. Second, they have a very demanding, cranky, moody and emotional boss. And third, they never get a day off and are expected to be on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Unfortunately, it doesn’t end on your child’s 18th birthday, either.
Whether you are prepared to admit it or not, you are going to be worrying about your child for the rest of your life. It just comes with the territory.
What makes motherhood most challenging is when you see other people and they make the job look so easy. But I’m sure a lot of us know that what we see on social media usually doesn’t equal what happens behind closed doors. A lot of people might want their lives to look perfect, thus giving us the sense that we are doing it all wrong. Here are 15 things that other moms aren’t doing, but won’t admit it.
15 Not Every Meal Is Home Cooked
These days it’s really hard to prepare a home-cooked meal, regardless if you are a stay at home mother or a working mother. Because let’s face it: our hands are tied almost all the time. And as much as we want to give our families the best meals on the table, it’s not always possible. Sometimes it’s hard to squeeze in that extra time you need in the kitchen. Instead of stressing out about it, that’s when we usually call for a take-out pizza or order the usual from Noodles. And we end up doing this several times a week.
Reese Witherspoon once put it this way, “No one’s really doing it perfectly, I just think you love your kids with your whole heart, and you do the best you possibly can.”
14 Not Every Room Is Cleaned
A lot of people want us to believe that they truly do have their sh*t together, if you know what we mean. Their Instagram feeds and Facebook pages always look picture perfect, don’t they? Well, here’s the truth. It’s not perfect. That mom with the great hair, extensive collection of Tory Burch flats and Honda Odyssey has a house that is as messy as your own. She just pushes everything to the side when it’s time to take that weekly Instagram photo. In other words, it’s all an illusion, my friends.
Gwyneth Paltrow explained it like this, “I never understand why mothers judge other mothers, like, “What do you mean you didn’t breastfeed? What do you mean you didn’t do this?” It’s like, “Can’t we all just be on each other’s side?’”
13 No One Feels Fully Rested
I’ve been doing this thing called motherhood for well over a decade now. And do you want to know a secret? It doesn’t get easier. At least, not on my end. I can swear to you that I feel more exhausted now than when my children were newborns. And that’s not because I’m just physically tired. I am mentally tired, too. I worry about my kids now more than ever. No one feels fully rested and if they say they do, chances are that they are lying. Trust me. That, or they have their nanny do all the work.
Actress Kate Beckinsale once admitted, “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”
12 Not Everything Is Childproofed
Before my first born came into this world, my husband and I did a damn good job of childproofing our entire house. No cabinet was left unlocked and no piece of furniture was not mounted in place. But the more kids you have and the more responsibilities you bear, the more you forget about things. And don’t worry, it’s not like you are doing this intentionally. We all have a lot on our plate. All the things we did with our first child tend to go to the wayside with our second, third, fourth, and so on.
Sienna Miller has said, “I was overwhelmed by how normal it felt. It was like, “There you are – that’s what I have been missing.” Like we’re both in on something only we know. An amazing sense of being complicit with a little being.”
11 Skipping Baths
This might sound very gross and disgusting to a lot of people, but plenty of moms and dads tend to forget to give their children night-time baths before bedtime. That, or they are simply too tired to do the job. But before you beat yourself over it, don’t worry. It’s not like little kids get very dirty to begin with. The more mobile they are, the more of a chance that they’ll get into trouble outside with the dirt and mud.
Drew Barrymore once said, “My favorite thing about being a mom is just what a better person it makes you on a daily basis. Every morning when I wake her up, the endgame is, “Can I get her to smile?” And that puts me in a good mood. It’s definitely a different way to live – and a much better one.”
10 Skipping Dinner
Just like it’s really hard to prepare a home-cooked meal every day, it’s just as hard to prepare dinner on a nightly basis! No, you are not a bad mother if you forget to cook your family dinner or you simply don’t want to one night. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just called it a night by giving my kids grilled cheese sandwiches or better yet, pancakes and waffles for dinner. As long as they eat, and are content and happy, who cares what your mother-in-law has to say, right? Trust us, she wasn’t perfect, either.
Julianne Moore confessed, “It’s not difficult to take care of a child; it’s difficult to do anything else while taking care of a child. Trying to clean up the kitchen after you’ve had a baby is a nightmare.”
9 Arguing With Your Spouse Over Parental Duties
Now, this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Believe it or not, a lot of married couples argue over their parental duties each and every night. That’s because we have such high expectations of one another. What’s more, we are just damn tired and expect the other person to either take over or pull their weight when you just can’t do it anymore.
Gwen Stefani explained, “[I wondered] how I would fit [the baby] into my life. Would I be too self-obsessed to be able to care about him enough? I have a really extraordinary life and I obviously have a lot of passion about the things that I do. So I didn’t know if I could be selfless enough. But obviously I can – it’s the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me.”
8 Not Every Milestone Is Recorded
Now, we don’t want to get into another heated debate over working mothers versus stay at home mothers. By now, it’s safe to say that every job is difficult, no matter how you do it or where you do it for that matter. And even if you stay at home with the kids, you don’t get to be there for every milestone. Heck, your baby might be taking his or her first steps while you are stuck in the bathroom with your period pains. Sh*t happens, and quite literally, too!
Victoria Beckham put it this way, “Like so many working mothers all over the world, I feel the constant struggle to be the best mother I can, whilst setting a good example to my children to work hard. I travel for work when it’s necessary, and I miss them all the time when I am away.”
7 Everyone Loses Their Cool
Just because you are a mother, you can’t expect to be Mary Poppins, all the time. Everyone loses their cool, regardless of whether or not they want to admit to it. Why? Because we are human beings. We are also mothers who haven’t slept much in the last few months and need a break, gosh darn it. We scream, we yell, and we have our temper tantrums, too. The thing is, we just don’t talk about it very often because it’s not the adult thing to do.
Claire Danes said, “Being a mom is incredibly challenging but we still feel a pressure to talk about it in very romantic terms. We all have that resentment at times and anxiety about being trapped by the role, that responsibility. And then chemically it can run riot…and there’s no ‘off’ button.”
6 Not Everything Bought Is Organic
A lot of first-time mothers want you to think that everything they buy (whether it’s food, clothes, bed sheets, and so on) is completely organic, non-toxic and made from the finest and most expensive materials on Earth. And guess what: that’s a huge, fat lie! The majority of us don’t have the budget to splurge on organic food that our kids are going to spit out anyway. And most of the things you see on store shelves in places like Whole Foods are a huge waste of money, anyway. Now that’s the truth.
Kate Winslet once said in an interview, “There’s something really empowering about going, ‘Hell, I can do this! I can do this all!’ That’s the wonderful thing about mothers, you can because you must, and you just do.”
5 Not Every Moment Is ‘Special’
I’m sure a lot of people sometimes look at other moms and think, ‘Damn, she makes it look so easy.’ Or, ‘Damn, she looks like she’s really enjoying being at the supermarket with her four kids in tow.’ Or damn, that mother has the time to be with her kids, work out every morning, and go to the blow dry bar in the afternoon, too.’ Some of that might be true, and some of it might not. Because not every moment is special. And not every moment with your kids is worth remembering. Sometimes you need to step away and do you, too.
Believe it or not, Kim Kardashian had this to say, “It is an adjustment trying to balance a career and motherhood for sure, but the key is to prioritize. You become more selective and work on projects that are so meaningful because you want every other waking moment spent with your family. You have to remember though to make time for yourself.”
4 Not Every Mother Loves Play Dates
During those first crucial years of your child’s life, a lot of parents think that it’s very important to get their child to socialize as much as possible. But the truth of that matter is, most kids would rather play by themselves or next to another kid, rather than with them. And the same applies to moms, too. Not every mother loves going on play dates. That’s because we are so damn tired that the last thing we want to do is make small talk with another mom that we barely know or want to know!
Sandra Bullock has said in a past interview, “I’m simply the mom who makes the lunch, drives to school, finds out where the toys are, washes the clothes, and I’m here to play. And that’s all I should be.”
3 Not Every Photo Is Worth Putting On Social Media
Let’s discuss the elephant in the room here: one of the worst things about modern motherhood is social media. Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat really do make it feel like everyone is competing with one another. But the thing is, most moms tend to post their highlights reel, and that’s it. They don’t show off the sh*t that really goes on when no one is watching. In other words, not every photo is worth putting on social media. We’ve got a lot of outtakes that hopefully will never see the light of day.
Blake Lively put it rather bluntly, “You never know when you’re gonna get crapped on, when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. It might be like living with a drug addict.”
2 Breastfeeding Doesn’t Always Come Easy
Here’s another hot topic that a lot of people have differing opinions on: to breastfeed or not to breastfeed. And to make things worse, so many people make breastfeeding look so damn easy, while for others it’s nothing more than a struggle. The truth of the matter is, it’s not always easy. Motherhood isn’t easy. But it’s part of the job, and it’s one that we’ve all signed up to do for the rest of our lives. At the end of the day, your happiness and your family’s happiness is all that really matters.
Angelina Jolie has said, “I see myself as a mom first. I’m so lucky to have that role in life. The world can like me, hate me or fall apart around me and at least I wake up with my kids and I’m happy.”
1 Letting The Baby Cry It Out
While there are plenty of different parenting methods that people like to put to the test every day, not each one works. One controversial method is the crying it out method. While some moms do this with the hopes that their baby will self-soothe, others do it because they are too damn tired. They just need a break from their kid!
The great thing about being a mother is that we don’t give up. Ever. No matter how hard it gets or how much you just feel like throwing in the towel. Jennifer Lopez has said, “It's unconditional love. I know that everybody feels this way about their kids, but I just feel like they're super special. I can't wait to see what they do, and I feel like my job is to not mess them up too much.”
References: brainyquotes.com, azquotes.com, cosmopolitan.co.uk, marieclaire.co.uk