All new parents will come to share the same complaint once their new little ones are mobile. Which is that there's no such thing as privacy when you have a toddler. But then, you pretty much expect that, right? And yet, no amount of universal parenting knowledge and anecdotes can really make it better, so to speak. Of course it's just one of those things that come along with parenting and enables you to appreciate the times you do have privacy, while reminiscing on the moments you took the sweet sounds of silence for granted, but you get it.
The one area of your life after having a kid, and eventually a toddler, that you probably didn't expect to have to alter was something as simple as going to the bathroom. Because, as we all know as parents of toddlers, there's no such thing as using the bathroom alone when you've got a walking, talking, babbling, little guy or girl on your heels everywhere you go.
On the one hand, it's pretty refreshing having this kid tag along, unashamed of their curiosity and wanting to spend every spare moment with you. On the other hand, though, it would be nice to have a few precious moments of solitude on the porcelain throne, right? Especially when your toddler could easily be up to no good while you're in there, freaking you out when you should be relaxing during this bathroom break of parenting. What your toddler gets into and up to when you're in the washroom could range from the totally innocent to the devastatingly destructive.
16 Coloring On The Walls
This is, almost stereotypically, a huge fear of most parents. Sure, crayons on the walls equal minimal cleanup time, but when markers come into play, or when the walls are so covered that you need to just plop on the couch for a cleaning breather, it's bad.
15 Raiding The Pantry
You being shut away in the bathroom for just a few minutes even means that they can finally pull out that clear tub of cheese balls that your toddler has been eyeing. It also means that they can inadvertently spill all of the cereal boxes.
14 Torturing The Cats
Of course, not literally, but if you have any pets, then chances are, your toddler is super curious about them. This "free time" away from parental supervision means that they can finally see what happens when they pull on the tail of the cat or try their doll's bonnet on the dog.
13 Begging To Come In The Bathroom
When you're using the bathroom and your toddler is standing outside, calling out "Mommy" or "Daddy" over and over again, how can you even say no? Especially because they can and will keep going until you give in. Toddlers are nothing if not seriously resilient.
12 Erasing Everything On The DVR
This is a painful one, and all too real for those tech-inclined toddlers who are all about stealing the remote control every chance they get. They might mean well by trying to change the channel to another favorite show of theirs, but there's a good chance they will just accidentally delete every single episode of Game of Thrones that you'd been saving.
11 Trying To Climb The Baby Gate
You might think you've got it all covered by securing them in the living room with a baby gate while you take a pee break, but this is no baby anymore - this is a toddler you're dealing with. They will try and fail 10 times before they finally make it over the baby gate and into the hallway.
10 Drinking Out Of The Doggy Dish
The puppy loves it so much, so it has to be good, right? At least, that's probably what your toddler is thinking as they watch your dog lap up bowl after bowl of ice cold water.
9 Buying Pay-Per-View Movies On TV
This is another situation where all your toddler is trying to do is get more acquainted with the workings of the remote control and chance the channel as they've watched you so expertly do time and time again. That doesn't mean, though, that the outcome will ever be successful.
8 Trying To Pour The Dog Food In Her Dish
Yes, your toddler may be that obsessed with your family pets, because those are the only household beings that are "below" them, so to speak. So yep, that means trying to take care of your pup as a good human sibling should.
7 Trashing The Living Room
Your toddler may be banging on the bathroom door to get in there with you, or they could be celebrating the fact that they have free reign over the living room. This means making it their own personal toy pit of blocks, couch cushions, and Barbies.
6 Bringing You "Meals" From Their Pretend Kitchen
The only thing your toddler probably loves more than your special mac 'n cheese is whipping up recipes for you using the felt and plastic ingredients in their play kitchen. And if that means serving you some purple spaghetti and meatballs while you're on the toilet, then so be it.
5 Demanding That You Let Them Flush For You
Now that your toddler is in the throes of potty training, they probably fancy themselves to be potty experts. So it should only make sense that they want to assist you in your own potty excursion.
4 Screaming That They Need To Go To The Bathroom
We've all been there. You're enjoying the sweet release as you sit on the toilet, enjoying a moment of silence, and suddenly your toddler exclaims that they need to go, and nowwww. So you've got no choice but to turn your planned leisurely 15 minute bathroom break into a 45 second quickie.
3 Taking Photo Frames Off The Walls
Your toddler may be removing the photos just to get a better look at all of the family members and friends your family loves, but you're probably not wrong in assuming that your kid is just trying to be difficult. How dare you go to the bathroom, right?
2 Yelling Outside The Living Room Window To Passersby
This is another example of your toddler actually loving when you leave them alone to use the bathroom. So yes, you may hear your son or daughter yelling the broken toddler English of their language out the windows of your home.
1 Being Suspiciously Quiet
Any parent would be instantly terrified at the absence of sound when being in another room, away from their usually rambunctious child. This could be because your toddler is being peaceful and sweet, calmly sitting down on the living room floor and building with some handy Legos. Or, it could mean that they've just gotten into your nail polish and are working on turning their entire chubby right foot into a sparky pink mess. Oh, the joys of parenthood.