Being pregnant doesn’t come easy, and when it is an unplanned one, things tend to get considerably harder. But the fact remains that not every pregnancy out there is a planned one, and for some women, finding out that they are pregnant is perhaps the most devastating thing ever. The reasons for this are many including financial instability, relationship problems, and already having what is considered a ‘complete’ family.
If you have an unplanned pregnancy, chances are you are scared and confused about what you should do, and no matter what, it is vital for you to remember that there are plenty of options out there for you. With that, you need to bear in mind that even the strongest and closest of couples find it hard to cope with unplanned pregnancies, so if you are feeling stressed out and frustrated about things, it is completely natural. Now, here are a few things that you need to remember at all times when dealing with an unplanned pregnancy that will help you cope with things:
10 The decision will be yours and yours alone
Whether you wish to keep the baby or not will be solely your decision. As the mother of the baby, it is you who gets to decide what steps you wish to take from now onwards. Although it is highly recommended for you to speak to the father of the baby and seek advice from your friends and family members, it will eventually be you who will decide whether you wish to carry the baby to term or not. Also, if you aren’t married, you will also have to decide whether you want to keep the baby to yourself or would you rather opt for adoption. But no matter what decision you make, don’t forget to inform the father of your baby about it.
9 A quick decision is necessary
Whether you wish to keep the baby or not is a decision that needs to be made rather quickly. This is because in case you opt for an abortion, it is best for it to be performed early on in your pregnancy to avoid any risks involved. On the other hand, if you decide to keep the baby, an early decision will help you set up a quick appointment with the doctor so you can take ample care of yourself and the little angel to come.
8 Planned or unplanned, you need to take care of yourself
No matter whether your pregnancy is planned or not; there is no reason why you should stop taking care of yourself. While you are making your decision, it is vital for you to follow the basic health rules for pregnant women. This includes not drinking, staying away from smoking, eating well and a whole lot more. With that, you need to have an adequate diet that contains calcium, iron and folic acid to ensure your well-being together with your baby’s.
7 Unplanned pregnancies do not equal unloved babies
Considering that you have an unplanned pregnancy, this in no way implies that your baby will remain unloved if you decide to move on with it and have your baby. Yes, there might at times be feelings of guilt along with frequent stress, but the one thing for sure is that your baby will have all of your love. So, if you are feeling bad that you won’t be able to give the baby your best, rest-assured that when the time comes, s/he is going to be the center of your attention!
6 Consider your immediate needs
Although it is normal for you to experience stages of turmoil and denial all through your pregnancy, it is necessary for you to give due consideration to your immediate needs. To begin with, choose your doctor and setup an appointment. Next, work out how you wish to break the news to your family, friends and of course, your partner. If you plan on keeping the baby, think of when you wish to inform your employer. Things might seem a bit daunting to begin with, but rest-assured that it will all work out with time.
5 Break it to your partner/husband
Now that you have come to terms with the news, it is time for you to break it to your partner/husband. In a perfect scenario, he should be equally shocked and excited about the news and be there to support you all through the pregnancy. However, if he doesn’t take it well, don’t try to change his mind right away. Instead, listen to what he has to say, and give him a bit of time to accept it. Remember, there is no way for you to control his emotions, and it is necessary for you to take the initiative in such a situation and be supportive. Talk things through with him and he will definitely come around.
4 Work on developing a support system
Remember the adage that says, “A problem shared is a problem halved”? Although your pregnancy is a very personal experience, it is vital for you to develop a network of people who you can seek advice and draw strength from. Choose a few people who you trust with your life and share things with them - things like your feelings, your thoughts, your expectations and most importantly, your needs. These will be people like your partner, mother, sister, childhood friend etc. No matter who you choose, make sure that you are 100% comfortable with them. If need be, you can consider joining counseling groups too.
3 Consider your finances
Yes, the entire process of being pregnant and delivering your baby can turn into a fairly costly one. Even though your pregnancy has come as a surprise, it is necessary for you to give ample consideration to your finances. With that, make sure that you add in paid parental leave to stop yourself from getting scared of the entire ‘taking time off work’ notion. While you are at it, work out a plan as to how you are going to save up for the baby.
2 List out the bare minimums that you need for yourself and the baby
To move ahead with your plans, it is vital for you to make a list of the bare minimums that you need for yourself and your baby. This includes maternal wear for yourself, a bit of healthy foods and snacks, and a few other things that are of utmost importance to you. As for the baby, this includes formula (if you don’t plan on breastfeeding), clothing, a pram or a car seat, and of course, a comfortable place to sleep.
1 Being afraid is completely okay!
Being pregnant is a major life event, and considering that your pregnancy has come as a surprise, it is completely natural for you to be scared, anxious and stressed out. To make things easier for yourself, just follow your heart, do what you believe is right, get the help you need, relax and just focus on enjoying what you have at hand!
Things can get extremely bewildering with an unplanned pregnancy. Even if you accept the news with an open heart, and actually look forward to being a parent, you are bound to find yourself having to adjust to many things. So if you want to lighten things up for yourself and breeze through your unplanned pregnancy, make sure that you follow the tips mentioned above!