There are things you just don't say to a moody, hormonal, heavily pregnant woman. If you have been on the receiving end of such well-intentioned yet careless remarks, you will understand this.
Here are 10 things no-one should ever say to a pregnant woman (which you probably realized were completely out of place when someone said it to you while you were pregnant):
10 'You've put on weight'
Well yes, you are pregnant. Still, what gave that person a license to comment on your weight? You would take a swipe at them but lifting your arm seems too much effort. Instead, you dig into another tub of ice cream to console yourself and remind yourself that you're eating for two.
Ice cream is a dairy product, is it not? Calcium in dairy is good for baby's skeletal development you reason, and continue to eat. Pregnancy is not the time to go on a diet.
9 'I hope the baby doesn't get... (one of your or your partner's qualities)'
There is an unspoken rule when it comes to pregnant women. Only the parents of the baby and no other person is allowed to make frivolous, passing comments about the baby in your womb. These kinds of comments can leave you feeling on the edge.
Does the person commenting realize how much of your heart is in the pregnancy or how this infant is already more real and valuable to you than your own fingers and toes? Also, do they understand the anxiety you feel over whether you will recognize the baby as your own, or even love it?
Yes, those thoughts contradict each other, but pregnant women have complicated thoughts, as they come to terms with entering the new season in their life, and nature shapes them up to be Mom.
8 'Don't worry, when you breastfeed you will lose that weight..."
Should you thank poeple for commenting on your weight and helpfully giving you a solution? Something about being overloaded with hormones and weary makes it incredibly difficult to stomach such a comment.
You already feel like a whale, so then why would someone kindly point your whale-like physique out to you - and then scare you even more by suggesting breastfeeding will help?
You're still coping with the changes in your body and they are skipping to breastfeeding, which seems just a little scary - especially if you are a new mom and unsure if you'll even be able to do it.
7 'You are starting to look just like a mom...'
Say this to a pregnant woman and she will toss and turn at night wondering what this means. Does this mean she is fat, or frumpy, or no longer holds her youthful looks?
While you might love being a mom and holding the title, Mom, now that there is a baby in your womb who will first call you Mama, and later Mom; you don't want to look like an older woman who dresses practically and perms her hair and stands at the school fence, with dry hands from all the washing up, holding the school lunch that her kid left at home.
You want to be a glamorous mom. In your pregnant state, you probably wished they said, 'You are starting to look just like Super Mom...'
6 'Did you eat all of the peanut butter again?'
Ok, so you sat one morning eating spoon after spoon of peanut butter - and enjoyed it. Then the next day you had some more.
If the container is finished it wasn't necessarily you but even if it was, did someone really need to point it out? It's called a craving.
5 'Do I need to open the door wider for you to get through?'
You are pregnant, not a bus, or a collective group of people. Why would someone need to hold the door widely open for you?
Even if your lovely belly which contains a child, you might add, doesn't quite fit through the door - you have arms and hands. Can you not open it yourself? Did becoming pregnant mean you became helpless?
Your answer to such a comment should have been, 'No, thank you.'
4 'Should you really be eating/drinking that?'
This innocent comment, disguised as a concern, adds to the stress you feel as your shovel chocolate and cream into your mouth.
Maybe you don't think you should eat it either but it tastes so good. Or maybe it's something which used to be "banned" but is now fine. You may be pregnant but you can still make smart choices.
Whatever the reason, you don't need to be reminded by this concerned person. As mentioned, if they keep asking, just eat them too.
3 'Can I touch your belly?'
Some pregnant women are ok with this. For others, strangers randomly touching their stomach is a little strange and can make them very uncomfortable.
You might not like the attention on your size, as even though your size is justified (you are carrying a baby), it is still you they want to touch. You wouldn't exactly ask to touch their belly. Why are they asking you?
2 'Giving birth is like pushing out a rugby ball'
Some women might thoughtlessly relay their horrific labor tales to you, telling you how they suffered for hours and reminding you how giving birth is like pushing out a rugby ball.
Is that necessary? You are already apprehensive. There are so many things you feel anxious about - finances, your ability as a mom, your appearance, your sense of losing your old self to someone new... Why then would they tell you scary stories about labor?
1 'Wait until you get to the last trimester'
You are breezing through your pregnancy, in the second trimester and feeling energetic again after the first few months of morning sickness-colored days. Then someone comes and bursts your bubble by telling you to enjoy the energy and positive vibes you are experiencing as much as you can because the third trimester is coming!
Was that really necessary, you wonder. This is one thing you wish was not said to you - or any pregnant woman for that matter.